It matters little whether we call him Super-ego or Conscience however what does matter is to understand the little guy’s function, how he works and how he can be influenced to intercede in our favor.

One of the problems that we find with that little guy is that he’s very much influenced by the Ego. And that was especially true when we were very young. If for some reason our Ego was bruised by some disparaging remarks, the little guy would take it way too seriously and lower our level of self-esteem and by the same token, our level of self-confidence.

In some cases, those negative remarks came from parents, teachers, friends and peers. Not necessary individuals who were qualified to give valid opinions on the subject of our true worth. However our little guy took those opinions to be the gospel truth and lowered our self-esteem.

So in order to build that self-esteem again, we need to have several talks with the little guy and make him understand that some of those degrading remarks were certainly not warranted and that he has to disregard them.

Early age self-assessment of our worth created a powerful belief regarding our identify and how we perceive ourselves. In cases where a negative self-image was created, the belief has to be changed. That can be accomplished by repeatedly using positive affirmations and by finding evidences that will disprove the original belief. The process might require intense and prolonged efforts but the results can be spectacular.

Every day that we live, our little guy keeps on assessing our performances. His main concern is the level of our commitment to be all that we can be. When we perform as well as we can, he will raise our self-esteem. When we don’t, self-esteem will suffer.

We cannot fool the little guy. He knows when we use excuses and pretexts to cover an unacceptable performance. And he also knows when we assume the victim role to please our ego. Failing to assume personal responsibility for whatever happens to us is seen as a cardinal sin that is simply not acceptable.

What the little guy inside our brain wants to see is for us to face life’s challenges with courage, give our best and be true to ourselves. He understands that there will be setbacks and that we will fail sometimes. In those instances we will not be penalized so long as we acted courageously, performed to the best of our ability and did not shy our responsibilities.

Self-esteem should depend almost exclusively on how we evaluate our performances and to a much lesser extent on the results that we achieve. That is something else that we should make sure that our little guy knows about. He’s the one who sets to tone for the level of our self-esteem but we’re the one who should set the rules.

One of the most precious possessions that we can ever hope to have is a strong and healthy self-esteem. With it we see life through an entire different set of lens. Getting to like and appreciate ourselves has been called the ultimate seduction. So called because when we have it, little else is needed to make us feel happy. Thus the importance to please the little guy that resides in our brain.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

This quote by Mr. Andretti sums up the messages that can be found in most books on motivation, success or achievement. They are very powerful words that carry an essential message about the science and art of success. However in that quote and in most works treating the subject of achievement one element is blatantly missing.

The teachings of self-improvement focus intensively on attitude but it is sorely lacking on character building. Even with the best attitude in the world, true success is not attainable if there is a character flaw. It would be wrong to say that successful people share the same character traits as those who are still struggling.

To be truly effective, any work done on self-improvement should concentrate more on character building than on attitude, techniques or methods. Before it is possible to achieve, a person has to be the kind of person that can do the type of things that needs to be done in order to get whatever the person is after.

Success is more attracted than pursued. If we ask successful people how they managed to acquire their success, the answer is invariably the same. They will say that it was easy. They cannot even understand why anyone else could not do it. The reason for that is simple. These people were already successes before they became successful.

How can you be a success before you become successful? Success is above all a state of mind. A person who feel like a success will think and act like a successful person and reap the rewards. A person who simply would like to become a success probably won’t achieve more that stay at the level of an “I-would-like-to-be-a-success.”

Maxwell Maltz of psycho-cybernetic fame says, “Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment” To get the things that we want the most, the first thing that need to be done it to change the self-image. In order to do that, a fundamental change in character is required.

If we want to change the results that we get in any area of endeavor, the first thing that must be done is a change in self-image and the only way that a true change in self-image can be affected is by changing our character.

According to Stephen Covey, our character is basically a composite of our habits. So, to changes character and thus change the self-image, we must change our habits; especially change the habitual way that we perceive ourselves.

A new thinking pattern has to be created regarding the self-image. The negative self-views have to be erased from the mind and be replaced by the image of the vibrant, effective and successful person that we basically are. We were born successes; at age three we were the most important person in the world.

Sadly, as time flew by, we experienced setbacks. Instead of experiencing those setbacks as learning experiences, they were viewed as evidences of personal flaws. In many cases, the self-image suffered permanent damages.

Anyone who is serious about a life of success and achievement has to restore that winning self-image. Until that is accomplished, the best intentions and the best techniques on self-improvement are not much more than vague and ephemeral theories. We have to be… before we can do… before we can have.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Stress has been the subject of more than 20,000 scientific studies and according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, stress accounts for two-thirds of family doctor visits and half the deaths to Americans under the age of 65.

So, if stress is such a health hazard, how can it best be avoided? Over three decades of clinical work have shown me that the best possible way of avoiding the effects of stress is to be passionately involved in something that we love to do.

A mind actively involved in pleasant and creative work has no place or time for stress. That is the reason that so many highly successful individuals are still hard at work when it’s way past retirement age. These people have understood that life is about growing and evolving.

So long as a man is happily involved in a self-growth process, there are very few chances that disease will strike. Pleasant work is never health threatening. The mind and the body require exercise. The adage that says, “What you don’t use, you loose” is true. It could be said that the body is more likely to rust-out than wear-out.

Our physiology (body chemistry) is directly affected, either advantageously or adversely, by the mood that we are in. This fact has been confirmed by studying people affected with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.) Patients with that condition may be diabetic under one personality and normal while under another one. Eye color changes along with extreme variations in blood pressure have also been know to occur as the personality changes from one to another.

Another classic that shows the powerful influence of a person’s mood on the healing process is Norman Cousin’s story. Mr. Cousin, a prominent political journalist, author, professor, and world peace advocate, was diagnosed with a form of arthritis then called Marie-Strumpell’s disease (ankylosing spondylitis.) and was told that he had little chance of surviving the condition.

Faced with that very gloomy prognostic, Mr. Cousin decided to leave the hospital and move to a beautiful hotel suite where some of his comedian friends could come and entertain him. To his amazement, he discovered that spending quality time with upbeat people had a very powerful therapeutic effect.

In a matter of months, he completely recovered from the illness and spent the remaining of his life-giving lecture advocating the healing power of laughter. His story was published in a book called, The Anatomy of an Illness and a movie based on the book was made.

Every expert agrees that our moods and feelings have a profound effect of our health and wellbeing. Many forms of arthritis, some cancer and other debilitating diseases are also known to be highly influenced by stress and other emotional disorders. The states of our mind and body are most intimately related. What affects one, affects the other.

The prescription for health is simple. Live your life in a fashion that it provides tons of pleasure and very little pain. It’s the secret for wellbeing and it’s also the description and definition of success.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

We are never too old to expand and grow. What nature has taken away in terms of physical integrity, it has given back on the levels of experience and maturity. The playing field may have changed but the opportunities and possibilities for growth have in no way diminished.

As we grow older, our bag of tool is better equipped, our bank of references is richer and the lights of experiences have replaced the shadows of doubts and incertitude. With maturity come opportunities.

Personal growth is above all a state of mind. The inquisitive mind will find the learning and growing lessons that reside in the petal of a flower, on the snowy peak of mountaintops or in the chips of computers. With the right state of mind, everything is a learning and growing lesson.

If knowledge is a function of growth and self-actualization, achievement is its expression. Knowledge without outward manifestation is moot. Knowing without using has no effect on the growing process. Wisdom without outlet and expression is like a song that no one can hear. Useless.

Personal growth also requires the domination of faith over fear. Faith fosters the necessary expression of life; fear promotes its archenemy, paralysis. Faith gives life the oxygen essential to its survival and expansion. Fear is the cold wind that freezes and paralyses the spark necessary for growth and expansion.

Faith in the future inspires and motivates. It clears doubts and shouts for action. It sustains in rough times and gives wings when the sailing is smooth. Faith is the fuel of achievements and the motor of self-expression. With faith, anything is possible, without it, life is nothing but a struggle for survival. That’s a fight that can only ends in eventual failure.

Life and growth also require the stimulating effects of the winds of changes. They need to experience the diversity of the unknown and the input of new conditions and situations. Growth and wisdom are the fruits of experience. Nothing can grow in the void. Once the juice has been sapped out of an experience, another one is needed to supply a new source of energy and inspiration.

Self-actualization requires succeeding and different challenges. Some of those challenges are graciously offered by life itself. Others are self-created. Both kinds serve a purpose but the latter are the best sources of input and wisdom.

To grow, we need to slay dragons, climb mountains and sail uncharted seas. That is where our resources are taxed to the limits; where true growth is spurred on and new and unsuspected insight flourishes. Those self-imposed challenges are the ultimate fertilizers needed to reach our full potential.

We are work in progress and so long as we remain as such, we are in life-growing mode. The moment that we decide to stop striving and start coasting, we are in deep trouble. The status quo is not an option. Either we grow or we go.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Generally speaking people are in one of three modes. These are, Survival, Vegetating or Mastery modes. The fact that you are reading an article on self-improvement indicates that your target is the Mastery mode. That is the place in life where it is possible to design or create our future. The essential necessities are taken care of. The person has the leisure of choosing where he wants to go and what he wants to do with his life.

If you are fortunate enough to be there already, the world is your oyster and all that you need to do now is to set a life plan and implement it. You are now the Captain of your ship and the Master of your soul. The only thing that you need now is the Ultimate Success formula. That is, 1) Decide what you want. 2) Take action. 3) Notice what’s working or not and, 4) Change your approach until you achieve what you want.

The Survival mode is probably the most common state. Paycheck to paycheck hoping and praying that nothing goes wrong to upset the applecart. Life is acceptable. The good times barely outweigh the bad times. It’s a place where most people hope that somehow, the wind will start blowing in the favor. Chances are it will not — that is unless major changes happen.

If and when those changes come through they will come from within and not from without. In the overwhelming number of cases people are where they are because of the beliefs that they have and the decisions that they took. Unless those beliefs are changed along with the pattern of decision making the situation will remain pretty well the same.

It is said that if all the money in the world was divided equally among everyone, in less than five years, each of us would be right back where we started from. Same with the level of happiness. Outside influences have little to do with how happy a person is. Happiness is a state of mind and, in most cases, not the effect of circumstances.

In order to gravitate from the Survival mode to the Mastery mode a person must change. New and empowering beliefs must be accepted and old disempowering ones discarded. That can be done by studying almost anyone of a thousand books on self-improvement. These books are actually maps that will show the way to the personal changes needed to accede to a higher plateau of personal condition in all its forms. Emotional, spiritual and material.

The last is the Vegetating mode. The name says it all. This category is made up of a very wide variety of situations and conditions. Some people are content to be there, others are not. It is not for us to judge. We can only wish them well.

It is to be noted that many of us have already been in the three different modes. Most of the time, they are not permanent. But, they all have thing in common. Unless we take personal responsibility for whatever mode that we are in, there is very little that we can do to change that mode.

Changes start with accountability. We must take responsibility for the situation and we must take responsibility for the change. If we do that, almost anything is possible. If not, the status quo or a worsening of the situation is inevitable.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

Life is not biographical and the past does not equate the future. With every day that is given us, multiple paths are open to us and, if we so desire, we may decide to follow any of these paths and drastically change the course of our life. I may not be easy, but it’s possible.

It is said that, “A person can recognize a tree by its fruit.” Same with people – same with us. The results that we get in life are the fruits of our actions/decisions and those actions and decisions are the fruits of who we are. If we want to affect major and lasting changes in our lives, we must change who we are.

To change who we are, we must change our character. Stephen Covey said, “Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Change your habits and you change your character.”

Covey’s admonition may not be the easiest route but it’s certainly the safest and most effective. People change from inside out, not by changing the stripes on the Zebra. Changing from inside out means changing the character, changing the stripes on the Zebra simply means using the latest technique or gimmick promoted by some success gurus to get the things that we want out of life.

There are two reasons that people fail to change. First it’s because they don’t believe that it’s possible or they try to do it by using the band-aid solutions so prevalent in the self-improvement culture. We don’t change my altering our behavior, we change by improving our character. A change in behavior will only be temporary unless it is accompanied by a change in character.

To change our character we must decide to raise our standards. We must decide exactly what it is that we will no longer accept from ourselves and make the commitment to change it. This may be hard or it may be relatively easy. It all depends on the level of determination that we have. If we have reached the threshold of tolerance and decide that our old way of life is no longer acceptable, it will be easy. If we are wishy-washy in our resolve, changes will be next to impossible.

We can take responsibility for our life and for the outcome of our actions or we can chose to be a helpless victim. As a victim, we have only the satisfaction to feel that we are not responsible for what happens to us. If we chose to take responsibility, we are in control. Instead of focusing on what is happening to us, we’ll work on what we can do to change it. Most of the time that work will be focused on who we are, on our character or lack thereof.

We recognize a tree by its fruits, and we recognize who we are by the outcomes that we produce. If we want to change those outcomes, first, we must change who we are. Not simply change our behavior but change who we fundamentally are, that is, our character. That is done by changing our habits.

It is never too late. Today is the first day of the rest of our life and where we will be in life ten years from now is determined by what we do today. If we want the great future that we dream of, we must become the great person that we can be.

Life will give us what we expect of it so long as we understand that we are the one who is responsible for the outcomes that awaits us. Dare to change, dare to be great. Be all that you can be and you’ll enjoy the best future that you can possibly have. That is not fiction, it’s reality.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

That is not to say that people are fundamentally negative. Far from it, most people are kind and respectful however, these gentle souls are not the ones who make the most noise and who’s action stand out at the end of the day. The ones that will stand out when all is said and done will be the negative few. At least, this will be the case for the unprepared or ill equipped mind.

Scientific experiences have shown that it take a minimum seventeen positive experiences to erase the sting of a single negative incident. And that is a very conservative view. In some cases a negative experience will leave and indelible scar that will withstand the test of time.

Dale Carnegie relates the incident where, due to youth and inexperience, he wrote a letter to a famous author where he ended the message with the notation, (DBNR) which stands for, “Dictated but not read.” A custom that was used by prominent people at the time. The author returned the letter with the notation, “Your bad manners are only exceeded by your bad manners.” Carnegie said that, to his shame, the only thing that he could remember about that author, when he died twenty five years later, was the hurt that the man had caused him.

Rebukes, criticisms and faintly disguised insults hurt and they can hurt for a lifetime unless a man has develop the wherewithal necessary to handle those negative inputs. It is entirely possible to become impermeable to most negative personal attacks. I say “most” attacks because there will always be people who are very close to us who may retain the ability to push our buttons and manipulate us but those are a small minority.

There are not hundreds of way that we can galvanize ourselves against personal attacks. There is only one. At one time, a solemn decision has to be taken to change the way that we perceive ourselves. From that point on, we will see ourselves as being strong enough to stay above the fray and strong enough to no longer let criticisms and insults affect us. That is something that any mature person can do.

A mature person will understand that words by themselves carry no inherent meaning. As an example, would anyone be hurt if a three years old child said that you were a fool. Of course not. You would be above that. So, if it can be done with a child, why could it not be done with an adult?

Words have no meaning except the meaning that we give them and no one can insult you unless you are willing to accept whatever was said as an insult. We have the final say on how we will accept any opinion or statement. Anyone can have an opinion but we certainly don’t have to share it.

Handling criticism comes down to self-perception and self-perception can be changed. Most of the time it’s a matter or growing up. It is deciding that we are now mature enough and strong enough not to let other’s opinion affect and influence us.

That change in self-perception is a stage in self-growth that every leader and every successful person had to go through at one point in their life. It could be that today is the day that you decide to take the step.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

We were born with noting but potential for growth and favorable predispositions for some talents. It’s one of nature’s laws that as living entities, job number one is to develop as much as we can the gifts that we were given at birth. That natural law says that an organism is either growing and expanding or it is withering and dying. There is no standing still in nature.

Human growth can be done through formal education, through interpersonal interactions or through lived experiences. For most adults, personal growth is done through experiencing and more specifically through the experiences of goals or objective seeking.

A perfect example of that would be someone who’s goal would be to have his own business. In the process of building that business, many challenges will have to be met, the unknown will have to be explored and ingenuity will be sharply tested. The person who started that project will have evolved tremendously by the time that it is up and running. That’s personal growth through the pursuit of goals or objectives.

It also stand to reason that the bigger the goal, the more difficult it is to attain, the more it will offer opportunities for personal growth and self-actualization. All the greats of this world knew that and used it to their advantage. If we study the way that they did it and emulate them we stand a better chance of going farther than we ever thought possible.

One of the most important distinction that the great minds and great achievers did was to attach their objectives to a cause. More specifically, to a cause that was larger and bigger than they were themselves. They understood that being involved in a cause that is bigger than you are will exponientally accelerate your growth and propel you beyond your wildest expectations.

Donald Trump was not only intent on making a fortune. He wanted, to use his own words, “To make a statement.” He wanted to change the landscape of New York City. Arnold Schwarzenegger did not only want to be the best bodybuilder in the world. He wanted to make bodybuilding a respectable sport that would be acceptable to all the levels of society and thus contribute to push the health and fitness ideal throughout the world.

Fighting for a cause that is bigger and larger than we are gives us wings. It sustains, inspire and motivates. It turns ordinary individuals into extraordinary giants. Serving a cause dwarfs personal and individual interests. People are at their best when they stand for an ideal.

Success is meaningless if it does not involve self-actualization. And the ideal way of acquiring both the success and the self-actualization is to amalgamate the personal objectives with a cause larger than self. It does require some imagination, some planning and some thinking outside of the box. But the rewards are phenomenal.

We come this way only once, so we must strive to make the most of it. We were placed on Earth for a purpose and that purpose is one that we get to chose and define for ourselves. Makes it a great cause. That’s what the greats of this world did.

Life is too short to be small. Aim for the sky and you may reach the stars. And, even if you don’t you will have achieved the noblest goal. To be all that you could be. That’s the ultimate goal.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

This article may also be reproduced so long as it is mentioned that it was first published in http://shamoublog.com/

It is acquired the same way that any phobia is contracted. An event that resulted in an emotional trauma happened and that event along with the pain that resulted became closely associated and left an indelible mark on the psyche.

Usually these occurrences happens when the individual is in a fragile mental state and that is the reason that the reaction is totally disproportionate to whatever caused it.

Intellectually we know that the reaction to the fear of rejection is totally disproportionate the possible consequences. A little scratch on the ego never killed anyone however, to the person who suffers from that fear, it feel as if it could. That is the reality of any phobia. An excessive fear from an benign cause.

It is possible to overcome the fear of rejection. It does require some efforts and some motivation but once the condition is eliminated the rewards are incredible. Shackles have been removed and the person is free at last to express himself to his heart’s content.

The elimination of that fear begins with owning up and taking responsibility for the condition. Fear of rejection is not something that we are born with. Unconsciously we have allowed it to permeate our psyche and now its our job to consciously eliminate it.

To do that, we must associate massive pain to being the slave of that fear and associate massive pleasure to being able to live without it. That’s not rocket science. If we associate so much pain to being the slave to the fear of rejection that we reach the threshold to tolerance, we are bound to let it go.

Again, that fear is not something that we were born with. It is not in our DNA. It is not who we are, it’s who we’ve become. Chances are very high that we got infected with that fear through a single incident. We were in a temporary mental state of helplessness… something happened where we felt rejected and humiliated… we were deeply hurt and the phobia of rejection was inoculated in our brain. We contracted it in a moment of helplessness and we can eradicate it with an act of courage.

The moment that we decide that we’ve had enough, that we’ve suffered enough, that it is beyond us, that it is not who we are and that we’re no longer going to put up with it… it will disappear.

Just think of the limitation that it has imposed. The suffering that it has caused. The opportunities that it has destroyed and the hell that it has created and, as if by magic, it will disappear.

The fear of rejection is a toxic poison that ruins lives and destroys hopes. It will make strong men tremble and paralyze the most courageous among us. It curbs possibilities of success and renders void the chances of self-expression and self-actualization. It can and must be destroyed.

That can effectively be done by associating massive pain to being in the throe of that curse and associating massive pleasure to being able to live without it. Legions have already used that technique successfully and so can you. Kill that fear and live free. All that is required is determination, courage and the will to do it.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.

It’s a great book but it’s not very practical. Who can walk around, meet people and try to recall some fifty different rules that should be applied to present a winning personality?

What is needed is a short, concise and to the point formula. Something that will encompass all of what Carnegie and others had to say on the subject. This is what I hope to do in this short essay on the subject.

There are two basic elements upon which a winning personality is based. The first is caring about people and the other one is a close cousin of caring which is, making people feel good about themselves. Sounds easy enough but in actuality, it’s not that simple.

First, we cannot fake about caring. Either we do or we don’t. Any attempt to fake caring is the perfect recipe for disaster. People will see right through it and will be put off by the charade. There is nothing as toxic as a lack of sincerity in human relation so it is to be avoided at all cost.

Caring about people is something that can be learned and it is not all that difficult. We simply have to remind ourselves how important people are. The people that we come in contact with, either directly or indirectly, can make us or break us. They literally hold our future in their hands. They are the ones who will either give us what we want or walk away from us.

If we care about people, they will care about us. There is something contagious about caring. It is the highest compliment that we can give to someone. It means, you are someone important, you matter. It is respect and acceptance all rolled into one. It is the golden rule at its finest. When we care about someone, we are treating that person the way that we would like to be treated. It’s an irresistible magnet.

The next elements needed to have a winning personality is to make people feel good about themselves. One of the primordial human need is significance. We all need to feel that we are important, that we matter. Making someone feeling good about themselves is one of the most effective way to fill that need.

Again, making people feel good about themselves cannot be faked. If we believe that they are worthy, the message will come through naturally. That message will be expressed in body language, in the words that we used and in the tone that we use to express those words. Our deepest feelings have a way of expressing themselves that cannot be denied, missed or misunderstood. The heart speaks louder and more clearly than words ever could.

So, if you want to have a winning personality, truly care about people, make them feel good about themselves… and they’ll think the world of you. That’s what a winning personality is all about.

This Blog can be viewed and debated with the members of Personal Development For Personal Success Forums by clicking here.