First it must be understood that the personal image is not primarily addressed to the left brain logic but to the right brain emotions. We feel a person’s image much more than we coldly analyze it. A person is “seen” with the heart and not with the brain.

It must also be remembered that our interpretation of a personal images is determined by what is called an “a priori.” An a priori is a deduction made from past observations and conclusion. In other words, we evaluate what a person’s image means to us by automatically comparing it to our previous experience of similar images.

As and example, most people would see a chubby person as being jovial and easy going. Such a conclusion is not based on facts but on previous experience and popular notions. An image is exactly what it says, it’s an image and not a reality so it can be rebuilt, modified and enhanced to our advantage.

When working on the personal image, the first consideration must be the target of the intended image. What will appeal to teenagers will be vastly different than if the business or professional world is targeted. The rock star image will go quite well with teenagers while Donald Trump will be more fitting in the business or professional world.

The image presented will be perceived mostly by the senses and it must appeal to what’s needed and wanted by your targeted community. That is, if you are a businessman, you must look like a prosperous businessman who does not have a care in the world, talk the part and walk it. However, if you are in the community service you cannot afford to go around in a Rolls Royce wearing $3,000 suits. The image must fit the community.

The best role models for the personal image are the people who are successful in your field. These people should be studied, copied and emulated as much as possible.

The personal image is the tribune upon which a person stands to deliver his message. It is the lens through which a person is judged, cataloged and perceived. It is the “you” that the world see, accept, reject or ignore. It is your personal brand for all to see. A lot of your successes and failures depend on it. So, treat it well, improve it as much as possible but don’t get bent out of shape if it happens to be rejected by some.

You can’t please everyone every time. So, don’t overlook the positive many for the negative few. Create the best possible personal image and wear it proudly. It’s your personal trademark for all to see so make it a good one.

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Ringer maintains that intimidation is one of the best way to get ahead in business or in our professional life. At first glance, we may be repulsed by the idea, but it does have its merits.

It is a well known fact that that in order to succeed in the professional world we must be able to push our agenda and have our ideas implemented. To be a success one must show leadership and have the ability to convince others. And, one of the tools to accomplish that is through intimidation.

The word intimidation has a very pejorative connotation. It should not necessarily be so. A new understanding of the implication of the word intimidation is needed.

Intimidation does not necessarily implies brute force. We can intimidate people in a very subtle way. The way that we dress, the way that we talk, our position in life, the titles that we have or the friends and contacts that we have can all be forms of intimidation.

To put it more succinctly, the image that we project can be a form of intimidation and that intimidation can be used to influence people.

Danielle, my life’s companion, is a very successful realtor. She has a professional discourse, she wears classic and expensive clothes, her appearance is always immaculate and she drives an expensive car. To top is all off, she’s always cheerful and wears a permanent smile. Thanks to that, when she walks in a room people notice and when she talks, people listen. No wonder she’s successful. She’s successful because she intimidate people but she does it in a way that is subtle and not aggressive.

That, in one word, is how we can win through intimidation. Not by being a bully but by giving a good and remarkable impression. By having a personal image that is above average and outstanding.

Winning through intimidation means enhancing our God given attributes in a positive way. It mean cultivating the image of a competent and successful professional. It mean presenting ourselves like a competent and self-assured person. Like someone who has self-respect and who also has the ability to respect others.

Throughout history leaders have used intimidation in a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) way to accede and maintain their status. It’s a lesson that we can learn and use to our advantage. Intimidation works if we learn how to use it in an intelligent way but it can also destroy if used carelessly.

Intimidation is a fact of life. We experience it every day. May as well learn about it and use it to our advantage. It’s a powerful tool and one that has to be used carefully but once it’s mastered and handled skillfully it will work wonders.

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Material success does not imply a successful, meaningful and rewarding life. Personal development does include all these factor plus the ability to perform on a higher level intellectually, morally and spiritually.

Personal development does not aim primarily at learning techniques and concepts that will permit a more productive performance. Its main objective is improving the character so that the person will accede to higher plateaus on the scale of overall quality.

Character is the sum total of the individual’s personality. It is the result of all past experiences and of all the factors that have influenced the person plus the genetically inherited traits.

Character is who we have become and Personal Development is the tool necessary to change who we are into who we aspire to be. The fundamental mission of Personal Development is self-transformation which is much more than simply acquiring information and knowledge. That is why Personal Development should be seen as a lifelong discipline and not as an occasional exercise.

A distinction should be made between Motivational Material and Personal Development. Motivational material seek to give a burst of energy and creativity but no lasting changes are expected. However with Personal Development, little, if any, boost will be given and little lasting changes can be expected from even the most intense seminars or discipline.

Personal Development is a long and slow process. It seeks a positive and lasting transformation of the individual also known as enlightenment. The enlightened person has access to a different reality and will see the world through an entirely different set of lenses. Life is then lived on a superior plateau. The external reality remains the same but the experience of it is entirely transformed.

Personal Development is done through a continual and constant work on the self that could be compared to body building. No matter how intense and individual session is, no perceivable change is affected but through constant repetitions and efforts, the desired state will be achieved. Personal Development does not seek to put makeup on the psyche but to alter its functioning.

Personal Development is not an event, it’s a process. Personal Development does not only modifies the behavior, it changes the person. That is, it will do it if the process of Personal Development is understood as it should be and practiced as it should be. One day at the time for a lifetime.

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Reading a PD book, and doing it well, requires as much time and effort as it does to write one. It is not something that can be done in a week or a month, it takes years.

The reason that it is so complex is that the important points in the book must be assimilated into our brain and nervous system in such a way that they become automatic reflexes that will spring into action of their own volition when these points need to be applied.

Reading a PD book is somewhat like reading a book on techniques for a particular sport. Knowing how to do it is useless unless the technique is applied automatically when the time comes. Take a book on the techniques of golf for example. Knowing the perfect way to swing the clubs is useless unless it is so well impregnated into the nervous system that it will be executed perfectly when the time comes.

Reading a PD book is also like prospecting for gold. Every bit of material must be carefully examined to find those small nuggets that will enrich our lives. It is not a process that can be rushed or done absentmindedly. Pearls of wisdom, like nuggets of gold, come in small packets so they can easily be overlooked.

Once found, these pearls of wisdom must be thoroughly assimilated. Assimilated information is more than knowledge. It becomes part of our unconscious thinking process and will automatically surface at the appropriate time.

The assimilation process is done through experiencing the particular content in various ways. As an example, let us say that you want to assimilate the win-win theory that say that when affecting a transaction, the ideal end result would be that both parties come out winners.

The first thing that you could do is to write down the words, “win-win” where it can be seen many times during the day. Then you could write down the places in your life that the principle could apply. You could talk to your friends about the win-win theory and maybe even write a short essay on it. First thing that you will know, that theory will be part of who you are and will spring up automatically when needed.

People have spent their entire life studying the bible. I believe that some PD books deserve the same treatment. Personally I have been working on Anthony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within for over two decades and I have done almost the same for Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. These books were read dozens and dozens of times. I have highlighted the important passages then transcribed those passages in Word.doc to be included in my Palm for quick references. These books have become part of my daily experiences.

Studying a book that way does require time and efforts but the investment is more than well worth it. It affects the quality of our life by literally changing who we are. The saying says, “No pain, no gain.” That could sum up the ideal technique to read a PD book. Put in the time and efforts and reap the rewards.

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Life truly is a gift. It’s by far the most important gift of all. Sadly, it is not always seen that way. Many of us have a scenario depicting exactly what life should be and if the scenario does not unfold according to plans, depression, sadness, resentment and a sense of failure ensues.

Does that mean that we should not have goals and objective or that we should not strive to improve our condition? Certainly not. One of the most fundamental tenet of life says that we either expand and grow or we wither and perish. There is no standing still or status quo in nature.

The gift of life comes with a price and that is the responsibility of striving to make the most of what has been given us by doing everything possible to become all that we can be so that we can contribute as much as we can.

There is nothing new under the sun. No matter what it is that we want to achieve, someone has already done it before. If we seek personal happiness, all that we have to do is to look at the people who already have achieved that objective, observe how they did it and emulate them.

I have known many very happy people and I have read the biographies of many more. All these people had one trait in common, they saw life as a game. You win some and you lose some but the ratio of wins and loses is proportional to the efforts that the players put into the game.

Happy people also know that you learn more from your loses than you do in the cases where you have won. They take the view that there is no such thing as failure, only logical outcomes. Either we come out with the prize or with new and accrued experience.
Losing a battle does not mean losing the war.

Happiness is the result of the correct application of specific rules. We should start out with an attitude of gratitude for all that has been given us. Accept the fact that life is an unpredictable adventure that will not always go according to plans and that when it does not, the best recourse is to adapt, change strategy and keep forging ahead.

Biologically, the purpose of life is to sustain life. That’s the fundamental reason that evolution has been successful. We are part of that evolutional process. Our role in it is to become all that we can be so that we can contribute as much as we can. If, we understand that process and live accordingly, personal happiness and personal satisfaction is the ultimate reward.

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First, it must be understood that without respect, communication is impossible and without communication there cannot be improvement in any situation. Without respect, the law of the jungle predominate. Lack of respect can only diminish the status of man and can only serve to appease raw emotions.

Lack of respect can only foster discord and aggravate an undesirable condition or situation. History has shown that the greatest leaders were the ones who showed respect for their enemies. They had different views on world’s affair but they still accorded respect and human dignity to those they disagreed with.

We are all members of the human race. To demean one of us is to demean all of us and to demean ourselves in the process.

Above all, respect means allowing the space for an individual to be what he is so long as it does not infringe on others right. It does not mean that we share and agree with other’s opinions. But that we respect their right to have those opinion.

Without mutual respect, we fall into primitive barbarism. It is a throwback to the stone age. Our self-worth is directly proportional to the respect that give others.

Frank Barron, the internationally known UC Berkeley scholar said, “Never take a person’s dignity: it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you.” That, I believe, says it all.

To take away someone’s dignity is the ultimate show of disrespect. It says more about the person doing it than it says about the subject of that affront.

Disrespect only shows up when the necessary elements are not available to refute someone’s position or actions. Not necessarily the hallmark of culture or of a well garnished intellect.

We, and we alone, get to decide if we are big enough and mature enough to show respect. We and we alone get to decide if we are moving toward enlightenment or the laws of the jungle. We and we alone get to decide whether to show strength and wisdom or some of the more basic instincts of man. We get to decide our level of maturity by choosing respectful dialog over hateful condemnation.

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An hypothesis, as defined by Webster is a tentative assumption made in order to draw out and test its logical or empirical consequences. In other words, it’s a possible solution to the problem implied in the question that we have asked the brain.

On the other hand, success is the result of solving the problems that have to be surmounted in order to achieve the objective. So, if we want to succeed, the first thing that should be done is to ask the brain how to solve those problem and then, all that has to be done is to implement the solutions that the brain has given us.

The procedure is effective if, and that is a big if… we ask the right question. The difference between success and failure is the difference between asking the pertinent or right question and asking a misleading question.

Suppose you ask the brain, “How come I’m not rich?” The brain could answer, “It’s because you’re stupid.” That’s the type of answer that the brain could give out when the formulation of the question is simply wrong.

If that same person had asked, “How can I become rich?” The brain would have come up with helpful answers that would steer the person in the right direction. As previously said, those answers would be hypothesis that could be tested out to see if they were valid or not. And, if they proved to be invalid or inadequate, other suggestions from the brain could then be tested out and the procedure continued until the right solution eventually comes up.

Basically, success implies overcoming a lack of resource. If we had everything needed to achieve our objective it would not be a challenge but a simple task that had to be performed until the desired outcome had been achieved. But, true success signifies that obstacles, or lack of resources, has been overcome through resourcefulness and resourcefulness lies in the realm of the unknown. The unknown that has to become known through the utilization of questions.

It all boils down to a basic equation. But one that we tend to forget too often. If we want to know something, we ask. When we ask, the brain will supply answers. Some are valid, some are not. Our job then becomes the testing of those answers (or hypothesis) to see what works and what does not. If we keep on following this path, sooner or later the ideal solution to our problem will come up and the way to success will have been cleared once again. It certainly is better than beating our head against the wall wondering, what should I do next.

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A rapport is established when there is mutual acceptance and willingness in the part of the parties involved to reach an acceptable conclusion on a specific matter. So long as this rapport is not reached, talk is a useless waste of time.

Dale Carnegie said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” If there is not a mutual desire to reach a consensus, none will be reached. And, the only way to reach this mutual consensus is by establishing a rapport first.

The first step in establishing a rapport is to get on a mutual mindset. Both parties have to be on the same wavelength. A bit like two people dancing. One can’t be doing the tango when the other one is waltzing. Also, like dancing, one of the partners has to lead and the other follows.

It is the responsibility of the person who is trying to do the convincing to take the necessary steps to reach the person being convinced. That is best done by reflecting both, the body posture and language used, by the person being convinced. That is, if I was trying to build a rapport with you, I would stand the way that you do and I would use a tone and form of language that is similar to yours.

The next step is to be careful not to make the other person wrong. Fist, we must seem to agree. There is always some minor point on which both parties can agree on, and that is where the communication should start.

Third, we have to propose a win-win situation. If both parties cannot come out of the communication as winners, no lasting gain will have been achieved.

At all time, there should be respect and acceptance by the person initiating the rapport. If these two elements are not present it will be felt in the body language and no true bonding will occur.

It should also be kept in mind that words have different connotations and different meanings for different people and that these words can take different colors depending on the tone of the conversation.

Now, in the heat of a conversation, it is impossible to remember all these elements however they can be summed up in a single word and that word is caring.

If you truly care about the other person, it will shine through and a rapport will be established. If not, forget it. I won’t happen.

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Lack of resource is the mother of invention. Lack of resources stands behind almost every great breakthroughs. Lack of resources should not be viewed as a handicap but as an opportunity for creativity and growth.

My Dad was a simple man. He never had the chance to get a superior education but he left me with an incredible gift. He taught me about resourcefulness. He showed me that our greatest asset is not money in the bank, not influential friends, not prestige or power but resourcefulness.

We grew up in a family of very modest means but none of us ever lacked anything. The money may not have been there but resourcefulness certain was, so we always had everything that we ever needed.

Resourcefulness is nothing but imagination in action. You need a resource that you don’t have – what do you do? You brainstorm. You write down as many solutions as you can on how you could do without that particular resource and keep your project alive and progressing.

Most of the solutions that you will come up with will be worthless. However, out of that brainstorming a flame of hope will shine upon one of those solutions. You keep exploring that venue and sooner or later your problem will be solved. Resourcefulness will have compensated for the lack of resources.

There is always more than one way to skin a cat. If it cannot be done one way there are always another. We’ve all heard these words before but we seem to forget them when we most need them.

Money is not the most important resource. Resourcefulness is. That is because you can lose all your money, but unless you get sick, you will always have your resourcefulness.

At one point in my life, I was hosting a TV show on health. I wanted to interview the leading medical authorities in my hometown but I soon found out that medical specialists were not very found of being interviewed by a chiropractor, which is what I am. So, I had to get some leverage. What I did was to get in touch with the doctor who was number one on the totem pole of the medical community.

That guy was a cardiologist who rode a red Ferrari and had an ego that was bigger than a barn door. He was the head rooster in town. I knew that that a guy like that could not turn down a chance to appear on TV. So, I invited him on the show. Of course he agreed.

The word spread around that Dr. Bigshot had been on my show and after that, the telephone never stopped wringing. No other specialist wanted to feel that they could not do what this guy had done. Each and everyone of the specialists appeared on the show.

Resourcefulness had won over resources. It always does. A lesson that I never forgot and will always use.

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Some of us have greater leadership skill than others, but no matter where we stand on the scale of leadership skill, we can always improve on it.

A true leader does not have to rely on position or force to lead. A true leader is someone who can inspire hope. Why else would we chose to follow anyone if we did not have the feeling that the path proposed would lead to a better future?

A true leader must inspire. He will compel his follower to greater efforts, to overlook temporary discomfort and to sacrifice immediate gratification in exchange for greater rewards down the line.

Integrity is also essential to leadership. A leader is constantly tested, and if he wavers on his commitments or on the way that they are implemented, his ability to lead will be questioned and diminished.

Leaders must also spearhead the procession. He cannot push from behind, he must pull from the front. The leader is the alpha. The protector, the strongest one. He must demand more of himself than he will from any of his followers.

Consistency is the hallmark of any good leader. Situations may arise when a change of course is necessary but the same objective must be respected.

A true leader will not be dependent on approval. He must be secure enough to forfeit the need to be praised and strong enough to be able to take unpopular decisions.

Some leaders are born. Others are self-made. However, leadership is a skill and one that can always be improved upon. And, one of the best way to learn leadership skill is to learn to be a good follower because, you simply cannot lead, if you cannot follow. You have to be the student before you can become the master.

To quote the Tao Te Ching:

The river carves out the valley by flowing beneath it.
Thereby the river is the master of the valley.

In order to master people
One must speak as their servant;
In order to lead people
One must follow them.

So when the sage rises above the people,
They do not feel oppressed;
And when the sage stands before the people,
They do not feel hindered.

So the popularity of the sage does not fail,
He does not contend, and no one contends against him

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