It matters little whether we call him Super-ego or Conscience however what does matter is to understand the little guy’s function, how he works and how he can be influenced to intercede in our favor.

One of the problems that we find with that little guy is that he’s very much influenced by the Ego. And that was especially true when we were very young. If for some reason our Ego was bruised by some disparaging remarks, the little guy would take it way too seriously and lower our level of self-esteem and by the same token, our level of self-confidence.

In some cases, those negative remarks came from parents, teachers, friends and peers. Not necessary individuals who were qualified to give valid opinions on the subject of our true worth. However our little guy took those opinions to be the gospel truth and lowered our self-esteem.

So in order to build that self-esteem again, we need to have several talks with the little guy and make him understand that some of those degrading remarks were certainly not warranted and that he has to disregard them.

Early age self-assessment of our worth created a powerful belief regarding our identify and how we perceive ourselves. In cases where a negative self-image was created, the belief has to be changed. That can be accomplished by repeatedly using positive affirmations and by finding evidences that will disprove the original belief. The process might require intense and prolonged efforts but the results can be spectacular.

Every day that we live, our little guy keeps on assessing our performances. His main concern is the level of our commitment to be all that we can be. When we perform as well as we can, he will raise our self-esteem. When we don’t, self-esteem will suffer.

We cannot fool the little guy. He knows when we use excuses and pretexts to cover an unacceptable performance. And he also knows when we assume the victim role to please our ego. Failing to assume personal responsibility for whatever happens to us is seen as a cardinal sin that is simply not acceptable.

What the little guy inside our brain wants to see is for us to face life’s challenges with courage, give our best and be true to ourselves. He understands that there will be setbacks and that we will fail sometimes. In those instances we will not be penalized so long as we acted courageously, performed to the best of our ability and did not shy our responsibilities.

Self-esteem should depend almost exclusively on how we evaluate our performances and to a much lesser extent on the results that we achieve. That is something else that we should make sure that our little guy knows about. He’s the one who sets to tone for the level of our self-esteem but we’re the one who should set the rules.

One of the most precious possessions that we can ever hope to have is a strong and healthy self-esteem. With it we see life through an entire different set of lens. Getting to like and appreciate ourselves has been called the ultimate seduction. So called because when we have it, little else is needed to make us feel happy. Thus the importance to please the little guy that resides in our brain.

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Self-improvement will give you more tools and more resources. It will provide options that you never had before. It will give you insight on the working of the mind; it will give you hope when you need it and support when the going gets rough.

There is one thing that self-improvement will never do for you and that’s taking action for you. That is the major problem of those who get into self-improvement and fail. I have been very active in the self-improvement world and I have seen people spending ninety percent of their time learning new material or reading inspirational books while only spending ten percent of their time applying what they have learned. Not a good ratio at all.

Reading motivational material, attending seminars and going to great rallies can become a drug of choice. People who spend inordinate amount of time fiddling with self-help material while never taking action actually have the feeling that they are constantly improving when the reality is that they are simply chasing their own tail.

Self-improvement should be seen like any sport. First the rudiments of the discipline has to be learned followed by constant practice and occasional training lessons to learn new techniques and correct any faulty habits that may have been acquired along the way.

And, like in our sport analogy, the emphasis in self-improvement should be on the “practicing” part. Learning without doing is moot. Reading ten books on goal setting and achieving is completely worthless if the student does not set goals and strive to achieve those goals.

Back to the question, “Is Life Easier for Self-improvement Aficionados?” The answer is a non-equivocal YES. That is if there is equilibrium between the learning and the doing. The problem is that the “doing” or “taking action” part is a lot harder than the learning section.

A person could spend ten years reading about swimming but if that person does not get in the water and actually swim, chances are that falling off a boat would result in drowning. It is the same with self-improvement. The actual practice must follow the theory learning part or no change will come out of it.

Whatever we may have achieved so far, either good, bad or in between, is the result of small distinctions and small decisions that we have taken along the way. The better equipped and the more references that we had to assist us in making those distinctions/decisions, the more effective our choices were.

That’s where self-improvement techniques and theories can truly assist us. Those techniques and theories are the ones that were used by successful people who came before us. They are like a map that leads to success and the good life. So, when time comes to make those decisions, they are not done randomly. They follow a road that has been traveled before and known to work.

Suppose for a minute that you decided to do a parachute jump. What is the first thing that you would do? Chances are that you would try to gather as much information about parachute jumping as you could.

Well, it’s the same thing in life. We don’t get a second chance. We have to get it right on the first try. So, if I could give you the best possible advice that I can think off, it would be, “Take your self-improvement work seriously.” You’re already well into life’s parachute jump and you certainly want to get it right before you hit the ground.

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The human mind is funny. Once it has accepted a belief, it will hold onto it even in the face of undisputable proof to the contrary. Not only will the mind resist to changes its long held beliefs, it will perform incredible gymnastic to modify contrary information so that it conforms to what was previously held to be true.

Critical thinking is a rare staple while listening or reading self-improvement material. The problem is that, too often, quantity supercedes quality in the scope of our studies. We try to assimilate too much too fast. When that is done, concepts that differ from our previous beliefs will be overlooked and only evidences that confirm what we already believed will be noticed.

The mind resists changes. It wants to hold onto what has sustained us in the past. With changes we start trampling in unknown territory and with that comes the possibility of pitfalls and dangers. Something that the mind abhors. So it will do whatever it can to avoid it.

There is also the fact that self-improvement goes against the grain of social-proofs. Most people will pay lip service to self-improvement techniques but that’s about as far as it will go. That is very understandable.

The self-improvement world is filled with wild and outlandish claims that can only lead to deceits. That is especially true in the land of the Law of Attraction. Self-anointed gurus will offer amazingly simple formulas that promise to take the believer to seventh heaven overnight. Of course such techniques, though they may be based on partial truths, are bound to deceive and shed a bad light on the self-improvement world.

The major problem that we face in self-growth is not found in learning something new. The problem is getting rid of previously held notions and beliefs. Those are so deeply entrenched in our psyche that we find it very hard, if not impossible, to challenge their validity.

The mind feels that our views of the world have kept us relatively safe so far so it has no reason to change. We’ve already experienced the result of our mindset and we’ve been able to deal adequately with it so, why change and risk greater challenges in the process.

So, in a nutshell, self-growth’s worst enemies are: the innate resistance that we have to challenge and change our beliefs and the propensity to try to achieve overnight transformation.

Self-growth requires more critical thinking than it does acquiring new information. Until it is digested and thoroughly assimilated, new information is worthless. Critical thinking and soul searching is essential before any new concept can be assimilated and integrated.

That is not a process that can be rushed or drowned in a sea of information. It is a slow and gradual process where we are at the same time the teacher and the artisan of our own changes. Not an easy feat to accomplish since we are our own worst enemy.

Intellectual, spiritual and emotional self-growth requires patient and relentless efforts. To think otherwise is to fool ourselves. However the efforts that we invest in ourselves are by far the most rewarding that anyone could ever find. The quality of every aspect of our life depends on it.

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The best way to grow is by translating our thoughts into written the words. We tend to think in wordless notions, abstract concepts and images. Most of our thoughts are vague and ephemeral. If a conscious effort is not made to put some order in our thinking pattern, little will change in terms of personal wisdom and self-growth.

The written word, on the other hand, brings clarity to fuzzy notions. It gives specific form to abstract feelings and makes it possible to parse and analyze otherwise obscure mental concepts.

Learning provides us with more information however, to be truly effective, that information has to be parsed by going through the reasoning process. We need to actively verify if the information received is valid or not, what it means for us and how we can apply it constructively.

That parsing and reasoning process can best be done when working with something tangible such as the written word. Writing something down makes it possible to have a pro-active interchange with those words. It is the next best thing to an actual dialogue with someone else. By being able to see those written word, we can actually converse with them.

Thoughts are fleeting. The written word is not. We’ve all had the regrettable experience of thinking of something fantastic that could have been a huge breakthrough for us and then completely forgetting what it was. It can prove to be most frustrating since it is something that could have been preserved if we had taken the time to jot it down.

Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and all the great thinkers of the world were also famous and prolific writers. They would constantly put their thoughts and reflections down in the written form. They understood and appreciated the value of the written word.

There are various ways that the written word can be used as a personal-growth tool. It can be done in the form of journaling, through personal diary, by keeping a daily log of thoughts and ideas or simply through random writing in notebooks or in Personal Digital Application gadgets.

High-powered executives are notorious for carrying some form of small digital voice recorders with them all the time. No matter where, no matter when, if an interesting idea or thought comes up, it can be recorded right away to later be transferred in the written forms. That way, nothing is lost or forgotten.

Breakthroughs, great thoughts and ideas are not restricted to the time that a person is awake. Many times they will strike during the middle of the night and wake the person up. Care should be taken to register those flashes of insight right way; otherwise, chances are very high that by morning, they will be forgotten forever.

Anything new that we learn has to be integrated in our overall personal philosophy if it is to be of any use for us. That integration requires some mental gymnastic. We have to wrestle with every new concept or theory that we stumble upon so that they can be harmoniously wired in the makeup of our psyche. That exercise can best be done through the use of the written words.

With the written words, we have something tangible to work with. Those words can be changed and the sentences can be rearranged to fit the exact mold that we need and want.

A simple new thought randomly acquired can be turned into a highly polished mental concept that will fit harmoniously with our previous conceptions and beliefs. And, it is this harmony of thoughts that will shed clarity and understanding where confusion and darkness resided before. That is how we evolve and grow.

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That’s an awesome responsibility. The quality of our life depends on it. That book will be our final legacy. It can be a beautiful monument or the shadow of what it could have been. When, in the winter of our journey on Planet Earth, we reread that book, it can fill us with pride and satisfaction or it can be a source of regrets and misgivings.

No one knows how many pages are left in our book but there is something that we should aware off. That is the fact that the last chapters can drastically alter the tone of the entire book. It is never too late to change the course of the story presented.

In our book, just as is the case in most books that we’ve ever read, the epilogue is the most important part of the story. It does not matter what the hero of the book has done or gone through that really matter. What does really matter is what that hero eventually becomes.

A scoundrel can turn into an angel and loafer can turn into a mover and shaker. A proverbial victim of circumstances can turn into a charismatic leader and a silent spectator can turn into the parade leader.

It is our book. We are the authors. We get to choose how the story will turn out. So long as there are pages left, anything is possible. We can still write a book that we will be proud off.

Great people are not born. They are made. They are people who took control of their lives and of their destinies. They had the courage and the wherewithal to stand up and be counted. Most of what they did was not exceptional but what they did was done exceptionally well.

That is an option that is available to every one of us. We are not the result of circumstance; we are the creator of circumstances in that we get to choose what those circumstances mean to us. What is a stumbling block for one person is a stepping-stone for another.

Often we may be tempted think that we are inconsequential, unimportant, that we don’t matter much. There is no such thing as an unimportant person. Just as a butterfly that flutters its wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world, a word that we say or an action that we perform can dramatically change someone’s life or even alter the course of mankind.

Every word that we say and every gesture that we make can cause a ripple effect that will affect, positively or negatively, those that we touch. It is our book, it is our life; we get to write it. We can make it a formidable book of inspiration or a manual on ways to waste a life.

A good way to start the day is by asking ourselves the questions, “What will I write in today’s page? Will this first day of the rest of my life be an epic, world changing day, or will I spend it feeling sorry for myself?”

It is the answer to those daily questions that will determine the quality or our book and by the same token, the quality of our life. We are the authors; we get to write and to decide.

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Some of us have been lucky enough to experience some of those moments. They don’t happen frequently but there are times in our lives when we were able to get close to that magic state. And what’s more interesting is the fact that there are techniques that can be used to reach those almost magic moments or what could be called near-flow experiences.

The near-flow experiences can happen when the Zen attitude is coupled with great passion and a sense of certainty. Let’s explore these three components and see how they can propel our level or performance to its highest level.

As with all very complex concepts, the Zen attitude can be reduced to its most simple denominator. The Zen attitude is nothing more than seeing the world, and everything in it, as being just perfect. That it is just the way that it should be. It’s also rising above the entanglements created by life’s everyday petty dramas. It is seeing life as the ultimate gift that it is – without demands or expectations.

By adopting that attitude, one does not feel like a victim, does not feel frustration or resentment and can address reality with a positive and open mind. It is the ultimate attitude of positive expectancy. One can focus exclusively on the present and address it with all available resources.

Great passion is at its finest when it has a sexual connotation. Throughout history great men have been inspired and motivated by great love. However intense passion can also so be spawned by a great cause. The world of biography is filled with examples of great men and women who were carried above and beyond normal expectations by causes that they deemed to be greater than they themselves were.

Passion is an emotion that can be developed like any other natural abilities. We learn to be more passionate by using that faculty over and over again. Passion for sport, passion for the arts, passion to excel are all venues that can be used to develop a more passionate temperament.

Finally, the sense of certainty, which has been called the winner’s edge, is also essential to achieve the near-flow and high vibration state. That “sense of certainty” is achieved by focusing on the moment with an eye on the desired outcome. When done properly, there is no room for excess and needless baggage. It’s the concentration of power and resources at its finest and at its most productive.

The state of flow, also called, being in the zone, is relatively rare however living the near-flow experience is something that can be learned and developed. Three elements are needed. The Zen attitude, a passionate nature and a sense of certainty. There is nothing esoteric about any of these requirements. They are all faculties that can be acquired and developed.

It is said that the best amongst us only use about twenty five percent of available mental faculties. We were born with an almost limitless potential. Discovering and exploiting that potential is a life long quest. A quest that can be greatly accelerated by learning how to get into the near-flow state. It’s available for each of us. All that is required is a bit of work and a lot of faith.

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There are two main reasons why we will sabotage some objective that we were working on. The first is that the project in question is not in accordance with what we perceive our identity to be.

Let us take the case of someone who would be working for a promotion that involves managerial functions. If that person does not see himself a leader or someone who cannot direct and command, chances are very high that he will sabotage the quest for that promotion.

There are few things as strong as the need to conform to our identity. Stepping outside of the boundaries of the type of person that we believe to be is next to impossible. A person who sees himself as being poor in math will perform badly with numbers and a person who sees himself as clumsy will drop everything.

The second reason self-sabotaging comes into play is when a person’s standards are too low. For some reason, these people see themselves as undeserving. They feel that the good things in life are for someone else.

That is usually the case when someone was raised with the beliefs that having money or affluence is somehow basically wrong. Or the belief that you cannot be wealthy and be a good person. They have the curse of the poverty mindset. So when they start having money they will feel strangely that it is wrong, that it is bad. So they will automatically sabotage any success that they are having.

In order to succeed and succeed consistently a persona must feel deserving of success. That they have the right to be affluent and that they can be good and rich at the same time.

Disempowering beliefs must be changed before success can be acquired. In order to do that we need to know the nature of belief. We need to know what a belief is. A belief is nothing but a notion that is supported by some evidences. As an example, if you are told times and times again that you have excellent taste in clothes, you will adopt the belief that you have indeed good taste in clothes.

The same applies to the beliefs that we have about our identity or any other belief that we may have. So if we want to change a belief, we must change the bank of references that support it. Let us say that you want to change a negative belief about not being a leader capable of managing people, you want to find instances in your life were you displayed leadership abilities. Find enough of those and you will change your fundamental belief about your leadership abilities.

Self-sabotage is a serious roadblock to success and self-actualization. It is insidious and not always easily detectable. Whenever there are repeat failures in any area of our life, a red flag is raised. The question must be asked, “Am I sabotaging myself?” If there are evidences of self-sabotage two beliefs have to be questioned. The first about our perceived identity and the other one about our success worthiness.

If who we perceive ourselves to be is not in accordance with what we want to achieve we must change the beliefs about our identity and if it is the beliefs about success worthiness that is at fault, those beliefs must be changed also.

Don’t let self-sabotage destroy a bright future. Affect the necessary changes in beliefs and see repeated failures turn into series of brilliant successes.

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Have you ever said anything, or come up with an idea that was simply brilliant? A time when you were so proud of yourself? And can you remember times when you said something that was silly beyond beliefs? Of course you can. So, what made the difference between these two incidents?

The difference was due to the state of mind that you were while those occurrences were taking place. In the first case, the one that you were so proud of, you were in a great and empowering state of mind. In the second case, where you could not believe how silly you could have been, you were simply in a silly state of mind.

The state of mind is the regulator of our performances. That is what makes the difference between acting brilliantly and being just plain dumb.

That fact is seen every day in professional sports. Two teams of almost equal talent and ability will compete and the team that will win will be the one who’s player had the best attitude or the best state of mind. It is true in sport, it is also true in everyday life.

The state of mind is the determining factor in the quality of of every performances. A great state of mind will produce fantastic results while a so-so state of mind will produce questionable results.

The question then becomes, “how can we increase the quality of the state of mind that we are currently are in?” How can we change a low key state of mind into a dynamic, energetic and most empowering one?

The state of mind is most influenced by three factors.
1. What we focus on.
2. What things mean for us.
3. Our body posture.

If we focus on something that is positive, exciting and uplifting, those neurons in our brain will get all fired up and our mood will follow suit. Our state of mind will also be positive, excited and uplifted. On the other hand, if we focus on the bad and the ugly, so will our state of mind.

Shakespeare said, “Nothing is either good or bad but out thinking makes it so.” We get to decide what things or events mean for us and if we chose to color positively any situation, the quality of our state of mind will automatically be uplifted.

And, last but not least, one of the most effective way of empowering our state of mind is, through body posture.

At any given moment, small receptors throughout our body are sending signals to the brain signaling information about our posture. If we are standing straight and erect with an air of confidence, that’s the message that the brain will receive. On the other hand, if we stand and have the posture of someone who is down and defeated, that’s also the message that the brain will receive.

By altering our body posture we can directly affect our state of mind. Great posture, great state of mind. Great posture accompanied by well chosen focus and a positive outlook on whatever is affecting us in the present will create a fantastic state of mind. That state of mind will then determine the quality of our performances.

It’s not always how intelligent, how smart or how educated we are that matters most in how we perform. All these factors will be under the influence of our state of mind. So, if we want to perform to the highest level that we are capable of, the first thing that needs attention is our state of mind. The quality of the performance always depends on it.

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What these complainers did not understand is that Tony’s time is probably worth ten of thousands of dollars an hour. In case you did not know it the guy is worth in the neighborhood of a billion dollars. So, when you navigate in that stratosphere you have to prioritize your time. You have to concentrate on the major and forget the minor.

Being productive requires prioritizing the available time first and then it means being on focus. A definite objective needs to be established followed by a specific plan and finally, a controlled execution of the plan has to be directed.

The main roadblock to productivity is procrastination. In any major endeavor there will be some stumbling blocks and some major problems. That’s when procrastination shows it ugly head. Taking the easy road is the natural thing to do, so, when facing a stone wall, the natural tendency is to be distracted and concentrate on matters that are not relevant to the progression of the project on hand.

Work does not necessarily mean productivity. I have coached many up and coming young lions who were committed to succeed in business or in their professional life. One of the major point that had to be stressed with these guys was that there is a huge difference between business and busy-ness. Fussing over which tie should be worn today is not productive time. Planning an important phone call that could result in a big contract is quality and productive time.

Time and energy are restricted assets. They must be well invested. To accomplish that productively we must take on two roles. We must be the director and the manager of our time. The director’s role is to determine to road or path that will lead to the objective sought and the manager’s job is to make sure that we stay on that path.

Lastly, if we want to be productive, we must concentrate on our sphere of influence and not on our sphere of concerns. This needs a bit of explaining. We are surrounded by things over which we have control, that’s our sphere of influence and we are also surrounded with things over which we have no control and that our sphere of concerns.

Needless to say that whatever time spent worrying over our sphere of concerns or the things that we cannot change is a total waste of time and energy. To be really productive, we have to be disciplined which also means having control over our mind and the best way to exercise that discipline is by staying focus on what we can change and stop worrying over what can happen to us.

To succeed in any endeavor, we must be productive and to be productive we must be proactive in prioritizing, in managing procrastination and in exercising focus control. Time is money and the way that we use our time will determine the amount of money that we will earn. Simple application, huge results.

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We have limited time and just so much energy therefore we are also restricted in our efforts so both time and efforts have to be invested as judiciously as possible.

There are three ways of investing time and efforts that stand out way above any others because, in each case, the returns are inestimably profitable. None of these three types of investment are more important than the other so they will not be described in order of their importance because that evidently cannot be done.

The first that I would like to talk about here is the time invested in our close relationships, that is, our immediate family or our spouse and children but especially in our spouse.

The couple is the nucleus around with all human relationships revolve. A good, solid and loving relationship between the two partners is central to a happy and rewarding life. So, if it’s so important, it stand to reason that time and effort should be devoted to make it flourish and grow.

Nothing in life is static. It either blossoms and grows or it withers and dies. The dynamic of the couple needs to be nurtured and fed. Time and efforts have to be invested if we wish to see it remain solid and growing.

Another investment that pays untold dividends is the one that we make in our education or to put it another way, the time and effort that we invest in a quest to personally expand and grow.

The quality of our experience of the world depends on the debt of our general and specific knowledge. Appreciation and enjoyment depend on comparison. The finer things in life cannot be really appreciated if we have nothing to compared them to. That is where general knowledge comes into play. A well garnished intellect is a prerequisite to really appreciate what life has to offer.

Knowledge will also guide us in making those small but very important distinctions that will guide our path to prosperity and happiness. To take wise decisions, first, we must be informed. Another basic premise to successful living.

Lastly, but just as important, is the time and efforts that we invest in our health. Hygiene, nutrition, exercises and stress control are the pillars upon which health is best preserved and protected.

Without health, nothing else really matters. So, again, it deserves quality time and efforts. Nature has been generous with us but it will not withstand continuous neglect.

Bottom line, if you really want to be rich in a way that your life will keep on acceding to higher and higher plateaus, invest time and efforts in your spouse, yourself and in your health. No greater dividends can be found anywhere else.

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