Every moment that we are awake, the little chatterbox in our mind is active. It’s a bit like a radio that cannot be shut off and, just like a radio; we have many different stations that we can tune in. Some of these stations are upbeat and uplifting while others are filled with gloom and doom and altogether very depressing.

There is however a major difference between our little chatterbox and a radio. The chatterbox is interactive. If we wish, we can participate in the conversation that goes on.

The importance of that chatterbox is the fact it controls our feelings and the way that we see life. It also controls our state of mind, which in turn controls the level of our performances. Given these facts, it becomes evident that we should do everything in our power to maximize the quality of what comes out of this all-important chatterbox.

The best way to do that is by tuning into the channel that focuses on our life’s purpose. Of course, if it’s not already done, we have to begin by defining what that life’s purpose is all about. The first step to get to know what that purpose is would be to ask the question, “What is most important for me?”

At first sight, it seems to be an awesome question with no evident answers. However, after some reflection it becomes quite evident that what we want the most and what is most important is to feel good. Of course, that answer will bring up another question, which is, “What makes me feel good?”

Now, that is the primordial question and one that will bring a different answer depending on the individual’s values. For some, it might be personal growth. For others, it might be pursuing a cause that is larger than they are. The answers will vary depending on the individual but what is truly important is finding the answer to that question. The quality of our life depends on it.

The reason that it is so important is that we have two choices in life. We can either run away from something that we fear or run toward something that we want. Either way, we’ll be running. There is no standing still in life.

Without a purpose to run toward, we’ll be running away from fears. There is no shortage of those. They are like a pack of wolves howling at the moon. We can either listen to those scary sounds or listen to the sweet music of accomplishment.

By being invested in a purpose that is big enough, noble enough and grand enough, there will be little place in our lives for fears and other negativities. We cannot focus on two different topics at the same time. Either our eyes are staring at the stars or they’ll be glazing at the abyss.

Helen Keller said it best, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Either we stand for something or we mean nothing. Either we have a purpose in life or life will use us to serve its purpose. Either we create and grow or we vegetate and wallow.

Life is too important to be wasted. To live it to the utmost, a purpose is needed. A purpose around which we can wrap all the other elements in our life and see it all shine gloriously as it creates the statement that we were born to be.

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Being positive does not mean shunning reality. It means expecting and knowing that there is a solution to your problems and that you’ll find it, work it and solve the problem or problems. It also means having faith and confidence in your resources, having faith in the future and not being stuck on dwelling about everything that is going wrong in the world.

The fact that you are positive does not mean that you cannot get angry once in a while. Sometimes the energy that anger provides is necessary. That is especially the case when you’ve reached the threshold of tolerance.

If you’re overweight and eating your way to an early grave, it’s OK to get angry and say, “That’s it. I’ve had it. This is not me; I’m smarter and more disciplined than that. From this day on, things are going to change.” Saying that and meaning it while angry is not being negative. You are simply using one more resource at your disposal to get things done.

There is no such thing as a bad emotion or a negative emotion. Emotions are negative only when used in a disempowering way. They all have their utility and they all can be empowering. Emotions are neutral. It’s the way that they are used that can either be positive and negative.

That being said, it’s now time to get into the nitty-gritty of what is meant by “being positive.” There is one element that is absolutely essential to be positive. That is the fact that action must follow reflection. Faith without work is dead and being positive without taking action is being delusional.

If you’re positive that you can make it to first base before the ball gets there and you stay at home-plate, you’re not positive. You’re being silly. It’s the same for everyday occurrences. If you are positive that a situation or a problem will be solved and you don’t actually take action to solve it, you’re worst than being negative. You’re kidding yourself.

To be truly positive, action has to follow thoughts. That’s the true test of a positive attitude. It’s also where talk about being positive can actually be truly negative. People who put faith in the positive attitude and do not include action in the process are not actually helping themselves. They are actually hurting themselves.

Simply being positive by itself has never helped anyone. We see them all the time, the eternal optimists who positively believe that some day, their ship will come home. The ship will not come home if you did not put one in the water in the first place.

The term, positive attitude, may be the greatest thing since sliced bread but it will not do much for anyone if it’s not fully understood and used the way that it should. Sliced bread will not be of much use if it stays in the bag and a positive attitude will not help if it’s not coupled with action.

A positive attitude can be a tremendous tool for achievement and for successful living. It can also be a way of hiding the head in the sand. It can be an explosive force so long as it has a detonating device. That device is called, action. With a positive attitude and some corresponding action, almost anything is possible. When we separate these two elements, life gets to be hard… real hard.

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These are but a few of the ways that security is sought. The need for security is a powerful motivator. It can lead people to do great things as it can lead others to self-destruct by hiding into drug abuse and alcoholism. There are no fail-safe methods of acquiring security but there is one that stands head and shoulders above the others. But, first, let’s have a look at the nature of fear.

First and foremost, fear is a sense of inadequacy in front of an impending real or imaginary situation. It is the sense that if such or such a situation was to materialize, our current resources would be inadequate to meet the challenge and we would somehow be hurt or even completely destroyed.

Most of the times, when under the grip of fear, the consequences of the impending danger are greatly exaggerated. The reason for that is the fact that fear has a disempowering effect that can lead to near-paralysis which cut us off from being able to use the resources at our disposal. A situation that can only acerbate even further the feeling of helplessness, which in turn creates a greater fear.

It must also be noted that fear is an emotion that is pervasive to the point of being contagious. When under the grip of fear, the person will be much more susceptible to be affected by whatever hold any seemingly dangerous connotation. Fear could be said to be a self-stroking emotion. That is, it will feed on itself to create an even greater fear.

How then can we best protect ourselves from this nefarious emotion? The answer to this question can be found by using a little logic. If fear is the product of a sense of inadequacy the antidote or solution would be more self-confidence.

A person with a high degree of self-confidence will only become fearful when facing real, eminent and immediate danger. Something that is a rather rare occurrence under normal conditions. With self-confidence, a person feels in control of most conditions therefore, there is no need or reason to be fearful.

So, if the remedy against fear is more self-confidence, the question that begs to be asked is, “How do we acquire more self-confidence?” Once again, logic gives us an answer to that question.

We are more confident when we feel that we have more resources and the only way that we can have more resource is by working on improving ourselves every day of our life. If we consciously work on improving ourselves everyday of our life, we cannot escape the feeling that we are getting smarter, stronger and better equipped to face life’s vagaries as time goes on. The result of which is more self-confidence and less fear.

That may be a long-term solution but it is a highly effective and lasting one against the specter of fear. For some, fear is a major problem affecting every day of their life. For others, it may be a periodic recurring but highly annoying state of affair. In either case, there is a bona fide solution to the problem. The solution is more self-confidence acquired through daily work on self-improvement. Not only is that the best solution, it is also the only effective solution.

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That may be a sound moral lesson to teach children; unfortunately it has nothing to do with reality. Our actions have consequences. Most of the time there will a price to pay for unacceptable behavior but there are no guaranteed that good behavior will in any way protect us against misery and heartaches.

This is in no way an indictment against a good moral lesson but it is a wakeup call to reality. If being good and nice is not a reward in itself, there are absolutely no guarantees that it will be rewarded otherwise.

Bad things can be avoided by being smart and wise and not by being good and nice. If truth were told, there is some truth to the adage that says that nice guys finish last. Now, that does need some explanation.

There is a huge difference between having and following a strong moral code and being good. A strong moral code is a trait of character whereas being good implies having a good disposition.

In a professional life, having a strong moral code is always an asset however the tendency to be overly nice and good can be a serious liability. The business world is not ruled by sentiments. It is ruled by good judgment and a sense of fairness.

With good judgment and fairness, equity rules. When sentiments rule, chaos and disruptions are bound to happen. Again, this may sound harsh but it’s the reality that we have to live with.

That being said, it must be added that, if being good is done for the sake of being good, and it does not interfere with good judgment and a sense of fairness, it can bring a tremendous sense of satisfaction and personal happiness.

It is said that no good deed will go unrewarded. That may be true and it probably is. But being good to prevent bad things from happening to us simply is not sound and mature judgment.

When bad things happen to us, and they will, it’s not a sign that we’re being punished for something bad that we did. It is just the Universe unfolding as it should. We are all part of the grand scheme of things, most of which we cannot understand. So it is not for us to pass judgment on the value of life’s vagaries and caprices.

In many cases, what seemed to be major catastrophes at the time, turnout to be blessings in disguise. We can only view events with limited lenses. It is only with hindsight that the true nature of those seemingly bad events can be disclosed.

We have limited control over our ultimate faith. Nothing that we can say or do will protect us completely from bad experiences. However, when so called “bad luck” happens, we should certainly not see that as being a form of punishment for past bad deeds. It probably has nothing to do with faults of our own.

What we can do though, is to try to learn from those regretful incidents and do whatever that we can to grow as a result the hindsight that it has given us.

Being a good and caring person has its own inherent reward. It may not prevent the bad but it will enhance the good. So, let’s live by the golden rule and hope for the best.

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That’s an awesome responsibility. The quality of our life depends on it. That book will be our final legacy. It can be a beautiful monument or the shadow of what it could have been. When, in the winter of our journey on Planet Earth, we reread that book, it can fill us with pride and satisfaction or it can be a source of regrets and misgivings.

No one knows how many pages are left in our book but there is something that we should aware off. That is the fact that the last chapters can drastically alter the tone of the entire book. It is never too late to change the course of the story presented.

In our book, just as is the case in most books that we’ve ever read, the epilogue is the most important part of the story. It does not matter what the hero of the book has done or gone through that really matter. What does really matter is what that hero eventually becomes.

A scoundrel can turn into an angel and loafer can turn into a mover and shaker. A proverbial victim of circumstances can turn into a charismatic leader and a silent spectator can turn into the parade leader.

It is our book. We are the authors. We get to choose how the story will turn out. So long as there are pages left, anything is possible. We can still write a book that we will be proud off.

Great people are not born. They are made. They are people who took control of their lives and of their destinies. They had the courage and the wherewithal to stand up and be counted. Most of what they did was not exceptional but what they did was done exceptionally well.

That is an option that is available to every one of us. We are not the result of circumstance; we are the creator of circumstances in that we get to choose what those circumstances mean to us. What is a stumbling block for one person is a stepping-stone for another.

Often we may be tempted think that we are inconsequential, unimportant, that we don’t matter much. There is no such thing as an unimportant person. Just as a butterfly that flutters its wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world, a word that we say or an action that we perform can dramatically change someone’s life or even alter the course of mankind.

Every word that we say and every gesture that we make can cause a ripple effect that will affect, positively or negatively, those that we touch. It is our book, it is our life; we get to write it. We can make it a formidable book of inspiration or a manual on ways to waste a life.

A good way to start the day is by asking ourselves the questions, “What will I write in today’s page? Will this first day of the rest of my life be an epic, world changing day, or will I spend it feeling sorry for myself?”

It is the answer to those daily questions that will determine the quality or our book and by the same token, the quality of our life. We are the authors; we get to write and to decide.

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We are never too old to expand and grow. What nature has taken away in terms of physical integrity, it has given back on the levels of experience and maturity. The playing field may have changed but the opportunities and possibilities for growth have in no way diminished.

As we grow older, our bag of tool is better equipped, our bank of references is richer and the lights of experiences have replaced the shadows of doubts and incertitude. With maturity come opportunities.

Personal growth is above all a state of mind. The inquisitive mind will find the learning and growing lessons that reside in the petal of a flower, on the snowy peak of mountaintops or in the chips of computers. With the right state of mind, everything is a learning and growing lesson.

If knowledge is a function of growth and self-actualization, achievement is its expression. Knowledge without outward manifestation is moot. Knowing without using has no effect on the growing process. Wisdom without outlet and expression is like a song that no one can hear. Useless.

Personal growth also requires the domination of faith over fear. Faith fosters the necessary expression of life; fear promotes its archenemy, paralysis. Faith gives life the oxygen essential to its survival and expansion. Fear is the cold wind that freezes and paralyses the spark necessary for growth and expansion.

Faith in the future inspires and motivates. It clears doubts and shouts for action. It sustains in rough times and gives wings when the sailing is smooth. Faith is the fuel of achievements and the motor of self-expression. With faith, anything is possible, without it, life is nothing but a struggle for survival. That’s a fight that can only ends in eventual failure.

Life and growth also require the stimulating effects of the winds of changes. They need to experience the diversity of the unknown and the input of new conditions and situations. Growth and wisdom are the fruits of experience. Nothing can grow in the void. Once the juice has been sapped out of an experience, another one is needed to supply a new source of energy and inspiration.

Self-actualization requires succeeding and different challenges. Some of those challenges are graciously offered by life itself. Others are self-created. Both kinds serve a purpose but the latter are the best sources of input and wisdom.

To grow, we need to slay dragons, climb mountains and sail uncharted seas. That is where our resources are taxed to the limits; where true growth is spurred on and new and unsuspected insight flourishes. Those self-imposed challenges are the ultimate fertilizers needed to reach our full potential.

We are work in progress and so long as we remain as such, we are in life-growing mode. The moment that we decide to stop striving and start coasting, we are in deep trouble. The status quo is not an option. Either we grow or we go.

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With passion we live, without it we simply exist. Passion is the great motivator; it is the catalyst that ignites the imagination, the force that breaks doors down and the ultimate spark that brings life where none existed before. With passion we are vibrant and alive, without it we are simply marking time.

Passion is that state when the energy if fully concentrated on a specific and all-important objective. An objective that is deemed greater and more important than we are. With passion we are on a mission. With passion, failure is not an option. Passion is the one element absolutely essential to any worthwhile achievement.

Passion is an emotion that we were born with. It may be one of the first emotions that we ever felt. Anyone who has ever seen a baby cry because he was hungry will attest to that. There is no reserve there. Every once of energy is monopolized to satisfy the need for food. That’s passion in its most elementary form.

As we grew and matured into adulthood, we were taught to subdue our passion. We learned to be “reasonable.” We learned how to compromise. That may have been a necessary lesson but it may also be a lesson that was so forcefully injected that it buried the ability to feel passionate. If so, passion has to be rekindled and nurtured so that it can be reborn.

Passion is associated with the Id part of our psyche. It is part of the raw and primitive impulses of the beast that lies within us. A beast that must be tamed and controlled but not one that should squashed and destroyed. Passion controlled, is our best ally, unchecked it becomes our worst nightmare.

Passion has a deadly enemy and it’s called frustration. Frustration, if allowed to linger on, can either destroy passion or turn it into a self-destructive force. Passion and frustration can create a very toxic mixture that must never be allowed to overcome rational thinking. Either we master strong emotions or we become the their slave. Mastering those emotions is what maturity is all about.

With maturity we can turn explosive and potentially destructive passion into a rather quiet but unstoppable force. That is the passion that can be seen in the Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Barack Obama. By controlling their passion, these people were propelled to greatness. On the other hand, the headlines are filled with the sad stories of people who could not or would not control their passion and where misery ensued.

The right kind of passion can be nurtured and cultivated. That is done with practice. It is done through complete involvement and total focus. We can be passionate about almost anything. It can be done in sport, writing an article or designing and building a life. Passion, as with any other sphere of endeavor, is perfected through practice. The more we exercise it, the more adept we become.

Passion is a gift that we received at birth. It can be our greatest resource as it can be the source of our demise. It’s a resource that has to be nurtured, mastered and controlled. It holds our future in its hands. Be grateful for the gift. Learn to use and exploit it and watch wonders unfold.

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It is a fact that we have to treat most people as if they were petulant three years old toddlers. When dealing with people, kid gloves are the order of the day. But that’s not all. Not only do we have to wear kid gloves but is has to be done in a way that will not appear to be condescending. A rather tall order.

This delicate approach is best accomplished by using the you-you attitude. That is, the person that we are addressing has to be given the number one priority. That person has to be the central pivot of the of the interaction. It has to be done in a way that the major and most important player in the communication is the person we are communicating with.

The reason that is has to be done that way is that we have all the control over our own actions but we have very little control over others. We can adapt to the situation but it is next to impossible to control someone else’s behavior.

There are times when we must disagree with others. It can be done and it can be done effectively so long as we start by agreeing with some part of the other person’s views. That is an essential element if we do not want our interlocutor to go on the defensive and start justifying his position.

Someone said, “A world without euphemism would be a barbaric one.” If we want to get along with people harmoniously, sometimes the truth has to be slightly colored. This by no way implies that a person should lie but tact and diplomacy never hurt anyone and has saved many situations.

Above all, we should never fall into the trap set by someone who claims that he wants the “honest truth.” That person feels to be on safe ground and is ready an eager for a spirited debate. The ideal way to deal with this situation is to agree to tell the truth but then proceed with caution. That person does not want the truth. That person wants to hear what he or she wants to hear.

There are also times when we have to reprimand someone. It can be done without creating any ill will by using the sandwich method. That is, the reprimand has to be sandwiched between two “slices” of compliments. First, we give a compliment, then we formulate the reprimand and close the conversation with another compliment. The admonition will be just as effective and no resentment will be created.

When dealing with people it must always be kept in mind that the least offense can create a scar that will last for a lifetime. Decades down the line, people may have forgotten almost everything about you but they will not have forgotten the hurt that you may have caused them. Such is human nature.

It must always be kept in mind that, the stronger the person, the more giving that person will be and the weaker a person is, the more demanding that person will be. The secret in dealing with people is to take the strong person’s stance. The strong person can meet the weaker one at his level without feeling diminished in the process. That’s a luxury that a weaker person cannot afford.

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We all know that goals will give us direction. They will direct our focus and stimulate our enthusiasm. These are all good and lofty reasons to set goals but they are not the ultimate reason. Goals are, above anything else, a mean of self-discovery and the actualization of our deepest and truest potential.

The ultimate prize that the pursuit of goals will give us is the person that we’ve become once we have reached our objective. That gift is far greater than any materialistic or honorific compensation could ever be.

The feeling of growth and actualization should always be a part of any goal setting. That way, no attempt at reaching an objective will ever end in failure. It is impossible to invest major efforts in the pursuit of an objective without growing in the process.

Before we can reach a goal, first we must become the person who can do the deed that needs to be done in order to obtain whatever objective that we are after. A person earning $25,000 a year cannot perform at the level needed to earn $100,000 annually. So if the objective is to accede to the 100K level, first some personal growing needs to be achieved.

When everything is taken into perspective, everything that we do is done in an effort to change the way that we feel. We want to feel good. Material objects, honors and acclaims can make us feel good for a period of time but feeling good about who we are will last a lifetime. And the best way to feel good about who we are is by the satisfaction that we get when we feel that we are in a growing mode.

There is no feeling on Planet Earth like the one that we get when we see that we have reached a higher plateau on the scale of humanness. That is not done by acquiring more money, more wealth but by becoming more than we were before.

In our rush to perform and achieve we often miss the fundamental. The human factor in any endeavor. It is not what we have but who we are that really matters. Right now there are billionaires rotting in jail. These folks obviously missed the boat. They either forgot or never knew that who they are is more important than what they have.

This is not to say that material success should not be pursued. Wealth is power that can be used for the betterment of anyone and everyone. Money can be a yardstick by which progress is measured but the possession of money should never be the ultimate objective. Self-discovery and the actualization of our deepest and truest potential is.

That being said, I leave you with my favorite quote from my number one guru, Tony Robbins, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.”

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These four words represent an entire philosophy for a successful life. They mean that, if we want a successful, rewarding and interesting life, we should be in the parade and not watching the parade go by.

The only constant in life is change. Nothing stands still. Life is dynamic and not static. Yet there are those of us who, through an exercise in futility, will seek to find security in an inexistent status quo.

The, don’t make waves, don’t try anything and keep a low profile attitude is a recipe for boredom in the best case scenario and for disaster in the worst cases. Trying to stand still in life is an impossibility and can only result in frustration, regression and ultimate failure.

It is a proven fact that a ship that remains in port will rust and wear out faster than one who travels the high sea. The expression of life is action and action is the generator of life. That’s a lesson that was not lost by the happiest and most successful among us.

If we read the biographies of great men and women, we soon find out that they were creature of action. They were involved, they were engaged, they had causes, objectives, projects and goals. They were determined. They found meaningfulness, satisfaction and validation in their work and accomplishments.

Successful living, in its true sense of the word, means implication and dedication to a cause, an ideal or an objective. In order to accomplish that, uncharted roads must be traveled, dragons have to be slain and calculated chances must be taken.

As someone so wisely said, “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming… Dang, What a ride.”

Now, that could be exaggerating a little but it does express the essence of the concept. Successful living is not about watching the parade go by. It’s not even about joining the parade. Successful living is about leading the parade.

That’s what Steve Jobs was taking about in front of those newly graduates. He wanted to give these young minds the best possible advice that he could so that they would, not only commence their adult life on the right foot, but stay on the right path for the rest of their life.

To do that, he left those students with four unforgettable words, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.” Nothing else was needed. The message was concise, clear and unforgettable. A giant had spoken. Who could forget, Stay hungry. Stay foolish?

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