One thing that they will never teach you in any school, college or university is the fact that your real education starts on the day that you receive your diploma and leave school. Until that day, all that you’ve been doing is laying the foundation upon which you can build a real education.

That’s a lesson that has not yet reached every one’s ear and that is the reason that we see Mensa candidates and Ivy League graduates mopping floors or welfare recipients. Nothing wrong with mopping floors or welfare if that’s what you want to do but it should be an option and not a necessity.

The formal education system might give you a lot of instruction but not much of an education. That is, upon leaving school, you may have acquired and impressive amount of information but little knowledge as to how all that information should be used.

Knowledge without guidance is moot. William James Sidis, with an estimated ratio IQ of 250-300 and often cited as one of the most intelligent people who ever lived, is a perfect example of this. In spite of his exceptional gifts of intelligence and the advantage of a Harvard education, Mr. Sidis died broke at age 46 without having known happiness or having accomplished anything noteworthy.

The Art of Successful Living is not something that is taught in schools and it’s not something that can be learned very effectively by observing our peers or society at large. If we do what others do, we can only expect to reap what others do; not a very appealing option.

The Art of Successful Living as seen in the world of Self-improvement is a study onto itself that requires as much time and efforts as a college degree. To think otherwise would be badly misleading. The Art of Successful living is about understanding the working of the human mind and nothing less.

It’s about learning to see the world from a different angle, it’s about changing one’s overall attitude, it’s about changing the way that we see ourselves, it’s about opening up to new possibilities and above all, it’s about becoming a better and more effective person.

Not an easy task but not an impossible one when taken one step at the time. The major challenge that is faced when undertaking that self-transformation is changing some fundamental beliefs; changing some disempowering beliefs and replacing them with more dynamic and empowering ones.

We all have some limiting beliefs not the least of which are the beliefs about who we are and what we are capable off. Frustrations caused by past failures have a way of creating a negative self-image, a low self-esteem and a poor sense of self-worth.

The Art of Successful Living or Self-improvement gives us the tool to change the way that we perceive ourselves and thus expand the scope of what we can accomplish. It also demystifies the secrets of communication and shows us the way to meaningful and lasting relationships.

Sadly, man is not born with a user’s manual and that is the reason why we see so many unhappy and wasted lives. It does not have to be so. The Self-improvement world has evolved tremendously and it now contains all the information essential for successful living.

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Napoleon Hill expressed it best when he wrote, “Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” That is something that all champions have understood at the most fundamental level.

What’s is so magical about desire is the fact that it encompasses all the elements necessary to succeed. With enough desire, the level of energy is fired up, the motivation unshakable, the determination knows no bound and the focus is spot on.

In life, as in sports, most of the time the spoil will go to he who wants it the most. Hunger or desire has a way of elevating the performances to unsuspected heights and make the difference between success and failure.

Champions also have strong egos and a high degree of self-confidence. It is a must in any competition whether the arena is sport or real life. No one can expect to reach the top without feeling confident that it can be done.

Self-confidence is not something that everyone is born with but it is something that can be acquired rather easily. The trick is to focus on the victories and forget the defeats. That’s how it’s done in sport and that how it can be done in real life.

An athlete will fail to score many more times than he will hit the target but at the end of the day, what he will remember is the wins and not the losses. That’s how confidence is built; by concentrating on the successes and disregarding the failures.

As we go through our day, if we take the time to notice, we see that we’ve scored many small victories. Each of these small wins is a brick that can be used to build a monument of self-confidence.

Self-confidence is built by keeping our focus on our accomplishments; on the things that we are proud off and on the successes that we’ve had. We can learn and grow as a result of our failures but beating ourselves up over them never helped anyone.

Another element that champions have is a sense of destiny. They feel that they are involved in something that is bigger and larger than they are. They feel that they were placed on Planet Earth with a mission and they intend on carrying it through.

Most, if not every great of this world, had a sense of destiny, the sense that they were somewhat special and had been divinely anointed with a special mission. The truth is that each and every one of us was placed on this Planet with a special mission.

Some will recognize this fact and use it to their advantage while others will not and thus miss out on one of the greatest motivator there is. Whatever the case may be, make no mistake about it, you were designed with a mission in mind but the decision about what you will do about it is yours and yours alone.

Champions are not born they are made. There are three prerequisites to the making of a champion and they are: 1) an irresistible desire, 2) self-confidence and 3) a sense of mission. The seed of those elements were implanted in our heart at birth and all that we need to become a champion ourselves is to nurture them and make them grow.

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If you can see yourself in that portrait, you’re not alone. Many have shared your experience and obtained the same results. The main reason for that is the fact that unfortunately self-improvement is sometimes presented as a quick cure-all for all the problems that ail you.

Self-improvement does works but only when used as it should be. It works when we understand that it’s about personal transformation and not about get-rich-quickly gimmicks or slick techniques to influence people.

Self-improvement is about changing the way that we see the world. It’s about changing our pattern of thinking, about changing what we choose to focus on and mostly about changing our fundamental attitude.

Many don’t even know what is meant by a positive attitude. The general feeling is that it means seeing everything rosy. Nothing could be further from the truth. A person with a positive attitude will see the challenges and the problems but will focus on the solutions rather than on the possible consequences of those problems.

A positive person will focus on where he wants to go and not on what he is afraid could happen if no solution is found. That person will focus on the good rather than keep dwelling on what is wrong in the world. We can read and hear about changing our attitude until the cows come home but if we don’t actually do it, nothing is going to change.

On the other hand, some people will have the right attitude, practice what they have learned about self-improvement and still don’t get any lasting results. Things will improve for a period of time, they will enjoy some success but then, something will happen and they are back to square one.

That is the classic case of self-sabotage. We cannot enjoy lasting success unless we feel that we are deserving of success. It may be hard to believe but some people who were brought up in modest conditions will feel uneasy about succeeding.

Success is not who they are. Their parents did not enjoy affluence, their friends lived with modest means and somehow, they don’t feel good when they step out of that world. Hard to believe but true. Unless a person feels deserving of success, any success encountered will be sabotaged.

The way that we see ourselves has a tremendous influence on how financially successful we can become. It is said that if all the money in the world were divided equally among the world population, in less than five years, almost everyone would be right back where they were before.

Self-improvement is a tool. Like any other tool, buying it and learning how it works is only the first step. Unless we actually use that tool, it wont ever be of any use to us. It is the same with self-improvement. Learning about it is only the first step. Implementing what we have learned is where the work really begins and where the payoff is finally reached.

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Asking people about what concerns them the most and about what occupies their mind most of the time usually points to the melodrama of a challenging personal life. It’s almost as if they were a character in a movie or a book and all that mattered was the story.

That’s not living. It’s role-playing. It’s not embracing the world and all that it has to offer; it’s navel gazing at best and life wasting in the worst-case scenarios. It’s walking around with blinders on and ignoring the hundreds of other realities that are out there.

Everyone has challenges, problems and difficulties. That’s part of life but it’s just a part of it, not the whole thing. We should and we must do whatever we can to solve the problems that we can solve but needless worries about what we cannot change never helped anyone.

Every new day that is given us is a new start – that is unless we are still stuck in our personal drama and refuse to even consider all the opportunities that are out there just waiting to be seized and turned into wonderful and life fulfilling achievements.

Anthony Robbins said, “Life is not biographical; the past does not equate the future.” Essentially what that means is the fact that the course of our life is not stuck on a fixed trajectory that cannot be changed.

Life gives us choices. If we don’t appreciate the path that we are on, it’s always possible to change it. There is always a way that we can either shed the negative or embrace it in a way that may be challenging but not necessarily a roadblock to a fulfilling life.

We are the Captain of our ship and regardless of the winds and tides, we can always change course and head for a friendlier port. People have gone through miserable childhood and have been able to turn their lives around and make huge successes out of them.

If you don’t like the life that you are living now, change it. All that you have to do is to take responsibility for your life, stop blaming your present condition on something or someone else and go for it.

The problem is that, most of the time, we believe that the problems that we’re having now might not be as bad as the problems that we may encounter if we decide to change. This will not happen if the changes that are contemplated are well planned.

Major life changes should not be done on the spur of the moment. Reflection and planning are essential. Goals and objectives have to be set, a course of action and strategies have to be defined and an alternative course in case of major obstacles has to be established.

Albert Einstein said, “The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” Most people will spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they did planning their entire life. No wonder there is so many unhappy people on our little Planet.

We have a past but we are not our past. If we don’t like our life, it’s in our power to change it. It takes courage and resolve but it can be done. Today is the first day of the rest of your life… it may also be the day that you decide to give up the old life script and start writing a new one.

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As young adults, education, peer pressure and societal influence had a powerful influence on our psyche and for all practical purpose finished molding the individual that we were when entering the work force.

Until that time, most of our personal growth was almost entirely due to outside influences and individual circumstances. We did not really have the maturity to define exactly the type of person that we wanted to become and for most the question never even arose.

The fact is that most people believe that we are who we are and there is no much that we can do about it. It is generally accepted that we can acquire knowledge and experience but changing who we fundamentally are is an impossible task.

It is evident that maintaining that mindset will drastically reduce the chances of self-growth or personal fulfillment. Self-growth demands conscious and diligent efforts, something that will not even be entertained with the fatalist notion that we are who we are and that there is little or nothing that can be done about it.

On the other hand, there are those who are willing to explore the possibilities of expanding who they are and work toward a personal metamorphosis in order to fulfill their real potential.

Carl Jung tells us that personal growth, or individuation as he calls it, is the conscious realization of our true self. In other words, personal growth is a conscious quest toward discovering and activating all our innate resources and talents. To put it into even simpler terms, it’s about actively seeking to become all that we can be.

Real personal growth is an active process and not a passive one. That is, it has to be a directed effort and not one that is left to the caprices and whims of circumstances. We grow by understanding that we are much more than we are presently demonstrating and by expressing the will to become all that we could eventually could be.

Self-growth comes about through knowledge and experience. We grow by acquiring information and by subjecting ourselves to conditions and situations that we had never encountered before.

It’s a lifelong ongoing process that has no limit except the limits that we impose on ourselves. Scientists tell us that the human brain is virtually limitless which means that we are only limited in self-growth by our lack of faith or by the absence of necessary efforts.

However if personal growth is limitless, it’s primary objective is not. The raison-d’être of personal growth is acquiring a skin that we are comfortable with. It’s feeling good about who we are, being well adjusted in our environment and having the feeling that life is good.

All the knowledge and all the expertise in the world are useless unless it brings us a sense of wellbeing, internal peace and overall satisfaction, which is our natural birthright. The gift was carefully place in our heart and soul at birth. It is our responsibility to find the key that will set that gift free for us to enjoy and the way that this key can be found is through personal growth.

We have limited power when it comes to changing the world but we have everything that is needed to transform who we are in such at way that we can evolve in synchronicity and harmony with that world and thus find happiness.

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That’s not a good enough reason to stay in the dark about the influence of the hormonal system on our state of mind and overall productivity. People of goodwill don’t look for excuses and will use any pertinent information to increase their level of effectiveness.

You don’t have to be an endocrinologist to understand that strong emotions will illicit and immediate and powerful response from the glandular system, which in turn will affect the overall body chemistry or physiology. This can easily be seen in the cases of anger, frustration, fear and many other emotions.

The effects of hormonal release due to emotion is immediate and can last for considerable time thus maintaining the corresponding state of mind strong and active. That is the reason why it is so hard to eliminate certain unwanted emotions rapidly.

That phenomenon can easily be seen when you’re trying to change the mood of a child who is angry or resentful for no good reason. You will make faces or tell jokes to distract the child and he’ll break out laughing for a few instants only to revert to the initial state with fury. At the moment, he’s not happy and will resent any efforts to make him feel better.

That is due to the hormonal influences on the brain. When we don’t feel good, we don’t even want to feel good and any effort by other to make us feel good will only make matters worse.

When faced with such a situation, there are two possible course of action available. We can either let nature follow its course and wait for the hormonal response to wear out or we can perform what is called a “pattern interrupt.”

A pattern interrupt is a process that demands an immediate, conscious and active reactive participation. In other words, we need to get totally involved and focused on an entirely different subject.

As an example, there are days when I don’t get off on the right side of the bed or when my mood is not all that it should be. When that happens, all that I have to do is go to the gym and get involved in a serious workout and very soon the negative mood changes and I’m back on the right track again.

Pattern interrupts don’t have to involve physical activities. It can also be done on the mental plane. What needs to be done is to get involved in something that requires attention and concentration. It can be done through some kind of problem solving, by getting involved in an interesting discussion or even in playing some interesting game.

What is important to remember here is the fact strong emotions provoke a glandular and hormonal reaction that prolongs the unwanted emotion longer than necessary. Not only does it prolong the emotion but also it makes it difficult for us to even try to change that emotion.

When that happens, we are not powerless but we can do something about it. We can provoke a pattern interrupt and change the way that we feel in a matter of minutes. Doing so gives us a wonderful sense of self-mastery, self-control and ultimately self-esteem.

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We’ve all had times when our efforts don’t give us the expected results, days when we don’t seem to be getting anywhere and days when we feel like giving up. The natural thing to do when that happens is to wish that life were easier. The problem with that is that it’s probably not going to happen. Wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere.

We cannot change the world but it is in our power to improve who we are. Granted, not an easy task but a possible one and, in the cases where our efforts are not yielding the results wanted, it becomes the only solution.

Whether we like it or not, we must take personal responsibility for the place that we are presently occupying in life. We are the ones who got us where we are and blaming our parents, the economy or the world will not help. It is only by taking personal responsibility for our situation that we can ever hope to do something about it.

Taking personal responsibility for our situation does not imply guilt in any way shape or form. It simply means that we are the one who took the decisions, implemented those decisions and eventually got the logical outcome of our decisions and actions.

Blaming someone or something else for our condition is futile, immature and childish. As responsible adults we must own up and take full responsibility for our life if we ever hope to achieve a better quality of life.

If we want to obtain better results we need to improve and self-improvement begins by understanding that, as individuals, we are work in progress. Though is may be hard to fully accept, we have a vast reservoir of untapped potential. We are but a fraction of what we could ultimately become.

The problem with self-growth is that it can easily be seen in retrospect but it I very hard to imagine in advance. It’s easy to realize that we have made progress in the past but it is hard to imagine that we can stay on that upward swing in the future.

Self-growth is like tending a garden. Whatever is done in the present can only be observed and enjoyed in the future. The changes that we make today in our work ethic, the new standards that we impose on ourselves and the new expertise that we’ve acquired will only become evident in the future.

We change and we grow through persistent efforts that have to be done on faith alone. Growth occurs without immediate manifestation. That may be a disheartening fact but it should not be a discouraging one. Efforts always yield results even if they are not always immediately apparent.

Alexis Carrel said, “It’s not easy for man to change because he is at the same time the block of granite and the artisan who must, through powerful strokes of the hammer, chisel out of his own substance the masterpiece that he wants to become.”

It may not be easy to change but it is possible. Not only is it possible but it’s also the only way that we can make life easier, the only way that greater and better results can be achieved and that we can eventually become all that we can be.

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The truth is never simple and it’s never absolute. Truth is not dogma, good for eternity, but a temporal entity that can be studied like anything else. In other words, truth can and does change. What was true yesterday may no longer be so today.

No one is the keeper of the absolute truth and all truths are relative. It is something that we can pursue but never completely grasp. What we hold to be the truth can be used as guiding lights but never as fixed entities.

What we perceive as truth is done on three levels of certainty. It can be seen as a simple notion that has little importance for us. It can be seen as an opinion. That’s a truth that we have tested to the best of our ability and on which most of our decisions are based.

Finally we have our fundamental beliefs. Those are the rocks upon witch our own personal philosophy and the way that we see the world are based. They govern most of our behavior and define most of what we are. It is also at that level that gurus, personal coaches, mentors and teachers strive to address their message.

It’s also at that level that minor distinction can make huge differences in our life. For that reason, the gates that open to that level of beliefs should be closely guarded. That is where we are most vulnerable to peer influence and social proof and it’s also where the wrong leader, teacher or guru can do the most damage.

How then can we determine who is telling the truth and whom we should listen to? There is no direct answer for that question but there are guidelines that can be followed to guide us.

The first thing that we need to do is to listen to our heart and intuition. No one teacher has all the truth but almost everyone who has achieved a degree of notoriety has at least something worthwhile to say and teach. It is for each of us to separate the gems from the fluff and the truth from the spins.

What is proposed as a truth is similar to what is suggested as a garment for us to wear. Some will fit perfectly and others will not. That is the best indication of the level of pertinence that the message has for us.

A truth that fits feels good. We are comfortable with it. There is a sense of certainty about it; we don’t feel the need to question it. It adds and complements our previously held beliefs. Upon receiving the message it feels as if the light had been turned on where darkness used to prevail.

No efforts are required to integrate that message in our life. It’s who we are; it’s where we want to go. No further investigation is necessary to validate the words used. We feel at home with them.

The next indicator of the level of expertise and legitimacy of a mentor can be found in the reputable reviews and critiques that were published about the person and his work. Not every review and critique are fair and objective but they at least give some outside opinion and shed a different light on the subject.

What is all boils down to is the fact that if we trust our heart and intuition chances are very high that we will not find it difficult to know if we should open up to a particular teacher or not. It’s that little voice inside of us who is the best counselor on that subject.

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There are two ways that we can face the future. It can be met with caution, apprehension and fear or it can be engaged with courage, faith and optimism. We can hide out head in the sand and hope for the best or we can climb the highest mountain and show the world what we a capable off.

Whether we like it or not, life is about struggles. It’s impossible to evade that reality but we do have the option of choosing what those challenges will mean for us and in some cases, what they will be.

By choosing to reach for some challenging objectives, we automatically open the door to creativity, self-expression and fulfillment and by the same token, we are closing the door to life’s petty irritations.

When involved in a challenging project of our own choosing, we come totally alive. Our focus is no longer directed on small concerns or on insignificant minor setbacks. We are on a mission, we have a sense of significance and we get that sweet feeling that only the major players enjoy.

It would be safe to say that the majority of those who are not striving to live life to the fullest are either worried needlessly about something or bored to death. That is something that the movers and shakers of this world have understood very well and it’s also the reason that you will see them still hard at work when they no longer need the money or way past retirement age.

Popular beliefs would have us think that the good life is one of leisure and idleness. Nothing could be further from the truth. A meaningless existence provides no satisfaction and no reward. A life with no purpose is not much more than the anteroom to the cemetery.

Life is a gift. Along with that gift we have been given talents and resources and the only way that we can find lasting satisfaction is by using those attributes in earnest and with the best of our ability.

Man was created to expand, grow, seek and conquer. When we are true to this mission we reap satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment. When we evade it, we can only expect a deep void or a sense of failure.

We were not placed on Planet Earth by accident. Each and every one of us has a role to play in the grand scheme of things. It is left to us to find what our mission is and then it is up to us to decide if we accept the challenge or not.

Our answer to that call to action is the deciding factor in the quality of our life. Either we pick up the gauntlet, forge ahead with all our energy and write a personal success story or we decide to stay in our comfort zone and totally miss the one opportunity that is given us to have a worthwhile life.

We will get out of life what we put into it. The rewards are directly proportional to the efforts put forth. If we dare to be all that we can be, there never will be any regret. On the other hand if we play it safe, stay in hidden in the comfort zone and don’t ever venture out… we will have missed the one and only chance that was given us.

In the words of Anthony Robbins, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.”

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The Teflon Man has learned to handle criticism and the unfavorable opinions of the cynics and the skepticals. He has understood that every one is entitled to his opinion; that opinions are purely subjective and that they don’t have to be accepted or shared.

The capacity to handle criticism and rejection is directly proportional to the person’s level of self-esteem. With a high level of self-acceptance, the ego is healthier and the person is much less susceptible to rebukes or rejections.

A person who feels good about himself does not need social proof or validation from others. That person will get his sense of validation through victories over self. He understands that it’s the only true measure of a person’s worth.

Victory over others simply means that the opponents did not measure up and loss over a stronger opponent was predictable. It is the victories over self that are the confidence builders and the esteem boosters.

It is by concentrating and focusing on victories over self that man becomes immune to criticism and rejection. The reason for that is simple. While competing with self, other’s opinion or judgment is not sought. All that really matters is one’s own evaluation and opinion.

The need for acceptance and approval has a very long history. Prehistoric man needed acceptance in the clan if he wanted to survive. Being cast out meant certain death so no wonder that a very strong need for acceptance was established in our ancestors’ primitive brain.

Though it is no longer essential, that reflex is still with us today and for some, it still plays a major role. A role that has lost most of its pertinence due to social changes.

We are still gregarious and social individuals but society has changed. The time when there was a unique clan is long gone. We now live in a complex and overlapping social circles so we are no longer at the mercy of anyone group.

Being a Teflon Man does not mean that we don’t care what others think. Every one enjoys being appreciated, loved and accepted; so does the Teflon Man. The difference is that the Teflon Man will not be dependent on that acceptance and will not let it govern his life.

Standing up to some degree of disapproval is one of the prices that have to be paid by anyone who wishes to stand up and be counted. There is no glory without some hardship and there is no success without some rejection. It goes with the territory.

Becoming a Teflon Man is not as difficult as it may seem. It’s a question of resolved and determination. At one point, most people stand up and decide that they will no longer be at the mercy of other people judgment. If the resolve and determination is strong enough, that’s all it takes.

Today may be the day that you decide to take the pledge to become a Teflon Man. From this day on, you will give everyone the space and the liberty to have their own opinion but as far as you are concerned, you will not be affected by those opinions.

Having done that, you will no longer be chained to the winds and whims of public opinion and at long last, you can stand up and be counted; you are now a Teflon Man.

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