Giving way to despair will not help and waiting for outside help is not very promising either. In difficult situations, resolve is the best ally and a roadmap to follow the best friend.

In this case, resolve means being confident that a solution exists, that it will be found and implemented to fruition. Certainty is the winner’s edge so, there should be no doubts that there is a solution and that it can be found… and will be found.

Once that the certitude that a solution actually exists, a roadmap to follow is the next step. That roadmap is essentially a plan that can be followed to overcome the financial hardships. One essential thing about roadmaps is that it has to be a visual aid. Not some abstract notion in the brain. It has to be written down.

Every one’s roadmap will be different but they will all have many things in common. The first of which is knowing exactly where that map leads. In this case, the final destination would have to do with some sort of financial security.

The next step is a little more complex. That roadmap will travel through unknown terrains so, more than one route will have to be explored and developed. Each of these routes is actually a plan to reach the final objective or financial stability and security.

When undertaking this whole process, chances are that the creator of that plan will be almost clueless as to how the objective can be reached so a brainstorming will be required. The objective of that brainstorming is to find at least ten different possible ways to reach the objective.

At first, it could feel like a daunting task. It does not have to be. All that needs to be done is to jot down a very brief summary of ten different ways that the project could be brought to fruition.

Once that the list is complete, the most promising plan should be developed and broken down into small workable steps. If that plan seems workable, all that is needed it to implement it; if not, we simply go on to the next plan and see how it fares.

The process should be repeated until a workable plan is found and then, all that remains to be done is to implement that plan.

Since jobs are scarce, chances are very high that the solution will be some kind of entrepreneurial activities. In such cases, a lack of resource is almost always the major roadblock. Most of these can be overcome through resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness is the offspring of imagination and the hallmark of the creative mind. It would be safe to say that noting of significance would have been achieved without resourcefulness. It is the great equalizer that will allow someone of very modest means to compete with giants.

Resourcefulness is nothing more than the process of formulating the right question. The brain will always provide an answer to any question that we may ask. Sometimes the answer provided may not be suitable; in such cases the question has to be formulated differently. Sooner or later, the right question will be asked and the proper answer will be given. When that happens, the roadblock created by a lack of resources will have been removed.

To summarize, times may be challenging but they are not desperate. A solution for the problem exists and it just waiting to be found. What is needed to overcome the situation is: faith in one’s abilities, a workable plan and a lot of resourcefulness. These elements are already within you; just waiting to be discovered and implemented.

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One of the major roadblocks to self-expression is the fear of rejection. People will go to their grave with the song still in them because of that fear. Wonderful opportunities have been lost and the quality of life has been dwarfed for many because of it. The fear of rejection, in the best-case scenarios, is very annoying and in extreme cases, it’s a debilitating curse.

Before we can learn how to handle successfully the fear of rejection, we need to understand its nature. The fear of rejection is a phobia. It’s an excessive fear of something that is innocuous or harmless. It’s an exaggerated reaction toward an imaginary threat. Nothing else.

The worst that a rejection can cause is a bruised ego. Nobody ever died of a bruised ego. However, that is not what a person in the throe of the fear of rejection will perceive. Just as is the case of any phobia, the response to the threat is highly exaggerated and the fight or flight response may become be activated.

When that happens, a benign threat will be perceived as an eminent danger that could have devastating if not of deadly consequences. That’s what a person affected with the fear of rejection will feel and that’s what his reality will be. No wonder that the response takes on such a disproportionate dimensions.

Eliminating the fear of rejection is affected primarily through a desensitizing process. The possible effects of rejection must be carefully and logically scrutinized. The following questions must be carefully examined, “What will happen to me if someone manifests, in words or in action, some expression of disapproval, criticism, resentment or rejection?”

If we have to be honest and sincere about it, the worst that can follow a rejection is a bruised ego. And that is only in the cases where we will allow our ego to be affected by the incident. Words by themselves have no power to hurt us – that is, unless we allow it to be.

The more we explore the real effects of rejection, the more we understand that it has little consequences or significance. Someone does not like us or disagree with us; so what? Everyone his entitled to an opinion and we certainly don’t have to share it.

No one can rise in the social hierarchy without gathering a proportional share of people who will disagree, show unwarranted resentment and express some form of rejection. It goes with the territory. Champions, winners and mover and shakers know that and understand that it’s a very small price to pay for the life that they live and enjoy.

In the Stone Age, rejection meant that you could be excluded from the clan and left out of support and resources. This is no longer the case. In today’s world, rejection might even be seen as a sign of personal success. If you’re a nobody, no one will criticize and reject you; you’re not worth the effort. On the other hand, as you rise above the crowd, some opposition is to be expected.

No one enjoys criticism and rejection. On the other hand, incidents involving opposition have to be seen in the proper context. If someone else is on a different wavelength, it’s not necessarily a reflection on our self-worth. It takes a big person to be understanding, forgiving and tolerant. Not everyone has reach that level. So, let’s not be overly affected when we come across one of those poor souls who tries to rain on our parade. It’s not worth the time or efforts.

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Every moment that we are awake, the little chatterbox in our mind is active. It’s a bit like a radio that cannot be shut off and, just like a radio; we have many different stations that we can tune in. Some of these stations are upbeat and uplifting while others are filled with gloom and doom and altogether very depressing.

There is however a major difference between our little chatterbox and a radio. The chatterbox is interactive. If we wish, we can participate in the conversation that goes on.

The importance of that chatterbox is the fact it controls our feelings and the way that we see life. It also controls our state of mind, which in turn controls the level of our performances. Given these facts, it becomes evident that we should do everything in our power to maximize the quality of what comes out of this all-important chatterbox.

The best way to do that is by tuning into the channel that focuses on our life’s purpose. Of course, if it’s not already done, we have to begin by defining what that life’s purpose is all about. The first step to get to know what that purpose is would be to ask the question, “What is most important for me?”

At first sight, it seems to be an awesome question with no evident answers. However, after some reflection it becomes quite evident that what we want the most and what is most important is to feel good. Of course, that answer will bring up another question, which is, “What makes me feel good?”

Now, that is the primordial question and one that will bring a different answer depending on the individual’s values. For some, it might be personal growth. For others, it might be pursuing a cause that is larger than they are. The answers will vary depending on the individual but what is truly important is finding the answer to that question. The quality of our life depends on it.

The reason that it is so important is that we have two choices in life. We can either run away from something that we fear or run toward something that we want. Either way, we’ll be running. There is no standing still in life.

Without a purpose to run toward, we’ll be running away from fears. There is no shortage of those. They are like a pack of wolves howling at the moon. We can either listen to those scary sounds or listen to the sweet music of accomplishment.

By being invested in a purpose that is big enough, noble enough and grand enough, there will be little place in our lives for fears and other negativities. We cannot focus on two different topics at the same time. Either our eyes are staring at the stars or they’ll be glazing at the abyss.

Helen Keller said it best, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Either we stand for something or we mean nothing. Either we have a purpose in life or life will use us to serve its purpose. Either we create and grow or we vegetate and wallow.

Life is too important to be wasted. To live it to the utmost, a purpose is needed. A purpose around which we can wrap all the other elements in our life and see it all shine gloriously as it creates the statement that we were born to be.

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It may be hard to believe but most of us go through life literally in a hypnotic trance. That is, we have been hypnotized by outside influences into believing that life is biographical, that our past equates our future. We have been mesmerized into thinking that who and what we are is a reality that cannot be changed and that what happened to us in the past is likely to be what we’ll experience in the future.

Changing that stinking thinking is what self-improvement is all about and that is why it’s a pro-active process and not a passive one. In most cases, changing beliefs is a lot harder than learning new material. One of the reasons that it is difficult is the fact that we don’t actually assimilate what we see or hear.

Instead of assimilating messages the way they were intended to be understood, we’ll find a way of distorting the words so that they confirm what we actually believed in the first place. Having an open mind is a myth. We’ll go to almost any length to preserve our beliefs and convictions.

An example of those phenomena is seen when trying to convince someone who has an alcohol or substances problem that the habit is not good for them. They will hear the words perfectly however the message simply will not get across. Somehow, they will remain confident that what they do is not a problem.

New concepts almost always face stiff resistance. As long as we believe something, our brain operates on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for references to validate our belief, regardless of what is it.

Self-improvement implies changes. We cannot improve and remain the same. Self-improvement is not about a superficial makeover. It’s about changes in beliefs and changes in character. Until that is done, there is no self-improvement. We can hide the stripes on a Zebra but it will still be a Zebra.

True changes require a modification of the way that we see ourselves, a change of identity if you will. As an example, someone could learn everything that there is know about how to set goals and achieve those goals but very little will happen until the person sees himself as a winner and an achiever.

We behave as we perceive ourselves to be. One of the strongest and most fundamental forces that control our behavior is the need to be true to our identity. To change our behavior, our character and our thought patterns, we must change our identity. That is the aim of self-development.

Our identity is simply the beliefs that we use to define our own individuality. As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity. Shifting, changing or expanding identity can produce the most profound and rapid improvements in the quality of your life.

So, the ultimate objective of our work in self-development is to affect a change in how we perceive ourselves to be, in our identity. That can only be done by shedding the parts of that identity that does not serve us and replace them with positive and empowering beliefs. A daunting but not impossible task.

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The first of these notions is to know and realize that we all have some very personal rules on what it takes for us to feel good. That rule can be quite complex and hard to achieve or it can be very simple and easily attainable.

A person who needs ten different elements to feel good such as: perfect health, financial security, many friends, personal success at work, kids who are high achiever etc… would not feel good very often. At any one time, one of those conditions would not be fulfilled and that would prevent the sentiment of feeling good.

Let’s take someone else whose personal rule said that the only requirement to feel happy would be, to be alive and have enough to eat for the day. It would be incredibly easy for that person to feel good most of the time.

Even though we may not be aware of it, we are the one who unconsciously set up that personal rule. If the rule is simple enough and serves us well, we should keep it. On the other hand, if we find that our rule is far too complex and hard to fulfill, there is nothing to stop us from changing it for a simpler one.

There is also another technique that can be used to foster the sentiment of feeling good. It’s called, the attitude of gratitude. At any one time in our life, we have literally thousands of reasons to be grateful. Yet, those can all escape us because we are focusing one single thing that displeases us.

The attitude of gratitude consists of constantly reminding ourselves of all the things that we should be grateful for. When we do that, we actually build a bank of references of the good things that we have and of the good things that have happened to us in the past. That bank of references makes us feel that we are the fortunate and lucky ones. That somehow we are blessed and protected by the powers that control our Universe. It makes us feel special, fortunate and protected.

By concentrating on whatever it is that we are grateful for, it makes us discovers even more gifts that we were freely given and simply took for granted. It creates an aura of abundance around us that promotes the feeling that this bounty will keep on growing and expanding.

We live in a world that is defined by our own interpretation. When we focus on the good and the beautiful, that’s what our world becomes. With a little stretch of the imagination and some small efforts, we can see ourselves surrounded by amazing gifts that were graciously provided by life. When that happens, we cannot fail to feel blessed, thankful and happy.

It is said that we can be just as happy as we makeup our mind to be. Happiness and the sensation of feeling good come from the within. We create our internal world of emotions by choosing what things and events represent for us. The mountains to be climbed and the dragons to be fought can be seen as a miserable ordeals or as exhilarating adventures.

Life is what we make it out to be. It can be a vale of tears or a fantastic experience. We get to choose. We are the ultimate judge and jury. We hold in our hand the magic wand that can define how we see and interpret life and everything that it contains. That magic wand is also called the imagination. Used as it should, feeling good À la Carte is available if we so desire and are willing to put in the time and efforts.

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These are but a few of the ways that security is sought. The need for security is a powerful motivator. It can lead people to do great things as it can lead others to self-destruct by hiding into drug abuse and alcoholism. There are no fail-safe methods of acquiring security but there is one that stands head and shoulders above the others. But, first, let’s have a look at the nature of fear.

First and foremost, fear is a sense of inadequacy in front of an impending real or imaginary situation. It is the sense that if such or such a situation was to materialize, our current resources would be inadequate to meet the challenge and we would somehow be hurt or even completely destroyed.

Most of the times, when under the grip of fear, the consequences of the impending danger are greatly exaggerated. The reason for that is the fact that fear has a disempowering effect that can lead to near-paralysis which cut us off from being able to use the resources at our disposal. A situation that can only acerbate even further the feeling of helplessness, which in turn creates a greater fear.

It must also be noted that fear is an emotion that is pervasive to the point of being contagious. When under the grip of fear, the person will be much more susceptible to be affected by whatever hold any seemingly dangerous connotation. Fear could be said to be a self-stroking emotion. That is, it will feed on itself to create an even greater fear.

How then can we best protect ourselves from this nefarious emotion? The answer to this question can be found by using a little logic. If fear is the product of a sense of inadequacy the antidote or solution would be more self-confidence.

A person with a high degree of self-confidence will only become fearful when facing real, eminent and immediate danger. Something that is a rather rare occurrence under normal conditions. With self-confidence, a person feels in control of most conditions therefore, there is no need or reason to be fearful.

So, if the remedy against fear is more self-confidence, the question that begs to be asked is, “How do we acquire more self-confidence?” Once again, logic gives us an answer to that question.

We are more confident when we feel that we have more resources and the only way that we can have more resource is by working on improving ourselves every day of our life. If we consciously work on improving ourselves everyday of our life, we cannot escape the feeling that we are getting smarter, stronger and better equipped to face life’s vagaries as time goes on. The result of which is more self-confidence and less fear.

That may be a long-term solution but it is a highly effective and lasting one against the specter of fear. For some, fear is a major problem affecting every day of their life. For others, it may be a periodic recurring but highly annoying state of affair. In either case, there is a bona fide solution to the problem. The solution is more self-confidence acquired through daily work on self-improvement. Not only is that the best solution, it is also the only effective solution.

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Unfortunately, our brain is not equipped with any Anti-virus program and, everyday, we are exposed to negative thinking, parasitic notions and seriously debilitating patterns of thinking. Unless some type of regular scans and cleanups are performed, we’re in for some serious malfunction.

Rule number one to keep our computer safe from viruses is to keep away from unsavory sites. That same rule also applies to our brain. If we keep on frequenting the “wrong” crowd, we are almost certain to get infected. The GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out) principle applies to both the computer and the mind.

For the computer, as soon as we see something going a bit strange or bizarre, we initiate a virus scan. Now, it should be stressed that when we do a scan, we are cleaning our own computer and not the computer that infected us. The procedure is the same for a brain scan.

Blaming someone else because we have been infected serves no purpose. The only brain on which we have any power is our own so that’s the one that we should concentrate on. Blaming someone else for our problems is always appealing. It frees us from guilt or responsibilities but that’s all it will do. We are still stuck with the problem.

A personal brain scan is done by asking ourselves questions. We must find out what we could have done differently to avoid the problematic situation. This has nothing to do with accepting blame for the situation but it has everything to do about learning from an undesirable situation.

We learn and grow mostly through trials and errors. When the time comes for a personal brain scan, the trial part is already over. Now, what remains to be done is to learn from that situation and make sure that we don’t fall in the same trap ever again.

We spend most of our life interacting in a less than perfect world so we are bound to be influenced by negative views and skewed thinking. This can be negated by regularly spending quality time doing some reading or viewing inspirational material. But, once a while, we’ll fall in a rut that needs more drastic measures.

That’s when an indebt personal scan is needed. That’s when we need to take a serious look at ourselves and see what’s working for us and what’s not working. We need a reality check. Tough questions must be asked and commitments must be taken.

In today’s world, being good is simply not enough. If we want to grow, advance and succeed, we must be outstanding. That simply cannot be done with a brain that is cluttered with negativities and self-sabotaging patterns.

Winners have what losers don’t because winner will do the things that losers won’t. Winners know that the path to success requires rational and quality thinking and judicious decisions taking. Something that simply cannot be done with a mind that is infected with unproductive or destructive elements.

The mind, just like a computer, will perform well when it is well taken care off. That’s why regular scanning are absolutely essential for both. You might want to think about that next time you scan your beloved PC. Why not do both at the same time?

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We need consistency to establish some certainty and order in our world. What we don’t need is rigid consistency where everything becomes so familiar and so automatic that we go through life half asleep, half hypnotized and simply reacting to outside stimulus or the time of day.

Consistency is a power tool and like powerful tool it can be used to enhance the quality of our life as it can be used to stifle it. When consistency is used with discernment, it can be most helpful however when it turns into rigidity, it becomes one of our worst nightmares.

Gerald Burrill said, “The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.” It could also be said that the difference between living and existing is awareness. Living is proactively interacting with a diversity of events and situations; it is seeking personal growth while chasing dreams, enjoying successes and learning from failure.

A Zombie’s existence where outside influences dictate the course of our responses and actions is not living; it is surviving. Going automatically through the same patterns over and over again half asleep is far from savoring the joys of living. It is simply a prelude to burial time.

The more refined a machine or a living being is, the more options it has. The dinosaurs, in term of machines or humans, had very few options. With growth come more refinements, which in turn provide greater flexibility. Flexibility then provides more options available to taste a larger spectrum of life’s experiences. Something that is rendered moot by rigid consistency.

The only constant in life is changes. Nothing stands still, nothing stands forever. As technology and the sciences advance at an ever-increasing rate, man needs to adapt or fall by the wayside. Consistency is getting to be more and more obsolete. Time marches on and so must we.

Even our core values and fundamental beliefs have to be questioned. Those are not dogmas fixed for eternity. What was true yesterday no longer stands. A new reality is being created every instant. To stand in, witness and participate in that ever-changing reality we must evolve, change and grow.

For many, changes are scary. This is especially true as people get older. Children love changes. They are always ready to experiment and try something new. It is said that getting old is a matter of rigidity; the ultimate rigidity being rigor mortis. So if consistency is on the way out and changes become the order of the day, we must rekindle that acceptance and love of changes that we had as children.

We still need consistency to establish some stability and certainty in our world and in our life. However that consistency will have to be dynamic and not static. As the Eagle can maintain consistency in flight and nature can have consistency in its eternal change, man has to find his consistency in his potential to adapt and change.

Just as a rock used to be a rock and a drop of water used to be water and now both are nothing but energy, man’s needed and wanted consistency is no longer stable and static but changing, flowing and adapting. There are no longer other realities – but this also will change.

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The science of physic has shown us how to overcome personal stagnation. When the internal force is greater than the restraining resistance, that internal force will break through and express itself. When we apply this rule to our Personal Power, it means that if the motivation is greater than the restraining fears, action is inevitable.

That being said, the question that begs to be ask is, “What is the best possible way of increasing our motivation?” Napoleon Hill, in his book, Think and Grow Rich, gives us a clue when he talks about sexual transmutation or how to use the sexual drive for greater achievements.

One of the greatest aphrodisiac is success. That impulse was implanted in our genes at the dawn of the evolutionary process. Success meant ascension in the hierarchy of the clan and with it came a better choice in the gene pool. Those who were near the top of the hierarchy had first choice among the most desirable mates and those who were lower on the scale had to settle for what was available.

That impulse is still with us today and it can still be used in a most productive and motivating way. Success is a tremendous aphrodisiac albeit, not a conscious one since it is genetically linked. To become truly effective, that genetically linked power of attraction must be consciously explored and exploited.

By associating success to its power of sexual attraction, the desire to succeed becomes highly enhanced and creates an explosive source of motivation. Who would not be highly motivated by the thought of becoming more sexually appealing?

The type of sex appeal that we are talking about here is known more commonly as charisma; a term that has the same connotation but that is non-threatening. Emancipated people will readily admit that charismatic is sexy and those same people will unabashedly admit that they would do just about anything to be as sexually attractive as possible. Nothing wrong with that.

Evidently, what we are talking about here is the power that being sexually attractive provides and not the misuse of that power. This is about Personal Power, motivation and success. It has absolutely nothing to do with philandering, lack of integrity or lack of morality.

The search for sexual attraction, charisma or whatever you want to call it takes many forms. It goes from cosmetic surgeries to display of wealth and from tanning salons to crash diets and on to murderous pace in the gym. However, there is only one way that it can be used as high octane for Personal Power. That is done by taking note of the fact that success, in all of its forms, is actually one of the most potent aphrodisiac under the sun.

With that in mind, the quest for success becomes its own motivator. Success brings charisma and charisma brings success. It’s the self-stroking duo that generates enough energy, enthusiasm and motivation to break down the barriers of procrastination. With procrastination out of the way, Personal Power, or the ability to take action, is finally loose and success is just a breath away.

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There are two main forces controlling every action that we take and every decision that we make. The first is “the pain/pleasure instinct.” Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.

The pain/pleasure principle does not mean that we are on a constant pursuit of pleasure. What is does mean is that when two or more options are opened, one of those option will seems to be more enjoyable (or less painful) than the others and that is the option that we will naturally choose.

There are also times when a more difficult option will be chosen because there are promises of greater pleasure in the future. That would be the case of a young man who would choose to save his money to buy a car later on. Not spending the money right away is not the most pleasurable option at the moment but that option is overridden by the expectation of a much greater pleasure in the future.

The other main driving force that directs our behavior is the need to conform to our identity. We all act consistently with our views of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not. The reason is that one of the strongest forces in the human organism is the need for consistency.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz of Psycho-cybernetic fame said, “The “self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior.” We always perform as we perceive ourselves to be. Going against our perceived identity would be like going our fundamental beliefs. Something that can happen in very rare and special occasions but certainly not the usual norm.

Now that we know what forces direct out lives, we have a clue as to how we can improve our willpower and self-control. What we need to do to improve our performance on self-control is to work with the mechanisms that direct our behavior, the pain-pleasure mechanism and the self-image or perceived identity.

We have to attach so much pleasure to following our chosen course of action and so much pain to not doing it that it will become impossible for us not to accomplish what we set out to do. On top of that, if need be, we must actually change the way that we perceive ourselves to be.

As an example, let us take the case of someone who finds it very difficult to maintain his ideal weight. To maintain the resolution to stay at a certain weight the person needs to attach so much pain to any weight increase and so much pleasure to maintaining the ideal weight that it becomes almost impossible to break the resolve.

To strengthen the resolve even more, the person can include in his self-image that being thin and in shape is who he truly is and being at the mercy of overeating is something that he is not.

By using the mechanisms of the pain/pleasure instinct and the directing guide of the self-image, will power is practically no longer needed. We all know that willpower can be very effective for short term resolves but when it comes to long-term commitments, success is far from being certain.

The best way to increase the effectiveness of willpower and self-control is by directing our life in a way that they are only needed for short-term implications. For the long-term commitments, the pain/pleasure instinct and self-image mechanism will do a very effective job. Doing what we like and respecting the self-image is always easy to do. That should be a no-brainer.

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