Charisma is a very elusive trait. It can be found in the most diverse characteristic qualities but it is not attached to anyone of those qualities.

According to Wikipedia the word charisma refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a ‘magnetic’ quality of personality and/or appearance along with innate and powerfully sophisticated personal communicability and persuasiveness.

Most of us would certainly like to acquire a higher level of charisma but since it is such a elusive trait, it is not easy to accomplish. However, all is not lost. There is one possibility and that is, having a sense of mission.

The masses are just begging for leaders. They want individuals that can be relied upon to show the way. People who can offer hope of a better future. In one word, there is a need and a want for someone who is on a mission and the person who can fulfill this need will be seen as being charismatic.

This simple truism can easily be seen in something as mundane as a singer. Most of the times very few people in the audience will know much about the singer but the simple fact that he is leading the audience on their quest for entertainment will be enough to convey to that person the characteristic of charisma.

Though it is very often repressed, the need to lead, to be the alpha, is one of the most fundamental and basic urge. So, when we see this leadership quality displayed in someone else, an attraction toward that person is formed and that attraction is what we call charisma.

The formula to acquire that elusive quality known as charisma then becomes relatively simple. Develop a sense of mission for a cause. Exert leadership for that mission and the inevitable will happen. You will be seen as having charisma.

Granted that, even if the formula is simple, implementing it is not easy. It requires a burning desire, perseverance, passion and energy. But it is a working plan and one that almost anyone can use successfully if it is so desired.

It has been said that charisma is a gift of the gods. That may be true in some cases but for those of us who have not been so blessed, there is something that we can do about it. We can find a mission, lead in that mission and become blessed with the aura of charisma.

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In this Blog, I would like to address the fundamental and universal need for significance. Significance is having the feeling that we are somebody, that we matter, that we make a difference. For most people, the way that this need is met will determine to a very large extent which direction that they will take in their life.

Donald Trump fulfills that need by being one of the most outlandish and biggest real estate developer. Obviously the need for significance is very profound in his case and it has totally shaped his life.

On the other hand, Arnold Schwarzenegger needs to be first in order to fulfill his need of significance. That need has had him push himself to train harder than anyone else in order to become the number one bodybuilder in the world. It did not stop there. Successful bodybuilders have a history of becoming movie actor.
So he became one. And not only did he became an actor but he has also eclipsed all other bodybuilders as an actor. The need to be number one has defined who he was and what he did.

The history of all great people are the same. They had an intense need for significance and they became famous by fulfilling that need.

Now, each and everyone of us also has that need for significance. Yet, very few of us has taken the time to determine what we do to fulfill that need. And more importantly most of us don’t know if we are fulfilling that need in an empowering or disempowering way.

If you want to know how you fulfill most of your need for significance, simply as yourself the question, “What is it about me that attracts attention?” You might be quite surprised to find out what the answer will be.

Both, positive and negative traits will attract attention. Some people will attract attention by being successes, others will do it by being failures. Some people will fulfill the need in an empowering way, others in a disempowering way. Some will do it by being heroes, others will do it by being obnoxious. There are those who will do it by building people up. Others will do it by tearing people down.

We all have our own personal technique, our own personal operational system to achieve significance. We have to find out what it is and we have to find out if it is leading us to personal fulfillment, contentment and happiness or if it’s leading us down the path of misery and self-destruction.

The good news is that we are not stuck with something that does not work. We can change it. People who got their sense of significance by winning at all cost have found out that they could change and find the same significance by helping others to win, by contributing rather than by seeking exclusively their self-interest.

Significance plays a very important role in our life. We need to explore the way that we do it and, if need be, change it to a more rewarding path.

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There are four needs of the personality and two needs of the spirit.

Needs of the Personality:

1. Certainty. We all need a certain amount of certainty. We need to know that there is more than a reasonable chance that no harm will be done to us. We need to know that the basic necessities of life will be there for us. We need to feel secure.

2. Uncertainty. If we could predict the future, if we knew everything that is going to happen to us, we would be bored out of our minds. So we need a certain amount of uncertainty in our lives.

3. Significance. Every one needs to feel that they are important. That they matter. That they are worthy of respect. That, in some way, they are special.

4. Connection and love. No man is an island. We need to be loved and appreciated. We need to connect with other people. We need to belong in someone’s heart and mind.

Needs of the spirit:

1. Growth. We need to feel that we are evolving, that we are improving. We need to feel that we are on an upward course of self-development and self-fulfillment.

2. Contribution. It is just normal to feel the need to contribute in some way to someone. It makes us feel good to do so. Contribution is the final stage in human development. Once a person can fulfill his own needs the need for contribution automatically kicks in.

The way that we respond to those needs determine who we are as individuals. That is why it is important to determine which is the predominant need as far as we are concerned because that one need has extreme influence in our life. It reveals much about how we think, how we see the world along with giving insight on our behavior.

After reviewing these needs we might find out that our most important need is not leading us down the path that we would like to follow and that maybe we should concentrate on another need instead.

As an example, someone who has an excessive need for significance might find out that he would be better served by concentrating on the need of connection and love. That person may have been trying to fulfill the need for love by trying to acquire a higher plateau of self-importance.

After some introspection it could also be found that some basic needs have been completely ignored. Usually that would be in the realm of the needs of the spirit, that is, growth and contribution. It is impossible to feel whole if these fundamental needs are not fulfilled.

To feel whole, to feel complete, to grow and expand as we should, all these six needs have to be adequately fulfilled. A task that no one else can do for us.

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