It would be almost impossible to overstate the importance of the self-image. It molded our personality, defined our character, and it directs our behavior. The self-image is the way that we perceive ourselves to be. It defines how we behave, it sets the boundaries of what’s possible for us and it shapes the way that we present ourselves to the world.

The self-image is responsible for the quality of life that we’ll enjoy or the lack thereof. For all these reasons and many more, our self-image is of capital importance. Every possible effort should be made to have the best possible self-image.

Before we attempt to change the self-image, it must be understood that the self-image is a personal belief and nothing else. It is not something that we were born with or that is inscribed in our genes or DNA. As far as the self-image is concerned, we were born with a clean slate that we filled by accepting suggestions that were given by parents, friends, teacher and peers and through some personal observations.

We were the ones who accepted those suggestions and made those observations so, even if were not consciously aware that we were accepting those suggestions, we must take full responsibility for the process.

Changes are only possible by taking responsibility for what concerns us. No change is ever possible by taking on the victim stance. The reason for that is simple. We have control over what we created or have allowed to be created in our brain but if we adopt the beliefs that it was due to outside influences, there is little if anything that we can do to change it.

Once we have accepted responsibility for our self-image, the second thing that has to be done is to write down what that image is. It is impossible to try to change some vague notion. Just as we would not try to redecorate the inside of a house that we have not seen, it would be foolish to attempt to change a self-image of which we only have some vague concepts.

Formulating the description of our self-image demands some introspection. The best way to do that is by sitting down and writing a paragraph describing who we perceive ourselves to be. That paragraph is simply a rough draft. It won’t be perfect and we should not even try to make it perfect.

However, in days to come, that draft has to be reviewed and corrected until we have an accurate description of what we perceive ourselves to be. It may take days and it may take weeks but the exercise should be done until we are satisfied with the finished product.

Once that this is done, we must define and write down what we believe that we could be if we were all that we could be. That is our ideal self-image. That’s the image that we want to fill; that’s the person that we want to become. That’s how we want to see ourselves – it’s our new and improved self-image.

We now come to the final stage of the exercise. That ideal self-image must be placed where it can easily be seen and read over and over again with conviction until it is completely believed and accepted.

People who have tried this technique were amazed at the results that were achieved in a relatively short period of time. Every time that the ideal self-image is read, it reinforce the belief and eventually turns it into a conviction. That’s the power of autosuggestion. It’s the ideal tool to change a negative self-image into the glorious image of what we fundamentally are.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Attitude is everything. It’s not what happens to us that really matter. What does make all the difference in the world is how we interpret what is happening to us. Each and every one of us looks at the world through different lens. Those lenses are defined by the self-image.

Whether a person believes to be designing and building his life or is in survival mode depends exclusively on how that person sees himself. The survivor and winner will always be in a growth mode and the victim of circumstances will always be in survival mode, no matter what.

We see life and we interpret reality in a way that conforms to the views that we have about ourselves. Nelson Mandela was leading his country from the confines of a jail cell. In his mind he was a leader and a force for justice. That was his self-image and it also was his reality.

On the other hand, we have the sad story of a man who was a legend in his lifetime, Elvis Presley. Elvis was almost universally adulated. He had fame, fortune and the world was his oyster. In spite of all that, he literally destroyed himself.

Two legends, two self-visions, two vastly different outcomes. Outside circumstances matter little. Perceived identity means everything. We behave, respond, evaluate and perceive in ways that conform to the image that we have of ourselves.

Yet, for all its importance, that self-image is only an amalgamate of beliefs. Beliefs that were mostly passed down to us by parents, friends, teachers, peers, societal influences and a few from personal observations.

At one point, we need to sit down and take a good hard look at how we see ourselves, how we perceive ourselves to be. We need to re-evaluate the beliefs that we have about ourselves. How much of those beliefs are genuine and how much of them are fiction.

All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.

The first thing that needs to be done by anyone serious about changing his life’s scenarios from survival mode to designing and building a life of choice is to sit down a write a brief description of his perceived identity. That description should focus on what the person could be if he gave his all and was determined to use his full potential.

This written self-description could be the most important document that a person possesses. It contains a clear view of what is possible. It sets the boundaries and scope of one’s possibilities. It sets the scenario that will guide the main protagonist (ourselves) in the story of our life.

We were all born winners; we were all given the talents necessary to take our rightful place in the grand scheme of the Universe. Our mission is to find and exploit our full potential. That mission starts with a search for self-discovery and once that this is done, everything else just falls naturally into place.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

That is the process that allows us to perform automatically most of what we do during the course of our life. That’s the process that allows us to drive a car almost automatically, to use our keyboard without having to search for the letters etc. However, that process also does a lot more.

That is the process that formed most of the beliefs that we have. It’s where most of our personal views on just about every subject under the sun were constructed. These beliefs and views are neatly tucked up in our bank of reference just waiting to spring forth when the need occurs.

The problem with that bank of references is that most of it was already formed before we were three years old. That is to say that some very important evaluations were done before we were mature enough to do it. Hard to believe but true.

By the age of three, we had definite notions about love, about relationships, about money, about people and about just every imaginable subject. At the time, they were very embryonic notions but they established the basis upon which our beliefs were eventually formed and accepted as gospel truth.

Today, years later, that bank of reference is still being used to define our reality. As we developed, learned and grew, some of those beliefs were altered to adapt to new information but the original evaluations still play an important role in our belief system.

Without that bank of references we simply could not function. It is where our automatic reflexes are stored; it is through that bank of references that we can have a normal conversation without having to analyze the course of that conversation. It’s the guiding mechanism for most of our actions however it is also were our beliefs are held.

Our beliefs are extremely important because they define our reality. As such, some of those beliefs are empowering and some are not. Some beliefs contribute positively and some are major roadblocks. Some beliefs are sources of inspiration and growth while others only contribute to difficulties and hardships.

We are the steward of our own bank of references and the overseer of our beliefs. It is for us to determine what is good and what is not; what should be kept and what should be changed.

It is to be remembered that beliefs are not cast in stone. They are simply notions that we have adopted for reasons that, in some cases, may be questionable and sometimes adopted before we were mature enough to make judicial decisions.

Some people where influenced, by the time that they were three years old, to believe that they were worthless and that they could never achieve anything worthwhile in their life. Years and years later that belief still affect and run their life in spite of tons of evidences to the contrary. That’s a real tragedy.

Beliefs are simply notions that we have accepted and notions that can be questioned and changed. Changes may not always be easy because our mind has a strong need for consistency. However, with some determination, a disempowering belief can always be replaced by a positive one. That’s how we grow, mature and become wiser and more effective.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Every moment that we are awake, the little chatterbox in our mind is active. It’s a bit like a radio that cannot be shut off and, just like a radio; we have many different stations that we can tune in. Some of these stations are upbeat and uplifting while others are filled with gloom and doom and altogether very depressing.

There is however a major difference between our little chatterbox and a radio. The chatterbox is interactive. If we wish, we can participate in the conversation that goes on.

The importance of that chatterbox is the fact it controls our feelings and the way that we see life. It also controls our state of mind, which in turn controls the level of our performances. Given these facts, it becomes evident that we should do everything in our power to maximize the quality of what comes out of this all-important chatterbox.

The best way to do that is by tuning into the channel that focuses on our life’s purpose. Of course, if it’s not already done, we have to begin by defining what that life’s purpose is all about. The first step to get to know what that purpose is would be to ask the question, “What is most important for me?”

At first sight, it seems to be an awesome question with no evident answers. However, after some reflection it becomes quite evident that what we want the most and what is most important is to feel good. Of course, that answer will bring up another question, which is, “What makes me feel good?”

Now, that is the primordial question and one that will bring a different answer depending on the individual’s values. For some, it might be personal growth. For others, it might be pursuing a cause that is larger than they are. The answers will vary depending on the individual but what is truly important is finding the answer to that question. The quality of our life depends on it.

The reason that it is so important is that we have two choices in life. We can either run away from something that we fear or run toward something that we want. Either way, we’ll be running. There is no standing still in life.

Without a purpose to run toward, we’ll be running away from fears. There is no shortage of those. They are like a pack of wolves howling at the moon. We can either listen to those scary sounds or listen to the sweet music of accomplishment.

By being invested in a purpose that is big enough, noble enough and grand enough, there will be little place in our lives for fears and other negativities. We cannot focus on two different topics at the same time. Either our eyes are staring at the stars or they’ll be glazing at the abyss.

Helen Keller said it best, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Either we stand for something or we mean nothing. Either we have a purpose in life or life will use us to serve its purpose. Either we create and grow or we vegetate and wallow.

Life is too important to be wasted. To live it to the utmost, a purpose is needed. A purpose around which we can wrap all the other elements in our life and see it all shine gloriously as it creates the statement that we were born to be.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

When it is well understood and assimilated, this one sentence contains an entire philosophy. It can become a life’s purpose, a source of motivation and a guiding light to achievement and self-actualization.

The part that says, “Life is a gift.” is particularly telling. Once that the fact that life is a gift is accepted, everything changes. Instead of feeling that life owes us we are left with the feeling that it is we that owes to life.

This could be better explained by using an analogy. Let us say that someone gives you a nice car. Chance are very good that you would be grateful for the gift instead of complaining that the car has not your favorite color and that it is not brand new.

Same thing with the gift of life. When accepted as a gift, we don’t go around complaining that all is not perfect. We accept the gift gratefully and do our utmost to enjoy it as much as possible.

Accepting life as a gift rather than as an ordained right is a slight but a very meaningful distinction. We are more prone to value and enjoy the gift and every day that is given us becomes an added bonus instead of a source of recrimination for whatever is not perfect in our eyes.

Serenity is not a matter of outside circumstances; it’s a way of interpreting our reality. It’s a matter of accepting what is, changing what can be changed and coping gratefully with what is given us. Life may not unfold exactly as we would like but it’s always better than non-existence or the great void.

The quote also says, life offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. There is a world of wisdom in these words. It’s about the duality of the Universe. It’s about the Ying and Yang that rules everything.

For every force there has to be a counteracting force. There are two sides to everything. Polarity is essential to existence. Without the negative, the positive cannot exist. Life is about symbiosis and contribution. In order to get, we must give.

The more we give and contribute, the more we get back. This fundamental truth is of special importance for anyone who happens to be on survival mode and struggling just to stay afloat. What can you give if you barely have enough for yourself?

Giving can take the form of support, advice, encouragement and above all human warmth. There is always someone who could use some moral support or a good word. It does not cost anything and it can make a world of difference to someone in need.

It is by sowing that we reap. It is by giving that we receive and no one is so poor that he does not have something to give. Contribution is more a question of attitude than a matter of material possessions.

Basically, what this quote says is that life is a gift and with that gift came some talents. Now, if we choose to appreciate that gift, cultivate those talents and share their fruits, the end results will be the life of our dream. One short quote that says it all.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Strange as it may seem, in some cases, ignorance can be a blessing. Most of the world’s greatest achievements came to be because someone simply did not know that it could not be done. That’s when it would be appropriate to invoke the proverb that says, “Ignorance is bliss.”

The extent of what we can accomplish is only limited by the scope of our determination. Most of our limits are self-imposed. For thousands of years, people held the belief that it was impossible for a human being to run the mile in less than four minutes. But in 1954 Roger Bannister broke this imposing belief barrier.

In the whole history of the human race, no one had ever been able to break the four-minute mile, yet within one year of Bannister’s breaking the barrier, 37 other runners also broke it. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing! Today, high school kids run the four minutes mile. All that because Roger did not know that it could not be done.

Most of man’s greatest achievements were thought to be impossible at one point. Someone did not know that it was impossible, went ahead and did it. Now it is seen as self-evident.

If we ever hope to do anything worthwhile with our life, the Art of Selective Ignorance has to be learned and mastered. That is, we have to learn to ignore all the reasons why it’s impossible to do something that has never been done before. We need to learn to ignore limitations, lacks and shortages.

One of the most important words in the vocabulary of great achievers is the adverb: how. They want to know “how” something can be done and they choose to ignore the reasons why it cannot be done. That is the Art of Selective Ignorance at its finest.

Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania has introduced us to the world of “learned helplessness.” He has demonstrated how one single failed attempt at something that we tried to accomplish can create the belief that it meant that we could never accomplish that objective.

He also showed that this “one attempt” could create the belief that since we’ve failed in this particular project it also meant that we would fail in something that is totally unrelated. And, as if that was not enough, this one failure can also be seen as a personal flaw or personal ineptitude.

In 1895, Albert Einstein sat the entrance examinations to get into the prestigious Federal Polytechnic School (or Academy) in Zurich, Switzerland and failed. What a great mind the world would have lost if Einstein had taken that failure as a sign that he was not intelligent enough to pursue a life of research.

We can always learn from our failures. However, we must be selective on what we choose to learn. Instead of learning that failures are signs of personal ineptitude, we should learn from what went wrong and how it can be changed in future attempts.

The brain is a wonderful tool but it does need someone at the helm to direct it. Allowed to run free, it can create havoc; well guided it can produce wonders. That is why we should learn to master the Art of Selective Ignorance.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Success is the end result of multiple victories honorably won. For that reason, anyone who aspires to succeed must be passionate about winning. It could even be said that most of the world’s movers and shakers are more motivated by the desire to win than by the objective that they are after.

Winning is processional and it’s a way of life. Without the competitive spirit, no great achievement is possible. Ambivalence has no place in the arenas of success. Either the game is played to win or it’s a no contest.

Life is about competition. That’s how evolution worked from ameba to man, it’s how mankind grew and it’s how success is achieved. To live and grow is to compete and win.

Strong and effective competitors share two common elements. They have a unique mindset and they posses outstanding personal resources. Let’s take a look at these two items.

Winners believe that they are fighting for a cause that is larger than they are. They have a sense of destiny. They understand that they have an important role to play in the grand scheme of the Universe and that what they do matter.

Taking such a stance is not reserved to the privileged few. Anyone who has the courage to stand up and claim his birthright could see himself in that light. It’s a question of self-esteem and a question of self-confidence. Something that anyone who is willing to put in the time and effort can acquire.

Along with that mindset, winners have outstanding personal resources. They were not born with these resources they acquired them. They did so by constantly waging the ultimate war, the battle to constantly outdo themselves.

Life’s noblest conquests are the ones that we have over ourselves. Those are the battles that we should be obsessed to win. That’s were we expand and grow. It’s where we acquire the personal resources essential to lasting success.

We learn very little when we stay in our comfort zone. A bodybuilder will grow by challenging heavier and heavier weights. That’s also how our bank of references (personal resources) works. We learn by overcoming larger and larger obstacles and facing ever-greater obstacles.

It could be said that the story of accomplishments is the story of victories. Victories that start with victories over self then extend outward to public achievements; thus creating a self-propelling and ever growing circle of personal growth, victories and achievements.

If we look at it with a cold and calculating eye, we can see that life, in all its forms, is an eternal competition for supremacy. We cannot escape it. Either we enter the arena and compete or we are left by the wayside and become a burden on society. Those are not cruel and uncaring words they are facts.

The world does not owe us anything yet it has already given us much. It is up to us to find the opportunities available and do the best that we can to turn them into successful and rewarding accomplishments. That’s what we were born to do. To quote Julius Caesar, “Veni, vidi, vici.” (I came, I saw, I conquered.)

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

We see it all the time and we may be guilty of it ourselves. People who ignore their own needs, only think about others expecting to be repaid with gratitude and find themselves taken for granted and denied recognition for what they have done.

After awhile, these people are left feeling used and abused. They never realized that what they were doing was actually a form of manipulation. They were attempting to exchange service rendered for love and recognition. It simply does not work.

Love and kindness has to be a win/win situation or it will fail. If the satisfaction can be found in the giving, that is fine. But any attempt at bartering, conscious or otherwise, will fail. Love and gratitude are spontaneous responses. They cannot be coerced or forced. Either they are freely given or they will not come forth.

Actually it all boils down to true respect. Before we can truly respect others, we have to be able to respect ourselves. Again, we cannot give what we don’t have. Self-denial is not a virtue. It’s a lack of self-respect. It’s not a form of humility; it’s a form of servility.

The best possible way to be truly generous, loving and giving is by following the theory of Egoistic Altruism. Basically that theory says that you start by working in your own best interest first and then you extend your efforts toward others. That may sound selfish; it’s not. It’s common sense. Egoism is used to foster altruism; it’s not an end unto itself. It’s an effort to contribute more by becoming more.

The Egoistic Altruism theory is the antithesis of the victim mentality. It implies that the person will take responsibility for his happiness and welfare. It’s a way of teaching and inspiring through example. In one word, it means being part of the solution and not part of the problem.

We admire and respect those who have true respect for themselves. These people are seen as charismatic. We sense that if they can respect themselves, they will also respect others.

Our behavior is an extension of our feelings. When we are contented and happy, we spread joy and we’re generous. On the other hand, when we’re sad and feel deprived, it also affects our behavior. That’s the reason why it is important to look to our own best interest before extending our generosity to others.

Philosophers who support egoism have argued that altruism is demeaning to the individual and that no moral obligation to help others actually exists, and that all of our actions are based upon self-interest.

They are partially right. There is no moral obligation to help others and most of our actions are based on self-interest – but that’s as far as it goes. Contribution may not be an obligation but it is an essential requirement to self-fulfillment. Most of our actions are motivated by self-interest but if they do not, at one point, extend to the betterment of others, there is a character flaw.

Complete maturity implies the need for interdependence. That is, the need to share and contribute. That is where we see the nobility of man; that is where we become all that we can be.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Seriously, if you are willing to invest just ten minutes a day toward achieving your goals using this technique, in less than a few months you’ll be amazed with the results. I know that it works because I’ve used it for over three decades.

The first thing that you need to do is to give yourself the title (and the job) of CEO for a business conglomerate who’s only mission and function is to manage your brain and see to it that it is as productive as it can possibly be.

The second thing that you need to do is to see yourself as two distinct individuals. The first is the CEO whose main function is to define where the conglomerate (which is you) is going, what its goals and objective are and the strategies to get there.

The second person is the manager who will implement the CEO’s strategies. Now it’s very important to respect the integrity of these two persons. When you’re the CEO, you think and act as a CEO and when you’re the manager you only act as a manager.

The reason for that is simple. As a CEO you may have to make demands that the manager may not be quite comfortable with. However, as manager he has no choice in the matter. He simply has to follow the boss’ orders.

At first sight, this role-playing may seem a little silly. So what? It works. That is, it works if you work it. That’s the recipe and like any recipe, if you don’t use all the ingredients the way that they should be used, the finished product will not be what it was supposed to be.

Now that the stage is set, it’s time for the nitty-gritty of the ten minutes exercise. That ten minutes daily period will be devoted to the CEO’s personality and it will consist of working on the conglomerate’s Journal.

No responsible company or organization would even dream of working without a Journal. That’s a book in which the mission of the company is defined. It’s a place where the objectives are recorded along with the strategies necessary to reach these objectives. In the case of a one-person organization that book is called a Personal Planner.

The Personal Planner consist of a small loose leafs binder with separators for the different subjects to be treated. These subjects should include: the overall mission or prime objective of the individual, a list of all the goals with the strategies to reach these goals, a “must do today” list, a list of important contacts along with pertinent info regarding these people. Other items or subjects can also be included if so desired.

Once you’ve created the two personalities (CEO and Manager) and that your Personal Planner is set up, all you have to do is to spend ten minutes a day doing the planning and deciding what should absolutely be done for that day.

The exercise is extremely simple in it’s application and will give tremendous results so long as both personalities take their function seriously and conscientiously. Running a large conglomerate or a single individual only differs in the size of the organization. The principles are the same and so should be the methodology.

Take yourself seriously, manage and conduct yourself in a professional way and you will reap outstanding results. It cannot fail. The best of luck… and see you at the top.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Basically, self-actualization means working toward becoming all that we can be. It should be a process that starts at birth and last until the last curtain falls. Unfortunately, such is not always the case. Many people are so entangled in the problems of daily life that little thought or attention is given to self-actualization.

That’s a shame because self-actualization should be what life is all about. Life means growth. The moment that growth stops, stagnation and decay set in. That is true for all living organisms and it is especially true for humans. It is correctly said that some people die at age twenty-two, forget to fall down, and will only get buried past age eighty.

Self-actualization passes through three stages: learning, integrating and doing. Let’s review these three stages.

1. Learning is the first stage. Every new thing that we learn is added to our bank of reference where it can be used in the thinking process. That information serves to evaluate concepts and ideas; it can be used to make finer and more effective distinctions and is the basis for the entire conscious process.

2. The integration into the wiring of our brain of some of our knowledge has to be done in a way that it becomes an automatic reflex. That is the second stage of the self-actualizing process and it has much to do with self-control. It is evident that a person near the zenith of self-actualization will not react to situations the same way that an infant would. As we evolve and grow, we get to be more and more sophisticated in our automatic responses to situations and events.

3. The last, and probably most meaningful stage of self-actualization is the “doing” part. It is not what we know that really counts but what we do with it that really matters. It is by pushing our limits that we really grow. So long as we stay in our comfort zone, no real progress is achieve. It is when we really have to flex our intellectual muscles that growth occurs.

That is the primary reason why we should have goals and objectives. It is not reaching a goal that is the most important. What really matters is the person that we have to become to reach our objectives that really matters.

The real objective of goal setting is self-transformation, self-growth and self-actualization. The stories of people who never grasped or understood that fundamental axiom are legion. They are the tales of people who have achieved unbelievable success, acquired fame and adulation of the masses that end up destroying themselves because they are so miserable and unhappy that they can no longer stand it.

Material possessions, fame and recognition by themselves will not bring happiness. Successful living is above all a state of mind. It is found in the satisfaction that we are constantly growing and improving; in the realization that we are evolving and contributing. In the feeling that, day-by-day, we are climbing the path of self-actualization.

Once our basic physiological and emotional needs have been met, everything that we do is directed toward satisfying our need for self-actualization. Self-actualization has been called the master motive. In other words, self-actualization is the ultimate motive from which all other motives spring.

Once we’ve understood this basic fact of life, we are ready to make real progress. We are heading in the right direction. It’s not what we own that really matters; it’s whom we are that really counts.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/