That is the process that allows us to perform automatically most of what we do during the course of our life. That’s the process that allows us to drive a car almost automatically, to use our keyboard without having to search for the letters etc. However, that process also does a lot more.

That is the process that formed most of the beliefs that we have. It’s where most of our personal views on just about every subject under the sun were constructed. These beliefs and views are neatly tucked up in our bank of reference just waiting to spring forth when the need occurs.

The problem with that bank of references is that most of it was already formed before we were three years old. That is to say that some very important evaluations were done before we were mature enough to do it. Hard to believe but true.

By the age of three, we had definite notions about love, about relationships, about money, about people and about just every imaginable subject. At the time, they were very embryonic notions but they established the basis upon which our beliefs were eventually formed and accepted as gospel truth.

Today, years later, that bank of reference is still being used to define our reality. As we developed, learned and grew, some of those beliefs were altered to adapt to new information but the original evaluations still play an important role in our belief system.

Without that bank of references we simply could not function. It is where our automatic reflexes are stored; it is through that bank of references that we can have a normal conversation without having to analyze the course of that conversation. It’s the guiding mechanism for most of our actions however it is also were our beliefs are held.

Our beliefs are extremely important because they define our reality. As such, some of those beliefs are empowering and some are not. Some beliefs contribute positively and some are major roadblocks. Some beliefs are sources of inspiration and growth while others only contribute to difficulties and hardships.

We are the steward of our own bank of references and the overseer of our beliefs. It is for us to determine what is good and what is not; what should be kept and what should be changed.

It is to be remembered that beliefs are not cast in stone. They are simply notions that we have adopted for reasons that, in some cases, may be questionable and sometimes adopted before we were mature enough to make judicial decisions.

Some people where influenced, by the time that they were three years old, to believe that they were worthless and that they could never achieve anything worthwhile in their life. Years and years later that belief still affect and run their life in spite of tons of evidences to the contrary. That’s a real tragedy.

Beliefs are simply notions that we have accepted and notions that can be questioned and changed. Changes may not always be easy because our mind has a strong need for consistency. However, with some determination, a disempowering belief can always be replaced by a positive one. That’s how we grow, mature and become wiser and more effective.

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Life is about balance and equilibrium. One of the best ways to learn and grow is by emulating the Greats of this world. On the other hand, since each of us is basically different, we must at times be willing to leave the beaten path and forge ahead in uncharted lands. That’s when we need to start thinking outside the box.

Thinking outside the box is creativity at its finest. That’s how some of the greatest breakthroughs came about. While most people were thinking about reinventing the proverbial “better” mousetrap, someone said, “Hey, how could I make a million dollars using my computer?” The rest is history – hundreds of new billionaires.

While everyone was mailing resumes, someone said, “How could I create my own job?” Result, hundreds of new entrepreneurs making tons of money and having the time of the lives. Again, the magic of thinking outside of the box.

It is said that, “People do what people do because people do what people do.” What that saying does not say is that when people do what other people do, they also get what other people get. We don’t have to look around very long to find out that maybe we don’t want what others have. That’s not being cynical; it’s being factual.

Thinking outside the box is simply the pursuit of a seemingly outlandish or impossible dream. It is done by asking ourselves the simple question, “Why not?” It is done by exploring what may seem to be a fantasy at first sight, something that had never been done before. The simple fact that something has never been done before does not mean that it cannot be done or should not be done.

When we approach the autumn of our live, most of our regrets are not over things that we have done but about what we should have done and did not have the courage to do.

We don’t know what we are capable off until we try. We have personal resources that we don’t even suspect that we have. They just lay there waiting to be discovered and exploited. It is said that we only use a fraction of our god-given talents. A statement that has never been disputed.

Napoleon Hill said, “What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” It takes courage and fortitude to believe and heed those words. They are powerful words and once integrated into a personal fundamental belief, they can unleash astonishing personal resources.

Thinking outside the box creates diversity. It opens new channels of expression and reveals new worlds. Often times it creates the channel to what was hitherto impossible, and in doing so, brings life to a new level. The story of man’s progress is the story of thinking outside the box.

Thinking outside the box is to think differently, unconventionally or from a new perspective. This is sometimes called a process of lateral thought. A technique that is especially useful when encountering a solid wall while pursuing an objective or developing a theory. When that happens, the only thing that can be done is lateral gravitating in search of the opening that will allow further progress.

Faith in the knowledge that, “where there’s a will, there’s a way” is the essential element to spur on and flame the process of thinking outside the box. A technique that could be called “life saving” for moribund concepts.

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Self-improvement will give you more tools and more resources. It will provide options that you never had before. It will give you insight on the working of the mind; it will give you hope when you need it and support when the going gets rough.

There is one thing that self-improvement will never do for you and that’s taking action for you. That is the major problem of those who get into self-improvement and fail. I have been very active in the self-improvement world and I have seen people spending ninety percent of their time learning new material or reading inspirational books while only spending ten percent of their time applying what they have learned. Not a good ratio at all.

Reading motivational material, attending seminars and going to great rallies can become a drug of choice. People who spend inordinate amount of time fiddling with self-help material while never taking action actually have the feeling that they are constantly improving when the reality is that they are simply chasing their own tail.

Self-improvement should be seen like any sport. First the rudiments of the discipline has to be learned followed by constant practice and occasional training lessons to learn new techniques and correct any faulty habits that may have been acquired along the way.

And, like in our sport analogy, the emphasis in self-improvement should be on the “practicing” part. Learning without doing is moot. Reading ten books on goal setting and achieving is completely worthless if the student does not set goals and strive to achieve those goals.

Back to the question, “Is Life Easier for Self-improvement Aficionados?” The answer is a non-equivocal YES. That is if there is equilibrium between the learning and the doing. The problem is that the “doing” or “taking action” part is a lot harder than the learning section.

A person could spend ten years reading about swimming but if that person does not get in the water and actually swim, chances are that falling off a boat would result in drowning. It is the same with self-improvement. The actual practice must follow the theory learning part or no change will come out of it.

Whatever we may have achieved so far, either good, bad or in between, is the result of small distinctions and small decisions that we have taken along the way. The better equipped and the more references that we had to assist us in making those distinctions/decisions, the more effective our choices were.

That’s where self-improvement techniques and theories can truly assist us. Those techniques and theories are the ones that were used by successful people who came before us. They are like a map that leads to success and the good life. So, when time comes to make those decisions, they are not done randomly. They follow a road that has been traveled before and known to work.

Suppose for a minute that you decided to do a parachute jump. What is the first thing that you would do? Chances are that you would try to gather as much information about parachute jumping as you could.

Well, it’s the same thing in life. We don’t get a second chance. We have to get it right on the first try. So, if I could give you the best possible advice that I can think off, it would be, “Take your self-improvement work seriously.” You’re already well into life’s parachute jump and you certainly want to get it right before you hit the ground.

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This quote by Mr. Andretti sums up the messages that can be found in most books on motivation, success or achievement. They are very powerful words that carry an essential message about the science and art of success. However in that quote and in most works treating the subject of achievement one element is blatantly missing.

The teachings of self-improvement focus intensively on attitude but it is sorely lacking on character building. Even with the best attitude in the world, true success is not attainable if there is a character flaw. It would be wrong to say that successful people share the same character traits as those who are still struggling.

To be truly effective, any work done on self-improvement should concentrate more on character building than on attitude, techniques or methods. Before it is possible to achieve, a person has to be the kind of person that can do the type of things that needs to be done in order to get whatever the person is after.

Success is more attracted than pursued. If we ask successful people how they managed to acquire their success, the answer is invariably the same. They will say that it was easy. They cannot even understand why anyone else could not do it. The reason for that is simple. These people were already successes before they became successful.

How can you be a success before you become successful? Success is above all a state of mind. A person who feel like a success will think and act like a successful person and reap the rewards. A person who simply would like to become a success probably won’t achieve more that stay at the level of an “I-would-like-to-be-a-success.”

Maxwell Maltz of psycho-cybernetic fame says, “Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment” To get the things that we want the most, the first thing that need to be done it to change the self-image. In order to do that, a fundamental change in character is required.

If we want to change the results that we get in any area of endeavor, the first thing that must be done is a change in self-image and the only way that a true change in self-image can be affected is by changing our character.

According to Stephen Covey, our character is basically a composite of our habits. So, to changes character and thus change the self-image, we must change our habits; especially change the habitual way that we perceive ourselves.

A new thinking pattern has to be created regarding the self-image. The negative self-views have to be erased from the mind and be replaced by the image of the vibrant, effective and successful person that we basically are. We were born successes; at age three we were the most important person in the world.

Sadly, as time flew by, we experienced setbacks. Instead of experiencing those setbacks as learning experiences, they were viewed as evidences of personal flaws. In many cases, the self-image suffered permanent damages.

Anyone who is serious about a life of success and achievement has to restore that winning self-image. Until that is accomplished, the best intentions and the best techniques on self-improvement are not much more than vague and ephemeral theories. We have to be… before we can do… before we can have.

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We love heroes. We love to see these people who are totally committed to a cause and who are willing to pay the price that it takes to win and achieve. We tend to believe that they are special; that they were born with special talents and the gift of greatness. Heroes are not born; they are made.

When we read the story of these so-called exceptional people, we find out that they are actually ordinary people with exceptional drive. Each and every one of them had an exceptional desire to achieve and to win. They had an unquenchable thirst to live their life to the fullest. That’s how they became what they are. Heroes.

How did that come about? What ignited that unstoppable need for achievement? The answer to that question is relatively simple. They too had their heroes. People that they admired and wanted to emulate and imitate. They too wanted the love and admiration that were given to those heroes.

They wanted that feeling of living life to the fullest; to be all that they could be. Not an unusual feeling but one that was coupled with an important catalyst that made all the difference in the world. They truly believed that if they worked hard enough they could achieve their goal. That made all the difference.

It is said that, certainty is the winner’s edge. Certainty is the spark that can turn the invisible into the visible and dream into reality. A sense of certainty is the key that will unlock and set free all of a person’s potential, motivation and determination. Nothing can stop a person who has a burning desire to achieve a specific goal and knows with certainty that the objective is within reach.

We were all born with the seed of greatness within us. We all have talents and abilities that could contribute to make this world a better place for all. This seed lies dormant, just waiting to be discovered, nurtured and exploited. It is there and we can find it if we believe that we can.

One of the reasons that this seed may be hard to find is the fact that it is buried under the debris of frustrations. At one time, we had dreams. We worked to make these dreams come true and failed. So we decided that it was futile to try. We had failed before and no doubts we would fail again. So, why risk another heartache? That’s a fatal mindset. It’s a dream killer and a life waster.

The game is not over until the final curtain falls. What we saw as past failures were actually experiences that we had to go through to prepare us for the ultimate sprint to the brass ring. No one ever makes it on the first try. Sometimes it takes five, ten and maybe more trial runs before we finally make it. Winning is not a matter of special talent or golden opportunities. It’s a matter of courage and perseverance.

Each of us was placed on Planet Earth for a unique and special reason. Deep down in our heart we know what that mission is. At one point in our life, we had a vision of what we could become and what we could achieve is we ever decided to be all that we could be. For many of us, that dream is still there and just begging to be rekindled and turned into reality.

It is never too late to choose the efforts of excellence over the pains of regret. It is never too late to finally decide to be all that we can be and become the hero that we were meant to be while keeping in mind that heroes don’t always win but they always give their best; that’s what makes them heroes.

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On May 25, 1961, President John F. Kennedy announced before a special joint session of Congress the dramatic and ambitious goal of sending an American safely to the Moon before the end of the decade. Only the construction of the Panama Canal in modern peacetime and the Manhattan Project in war were comparable in scope.

Going to the Moon had been a dream for centuries. It remained not much more than a dream until a man, John F. Kennedy, then President of the United States, made the commitment that it would be done during the next decade.

The decision to make this commitment publicly demanded an extraordinary level of courage. The honor of an entire nation was at stake. Kennedy’s legacy’s was at stake. The entire world was watching. Especially Russia.

At the time, the cold war was on. Russia and the US were competing for supremacy in the world’s opinion and in technology. Russia had already beaten the US in space travel by successfully sending Sputnik 1 in orbit. Kennedy could not afford to fail in his promise to put the first man on the Moon.

One can only guess what courage it took for JFK to make that announcement. Going to the Moon had never been done before. No one knew for certain if it was feasible or not. The technology was not yet available. There was more unknown than known. Lives were at stake. A nation’s pride was at stake. The legacy of the most prominent family in the USA was at stake. There was no room for failure.

Today, four decades later, as we ponder on those events, we cannot fail to be inspired by those lessons in courage and faith in human’s ingenuity. It also brings to mind Napoleon Hill’s famous maxim, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” Beautiful words and very lofty sentiments that may have been lost in the turmoil of everyday life.

As Tony Robbins so poignantly said in his famous book, Awaken the Giant Within, “At one time in our lives, we all had a vision for the quality of life that we desire and deserve. Yet, for many of us, those dreams have become so shrouded in the frustration and routines of daily life that we no longer even make an effort to accomplish them. For far too many, the dream has dissipated – and with it, so has the will to shape our destinies. Many have lost that sense of certainty that creates the winner’s edge.”

With every new day that is given us comes a choice. We can let ourselves be challenged by life or we can choose to challenge life. As we travel on our little journey on Planet Earth, we can choose to react to life’s circumstances or we can choose to set our own agenda. We can dream or we can take action. The choice is ours.

We can simply sit and admire the courage and integrity of the great men and women that came before us or we can step into the arena and make our dreams come true. We can stand up and be counted or join the mass that lead a life of quiet desperation.

With faith and courage, anything is possible. Those two resources are already within us waiting to be activated and used. Life is calling. Will we have the courage to respond? The quality of our life depends on the response to that question.

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The human mind is funny. Once it has accepted a belief, it will hold onto it even in the face of undisputable proof to the contrary. Not only will the mind resist to changes its long held beliefs, it will perform incredible gymnastic to modify contrary information so that it conforms to what was previously held to be true.

Critical thinking is a rare staple while listening or reading self-improvement material. The problem is that, too often, quantity supercedes quality in the scope of our studies. We try to assimilate too much too fast. When that is done, concepts that differ from our previous beliefs will be overlooked and only evidences that confirm what we already believed will be noticed.

The mind resists changes. It wants to hold onto what has sustained us in the past. With changes we start trampling in unknown territory and with that comes the possibility of pitfalls and dangers. Something that the mind abhors. So it will do whatever it can to avoid it.

There is also the fact that self-improvement goes against the grain of social-proofs. Most people will pay lip service to self-improvement techniques but that’s about as far as it will go. That is very understandable.

The self-improvement world is filled with wild and outlandish claims that can only lead to deceits. That is especially true in the land of the Law of Attraction. Self-anointed gurus will offer amazingly simple formulas that promise to take the believer to seventh heaven overnight. Of course such techniques, though they may be based on partial truths, are bound to deceive and shed a bad light on the self-improvement world.

The major problem that we face in self-growth is not found in learning something new. The problem is getting rid of previously held notions and beliefs. Those are so deeply entrenched in our psyche that we find it very hard, if not impossible, to challenge their validity.

The mind feels that our views of the world have kept us relatively safe so far so it has no reason to change. We’ve already experienced the result of our mindset and we’ve been able to deal adequately with it so, why change and risk greater challenges in the process.

So, in a nutshell, self-growth’s worst enemies are: the innate resistance that we have to challenge and change our beliefs and the propensity to try to achieve overnight transformation.

Self-growth requires more critical thinking than it does acquiring new information. Until it is digested and thoroughly assimilated, new information is worthless. Critical thinking and soul searching is essential before any new concept can be assimilated and integrated.

That is not a process that can be rushed or drowned in a sea of information. It is a slow and gradual process where we are at the same time the teacher and the artisan of our own changes. Not an easy feat to accomplish since we are our own worst enemy.

Intellectual, spiritual and emotional self-growth requires patient and relentless efforts. To think otherwise is to fool ourselves. However the efforts that we invest in ourselves are by far the most rewarding that anyone could ever find. The quality of every aspect of our life depends on it.

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Planning a life is an ongoing process that has to evolve as it adapts to fluctuating circumstances. It would be impossible to sit down and create a realistic and effective entire life’s plan. There are too many unknown and imponderables. Life’s plans are done the way that the design for a cruise ship would be created. The outer shell is conceived then it is filled with the necessary amenities.

That “outer shell” has to do with generalities about the overall project. Those generalities include the answers to two fundamental questions. The first is, what makes me feel good and the next question is how can I best and most consistently achieve that feeling.

Whether we are aware of it or not, everything that we do in life is done in an effort to have as much pleasure and as little pain as possible. So, we really need to know what will bring as much pleasure as possible. Usually it has to do with personal values or with what gives us a sense of significance.

For some, security might be the primal value and what would provide the best overall sense of serenity and contentment. Others may need adventure to get the same feeling. In other cases, a sense of significance is what would provide the deepest satisfaction.

We are all different in the way that the sense of feeling good is achieved but we are united in our quest to attain that feeling. So, in designing our life’s plan, we must start with getting clear on what makes us feel good and how it can be achieved.

The person who gets satisfaction out of personal security might decide to become an accountant while the one who needs adventure to feel good might become an entrepreneur and the one who craves significance might go for public service. What’s important is to find a career choice through which our need for self-expression and self-satisfaction are met.

Once we have found the vehicle or career that can best provide the elements that are essential to our overall joie-de-vivre, the life’s plan is pursued by going to the specifics that will furnish that vehicle. Just like in our cruise ship analogy, once the containing shell is designed, it has to be furnished with the compartments necessary to satisfy specific needs.

As a ship would need resting areas, places for entertainment and eating facilities, our life’s plan will need, among others, some place for self-growth, leisure time and means of self-expression. Each of these elements will need its own sub-life’s plan.

Designing a life is a perpetually ongoing process that has to be adapted to changing and evolving personal needs, tastes and conditions. It is something that has to be constantly reviewed and revised. For that reason, a Personal Planner should be used. With the Planner it is easy to setup a specific place for each different topic which will allow major changes without upsetting the overall plan.

The hardest part about designing a life’s plan is to get started. The scope is so large and the implications so daunting as to be intimidating. That’s not a good reason to ignore the exercise. It has to be done and it must be done. Once started, as we translate our thoughts into words, clarity starts to appear. The first few rough drafts may need to be discarded and started over again but very soon a plan that fits like a kid glove will appear. The hardest part is done and over with. All that is now needed is occasional updates, additions or adjustments.

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To some extent, our level of self-esteem depends on the way that we were raised. If we were lucky enough to have parents who supported us in a positive way, chances are that we already have a fair degree of self-esteem, but if that was not the case, all is not lost. Some people were raised in difficult surroundings and were able to acquire an excellent degree of self-esteem.

There are many ways that we can raise our level of self-esteem and one of them is by choosing wisely the barometer by which we gauge our self-worth. Money, education, personal appearance and social status are often used as the measuring criterion of a person’s self-worth. That’s a losing proposition.

A person’s character is the only true yardstick by which self-worth can effectively and realistically be measured. How much money we have, our place in society, our education or personal appearance has little to do with the true value of a person. It is whom we are and not what we have that is the determining factor.

Insecure people tend to seek other’s approval in an effort to boost their self-esteem. The problem with that is that most people do it. Seeking someone’s approval while that person is seeking yours cannot be very accurate in the best of cases and bizarre in other cases. So, instead of seeking other’s approval it would be much more productive to actually give approval to others. That way, we are taking on the active role, we get to control the situation and we see ourselves as the leader in the interaction, which can only boost our self-esteem.

Self-esteem is above all a matter of perception. It depends on how we see our self-image and images are always given to different interpretation. It depends on what we focus on and the light that we shed on that image. It is always possible to highlight the strong points and leave the weaker ones in the background. There is nothing wrong with that and it’s an excellent way of boosting the self-esteem.

Self-esteem is not a fixed commodity. It is something that can be improved. To do so, some fundamental beliefs regarding what we identify with may have to be changed. We are not the size of our wallet. We are not our physical appearance or the side of the street that we live on. We are our values and our ethic principles. In one word, we are our character, that’s what defines us and that’s what should be used to gauge our level of self-esteem.

We are the one who gets to decide what we are worth and no one else. Chances are that we may be subjected to negative hints and innuendos from others but it must be kept in mind that these remarks say more about the owner of these opinions then it says about us.

To increase our self-esteem, first and foremost we must work on who we are. We have to hold ourselves to higher standards of character. Our character defines us and by doing so defines our level of self-esteem and self-confidence. Getting to like and appreciate ourselves has been called the ultimate seduction and that can be done by working on who we are, on our character if you will.

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Inspired by a fight between Muhammad Ali, champion of the world, and Chuck Wepner, a guy who never stood a chance against Ali, Stallone decided to write the scrip for a movie. Stallone, dead broke at the time, wrote the entire script in twenty-six hours using a Bic pen. As he wrote the script he decided that, no matter what, he would be the one who would play the leading role in the movie.

At a time when he did not know where his next meal would be coming from, Stallone was offered up to $325,000 for the script so long as he agreed to not star in it. The producers wanted Ryan O’Neil to be the leading actor. Stallone refused. He would be Rocky or the film would not be made. It was finally agreed that he could have the part but they would only pay him $35,000.

When Stallone refused the offer of over three hundred thousand dollars he was so broke that he had to sell his dog, Butkus, for $15.00 because he could no longer afford to feed him. He loved that dog so much that upon receiving the $35,000 for the script, he bought it back for $15,000. It says something about the character of the man.

The rest is history. The film was made for one million dollars, made $117,200,000 and won three Oscars, including Best Picture. Stallone became a huge star and arguably an American icon. All of that because of an infallible determination.

Few people have achieved Stallone’s level of success because few people have been able to show such a level of determination. A dream is a dream because it seems to be unattainable. The catalyst needed to turn the invisible into the visible is determination.

If determination is so important, how then can we inspire ourselves to get it? There are two different techniques that can be used. They are, the compelling future technique and the pain/pleasure principle.

The compelling future technique consists of vividly creating in our mind the kind of future that we would have if our dream ever came through. We must be able to know how it would really feel to actually live that dream. That is what great achievers do. Even before the first step is taken to turn their dream into reality, they know what it will feel like when it is completed. If the desire to live that projected reality is great enough, nothing will stand in the way of its achievement.

The pain/pleasure principle consists of attaching so much pain to not realizing the project and attaching so much pleasure to seeing it attained that it really leaves no other option then that of pushing the project until it is completed.

The aphorism, “No pain, no gain.” takes on its full signification when it comes to great achievements. The effort required to turn a dream into reality is directly proportional to the scope of the dream. Wishful thinking never accomplished anything.

Benjamin Disraeli said, “Nothing can resist a will which will stake even existence upon its fulfillment.” It is possible to succeed even if there is a lack of resources so long as there is resourcefulness. It is possible to succeed in spite of a lack of expertise so long as there is someone somewhere who can supply the know how necessary. It is possible to succeed where no one has done it before. But it is impossible to succeed when there is no determination.

With enough determination, no mountain is too high and no dragon is too fierce. It is the human element that no force can resist.

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