First it must be understood that the personal image is not primarily addressed to the left brain logic but to the right brain emotions. We feel a person’s image much more than we coldly analyze it. A person is “seen” with the heart and not with the brain.

It must also be remembered that our interpretation of a personal images is determined by what is called an “a priori.” An a priori is a deduction made from past observations and conclusion. In other words, we evaluate what a person’s image means to us by automatically comparing it to our previous experience of similar images.

As and example, most people would see a chubby person as being jovial and easy going. Such a conclusion is not based on facts but on previous experience and popular notions. An image is exactly what it says, it’s an image and not a reality so it can be rebuilt, modified and enhanced to our advantage.

When working on the personal image, the first consideration must be the target of the intended image. What will appeal to teenagers will be vastly different than if the business or professional world is targeted. The rock star image will go quite well with teenagers while Donald Trump will be more fitting in the business or professional world.

The image presented will be perceived mostly by the senses and it must appeal to what’s needed and wanted by your targeted community. That is, if you are a businessman, you must look like a prosperous businessman who does not have a care in the world, talk the part and walk it. However, if you are in the community service you cannot afford to go around in a Rolls Royce wearing $3,000 suits. The image must fit the community.

The best role models for the personal image are the people who are successful in your field. These people should be studied, copied and emulated as much as possible.

The personal image is the tribune upon which a person stands to deliver his message. It is the lens through which a person is judged, cataloged and perceived. It is the “you” that the world see, accept, reject or ignore. It is your personal brand for all to see. A lot of your successes and failures depend on it. So, treat it well, improve it as much as possible but don’t get bent out of shape if it happens to be rejected by some.

You can’t please everyone every time. So, don’t overlook the positive many for the negative few. Create the best possible personal image and wear it proudly. It’s your personal trademark for all to see so make it a good one.

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Selling is done through persuasion. Most selling that we do everyday is easy because the “buyers” are already ready and disposed to accept. Everyday we must “sell” ourselves to our spouse, our family, our friends – but that’s easy to do because they are already disposed to be sold. In other situations though, the selling, or persuasion needs more skill and more work.

That is where Newton’s first law of physic comes into play. That law states that, “an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” As far as we are concerned, the important part of that law is the last part which says, “object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction.’

That is true with an object in motion and it’s also true with our psyche. When a train of thoughts leads in one direction it becomes harder and harder to switch it around. If a person agrees with you and agrees with you for a length of time it becomes harder and harder to change position and start disagreeing with you.

So, if we want to convince someone of something that may prove to be difficult to accept the best course of action is to start asking question that we are almost certain will illicit a “yes” response.

Questions like, “Would you like to solve this problem?” Followed by, “You would like to pay as little as possible for that service don’t you?” Those questions will illicit a “yes” response and after awhile a pattern is set up. The “yes” responses become natural and easier and easier to give.

That is when the time for the clincher comes. Time to ask, do you want to buy my product, proposition, idea or suggestion? If there is any chance that whatever it is that you are proposing will be accepted, chances are very good that it will be at that point.

The point of the thread is that, just as an object in motion tends to stay in motion, a person who has been saying yes, yes, yes… will find it harder to say no. Not impossible, but harder.

So, whenever you are trying to convince anyone of anything, get the person in a positive mood, get them to say yes or accept propositions that they cannot refuse and then come up with the proposition that you wanted to have accepted in the first place.

Life is selling and in order to get ahead we need to know the tricks of the trade. That was one of them.

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To put it in other words, being rich does not mean having resources it means having resourcefulness.

We can always lose our resources but, so long as we are healthy, no one can rob us of our resourcefulness.

I had a brother who, at one time, was worth upward of twenty million dollars but he had the poverty mindset and, no matter how well he would do financially, he always felt insecure about money or about his own survival for that matter. That feeling got so bad that he started having panic attacks.

The problem was that he was identifying with his bank account and not with his resourcefulness. First and foremost, we are who we are and not what we have. A fundamental belief based on false premises cannot withstand the tides of time. Sooner or later the truth has to emerge and the edifice supported by false beliefs will crumble.

Two years ago, I lost my beloved brother. Cancer took him away. I felt a strong sense of loss but what hurt the most was knowing that he had not been able to find peace and happiness throughout his adult years. That was the great tragedy.

Money is a tool and nothing else, and like any other tool, it can help or hurt us depending on how we use it. Whether we believe it or not, money can be a friend or a foe. It all depends on how we look at it.

First, it must be understood that we do not “own” money. We cannot go to the bank and ask a teller to “see our money.” Such a request would probably be cause to question our sanity. We do not “own” money but we have the permission and the right to manage the amount of money that is indicated in our bank account.

A small but all important distinction. If we can manage money we can affect its flow inward or outward but we are at no risk of losing what is not “ours” in the first place. That small distinction takes all the stress out money matters.

Being rich means being free from monetary worries and monetary considerations. It means understanding that money is like air. There is enough for everyone and all that we have to do is to place ourselves in a situation where we will have access to that resource.

Money plays a very important role in our lives yet the concept of money is greatly misunderstood. Money is a tool and as with any other tool, it not the amount of any specific tool that we have that really matters, but how well we understand that tool and how well we can manipulate it that makes all the difference.

Having large amount of money will never make us feel rich but having ample supply of resourcefulness will. So, let us not concentrate on gathering money if security is high on our priority list but let us work on who and what we are because that is what will increase our level of resourcefulness and that’s what being rich and secure is all about.

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In this Blog, I would like to address the fundamental and universal need for significance. Significance is having the feeling that we are somebody, that we matter, that we make a difference. For most people, the way that this need is met will determine to a very large extent which direction that they will take in their life.

Donald Trump fulfills that need by being one of the most outlandish and biggest real estate developer. Obviously the need for significance is very profound in his case and it has totally shaped his life.

On the other hand, Arnold Schwarzenegger needs to be first in order to fulfill his need of significance. That need has had him push himself to train harder than anyone else in order to become the number one bodybuilder in the world. It did not stop there. Successful bodybuilders have a history of becoming movie actor.
So he became one. And not only did he became an actor but he has also eclipsed all other bodybuilders as an actor. The need to be number one has defined who he was and what he did.

The history of all great people are the same. They had an intense need for significance and they became famous by fulfilling that need.

Now, each and everyone of us also has that need for significance. Yet, very few of us has taken the time to determine what we do to fulfill that need. And more importantly most of us don’t know if we are fulfilling that need in an empowering or disempowering way.

If you want to know how you fulfill most of your need for significance, simply as yourself the question, “What is it about me that attracts attention?” You might be quite surprised to find out what the answer will be.

Both, positive and negative traits will attract attention. Some people will attract attention by being successes, others will do it by being failures. Some people will fulfill the need in an empowering way, others in a disempowering way. Some will do it by being heroes, others will do it by being obnoxious. There are those who will do it by building people up. Others will do it by tearing people down.

We all have our own personal technique, our own personal operational system to achieve significance. We have to find out what it is and we have to find out if it is leading us to personal fulfillment, contentment and happiness or if it’s leading us down the path of misery and self-destruction.

The good news is that we are not stuck with something that does not work. We can change it. People who got their sense of significance by winning at all cost have found out that they could change and find the same significance by helping others to win, by contributing rather than by seeking exclusively their self-interest.

Significance plays a very important role in our life. We need to explore the way that we do it and, if need be, change it to a more rewarding path.

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There are four needs of the personality and two needs of the spirit.

Needs of the Personality:

1. Certainty. We all need a certain amount of certainty. We need to know that there is more than a reasonable chance that no harm will be done to us. We need to know that the basic necessities of life will be there for us. We need to feel secure.

2. Uncertainty. If we could predict the future, if we knew everything that is going to happen to us, we would be bored out of our minds. So we need a certain amount of uncertainty in our lives.

3. Significance. Every one needs to feel that they are important. That they matter. That they are worthy of respect. That, in some way, they are special.

4. Connection and love. No man is an island. We need to be loved and appreciated. We need to connect with other people. We need to belong in someone’s heart and mind.

Needs of the spirit:

1. Growth. We need to feel that we are evolving, that we are improving. We need to feel that we are on an upward course of self-development and self-fulfillment.

2. Contribution. It is just normal to feel the need to contribute in some way to someone. It makes us feel good to do so. Contribution is the final stage in human development. Once a person can fulfill his own needs the need for contribution automatically kicks in.

The way that we respond to those needs determine who we are as individuals. That is why it is important to determine which is the predominant need as far as we are concerned because that one need has extreme influence in our life. It reveals much about how we think, how we see the world along with giving insight on our behavior.

After reviewing these needs we might find out that our most important need is not leading us down the path that we would like to follow and that maybe we should concentrate on another need instead.

As an example, someone who has an excessive need for significance might find out that he would be better served by concentrating on the need of connection and love. That person may have been trying to fulfill the need for love by trying to acquire a higher plateau of self-importance.

After some introspection it could also be found that some basic needs have been completely ignored. Usually that would be in the realm of the needs of the spirit, that is, growth and contribution. It is impossible to feel whole if these fundamental needs are not fulfilled.

To feel whole, to feel complete, to grow and expand as we should, all these six needs have to be adequately fulfilled. A task that no one else can do for us.

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He has attended scores of Motivational Seminars, he did the Tony Robbins’ fire walk, has attended Neuro-linguistic Seminars (NLP) given by Dr. Greg Cheetwood and is a member of the Grand Tour Organization (GTO) of Dr. James W. Parker.

His favorite book is, Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. Over 4,000 hours over the course of a decade was devoted to an indebt study of that book. The approach to that study was similar to a preparation to teach the subject at Harvard University. It was thorough and complete.

Shamou has hosted a local TV show on health for five years. He has given seminars on Personal Development and Motivation and hundreds of talks and conferences on the subjects.

An avid poster, he has over 20,000 posts to his credit in various Motivational and Inspirational sites.

Father of a Harvard University graduate, he has been living with the love of his life, Danielle, for the past 26 years.

Right now, he is enjoying life to the fullest and trying to make a difference in the world by sharing what he has been so fortunate to learn and use.

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