It matters little whether we call him Super-ego or Conscience however what does matter is to understand the little guy’s function, how he works and how he can be influenced to intercede in our favor.

One of the problems that we find with that little guy is that he’s very much influenced by the Ego. And that was especially true when we were very young. If for some reason our Ego was bruised by some disparaging remarks, the little guy would take it way too seriously and lower our level of self-esteem and by the same token, our level of self-confidence.

In some cases, those negative remarks came from parents, teachers, friends and peers. Not necessary individuals who were qualified to give valid opinions on the subject of our true worth. However our little guy took those opinions to be the gospel truth and lowered our self-esteem.

So in order to build that self-esteem again, we need to have several talks with the little guy and make him understand that some of those degrading remarks were certainly not warranted and that he has to disregard them.

Early age self-assessment of our worth created a powerful belief regarding our identify and how we perceive ourselves. In cases where a negative self-image was created, the belief has to be changed. That can be accomplished by repeatedly using positive affirmations and by finding evidences that will disprove the original belief. The process might require intense and prolonged efforts but the results can be spectacular.

Every day that we live, our little guy keeps on assessing our performances. His main concern is the level of our commitment to be all that we can be. When we perform as well as we can, he will raise our self-esteem. When we don’t, self-esteem will suffer.

We cannot fool the little guy. He knows when we use excuses and pretexts to cover an unacceptable performance. And he also knows when we assume the victim role to please our ego. Failing to assume personal responsibility for whatever happens to us is seen as a cardinal sin that is simply not acceptable.

What the little guy inside our brain wants to see is for us to face life’s challenges with courage, give our best and be true to ourselves. He understands that there will be setbacks and that we will fail sometimes. In those instances we will not be penalized so long as we acted courageously, performed to the best of our ability and did not shy our responsibilities.

Self-esteem should depend almost exclusively on how we evaluate our performances and to a much lesser extent on the results that we achieve. That is something else that we should make sure that our little guy knows about. He’s the one who sets to tone for the level of our self-esteem but we’re the one who should set the rules.

One of the most precious possessions that we can ever hope to have is a strong and healthy self-esteem. With it we see life through an entire different set of lens. Getting to like and appreciate ourselves has been called the ultimate seduction. So called because when we have it, little else is needed to make us feel happy. Thus the importance to please the little guy that resides in our brain.

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Seriously, if you are willing to invest just ten minutes a day toward achieving your goals using this technique, in less than a few months you’ll be amazed with the results. I know that it works because I’ve used it for over three decades.

The first thing that you need to do is to give yourself the title (and the job) of CEO for a business conglomerate who’s only mission and function is to manage your brain and see to it that it is as productive as it can possibly be.

The second thing that you need to do is to see yourself as two distinct individuals. The first is the CEO whose main function is to define where the conglomerate (which is you) is going, what its goals and objective are and the strategies to get there.

The second person is the manager who will implement the CEO’s strategies. Now it’s very important to respect the integrity of these two persons. When you’re the CEO, you think and act as a CEO and when you’re the manager you only act as a manager.

The reason for that is simple. As a CEO you may have to make demands that the manager may not be quite comfortable with. However, as manager he has no choice in the matter. He simply has to follow the boss’ orders.

At first sight, this role-playing may seem a little silly. So what? It works. That is, it works if you work it. That’s the recipe and like any recipe, if you don’t use all the ingredients the way that they should be used, the finished product will not be what it was supposed to be.

Now that the stage is set, it’s time for the nitty-gritty of the ten minutes exercise. That ten minutes daily period will be devoted to the CEO’s personality and it will consist of working on the conglomerate’s Journal.

No responsible company or organization would even dream of working without a Journal. That’s a book in which the mission of the company is defined. It’s a place where the objectives are recorded along with the strategies necessary to reach these objectives. In the case of a one-person organization that book is called a Personal Planner.

The Personal Planner consist of a small loose leafs binder with separators for the different subjects to be treated. These subjects should include: the overall mission or prime objective of the individual, a list of all the goals with the strategies to reach these goals, a “must do today” list, a list of important contacts along with pertinent info regarding these people. Other items or subjects can also be included if so desired.

Once you’ve created the two personalities (CEO and Manager) and that your Personal Planner is set up, all you have to do is to spend ten minutes a day doing the planning and deciding what should absolutely be done for that day.

The exercise is extremely simple in it’s application and will give tremendous results so long as both personalities take their function seriously and conscientiously. Running a large conglomerate or a single individual only differs in the size of the organization. The principles are the same and so should be the methodology.

Take yourself seriously, manage and conduct yourself in a professional way and you will reap outstanding results. It cannot fail. The best of luck… and see you at the top.

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Were they born with that belief? Certainly not. We are born with instincts but beliefs are acquired. Beliefs are the results of teachings, observations and auto-suggestions. People can get themselves to believe almost anything that they want. It is done by the constant repetitions of a specific theme. A technique called affirmations.

Those of us who are old enough to remember Muhammad Ali in his younger days have had a perfect example of how a belief can be created. Mr. Ali kept on repeating, “I am the greatest.” He said it so many times that, not only did he get to believe it, soon the entire world believed it also.

Before they ever got to be great, all the great men and women had to believe that they were entitled. They had to believe that they were born to be great. That’s what gave them the energy, the drive and the wherewithal to become great. They had certainty, the winner’s edge, working for them.

That sense of entitlement and certainty is not a special gift reserved to the chosen few. It is a tool that is available to anyone who is willing to put in the time and effort to create it for themselves.

Anyone who has read a biography of Sylvester Stallone has seen what belief in self can do. Stallone had infallible faith in his capacity to become a premier movie actor when nobody gave him the shadow of a chance to seriously get into the movies business in the first place.

Lately, we have seen Barack Obama do the same thing. A very unlikely candidate for the Presidency. Could Mr. Obama have done it if he ever had one doubt that he could not do it? Very unlikely. He felt destined to break through the color barrier and reach to highest office in the world. And he did it.

Faith in ourselves and a sense of certainty are the corner stones upon which personal success is founded. Unfortunately there is no place in the arena of achievement for the timid or wavering soul. Life is either an act of courage or one of desperation. Either we surf the waves or struggle to stay afloat.

We were all born with a clean slate upon which we were given dominion. Who and what we believe to be is inscribed on that slate. Most of it was written for us by family and peers. It was originally accepted through suggestions from others. We were told that we were that we possessed certain characteristics and we accepted that.

That slate is not cast in bronze. We are free to change or remove whatever does not serve us as it should. As we expand and grow, this slate must be updated to conform to today’s reality. The beliefs about our personal identity must change as we do. Yesterday’s truth has to be changed to conform to today’s reality.

We were all conceived to fulfill a special mission. A mission for which we were entitled special gifts. Both the mission and the gifts are encompassed in the dream life that we have imagined for ourselves. Our primal task is to find that mission and fully exploit those gifts. We have already been divinely entitled. Now it’s our job to turn the gifts and dream into reality.

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Stress has been the subject of more than 20,000 scientific studies and according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, stress accounts for two-thirds of family doctor visits and half the deaths to Americans under the age of 65.

So, if stress is such a health hazard, how can it best be avoided? Over three decades of clinical work have shown me that the best possible way of avoiding the effects of stress is to be passionately involved in something that we love to do.

A mind actively involved in pleasant and creative work has no place or time for stress. That is the reason that so many highly successful individuals are still hard at work when it’s way past retirement age. These people have understood that life is about growing and evolving.

So long as a man is happily involved in a self-growth process, there are very few chances that disease will strike. Pleasant work is never health threatening. The mind and the body require exercise. The adage that says, “What you don’t use, you loose” is true. It could be said that the body is more likely to rust-out than wear-out.

Our physiology (body chemistry) is directly affected, either advantageously or adversely, by the mood that we are in. This fact has been confirmed by studying people affected with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.) Patients with that condition may be diabetic under one personality and normal while under another one. Eye color changes along with extreme variations in blood pressure have also been know to occur as the personality changes from one to another.

Another classic that shows the powerful influence of a person’s mood on the healing process is Norman Cousin’s story. Mr. Cousin, a prominent political journalist, author, professor, and world peace advocate, was diagnosed with a form of arthritis then called Marie-Strumpell’s disease (ankylosing spondylitis.) and was told that he had little chance of surviving the condition.

Faced with that very gloomy prognostic, Mr. Cousin decided to leave the hospital and move to a beautiful hotel suite where some of his comedian friends could come and entertain him. To his amazement, he discovered that spending quality time with upbeat people had a very powerful therapeutic effect.

In a matter of months, he completely recovered from the illness and spent the remaining of his life-giving lecture advocating the healing power of laughter. His story was published in a book called, The Anatomy of an Illness and a movie based on the book was made.

Every expert agrees that our moods and feelings have a profound effect of our health and wellbeing. Many forms of arthritis, some cancer and other debilitating diseases are also known to be highly influenced by stress and other emotional disorders. The states of our mind and body are most intimately related. What affects one, affects the other.

The prescription for health is simple. Live your life in a fashion that it provides tons of pleasure and very little pain. It’s the secret for wellbeing and it’s also the description and definition of success.

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The science of physic has shown us how to overcome personal stagnation. When the internal force is greater than the restraining resistance, that internal force will break through and express itself. When we apply this rule to our Personal Power, it means that if the motivation is greater than the restraining fears, action is inevitable.

That being said, the question that begs to be ask is, “What is the best possible way of increasing our motivation?” Napoleon Hill, in his book, Think and Grow Rich, gives us a clue when he talks about sexual transmutation or how to use the sexual drive for greater achievements.

One of the greatest aphrodisiac is success. That impulse was implanted in our genes at the dawn of the evolutionary process. Success meant ascension in the hierarchy of the clan and with it came a better choice in the gene pool. Those who were near the top of the hierarchy had first choice among the most desirable mates and those who were lower on the scale had to settle for what was available.

That impulse is still with us today and it can still be used in a most productive and motivating way. Success is a tremendous aphrodisiac albeit, not a conscious one since it is genetically linked. To become truly effective, that genetically linked power of attraction must be consciously explored and exploited.

By associating success to its power of sexual attraction, the desire to succeed becomes highly enhanced and creates an explosive source of motivation. Who would not be highly motivated by the thought of becoming more sexually appealing?

The type of sex appeal that we are talking about here is known more commonly as charisma; a term that has the same connotation but that is non-threatening. Emancipated people will readily admit that charismatic is sexy and those same people will unabashedly admit that they would do just about anything to be as sexually attractive as possible. Nothing wrong with that.

Evidently, what we are talking about here is the power that being sexually attractive provides and not the misuse of that power. This is about Personal Power, motivation and success. It has absolutely nothing to do with philandering, lack of integrity or lack of morality.

The search for sexual attraction, charisma or whatever you want to call it takes many forms. It goes from cosmetic surgeries to display of wealth and from tanning salons to crash diets and on to murderous pace in the gym. However, there is only one way that it can be used as high octane for Personal Power. That is done by taking note of the fact that success, in all of its forms, is actually one of the most potent aphrodisiac under the sun.

With that in mind, the quest for success becomes its own motivator. Success brings charisma and charisma brings success. It’s the self-stroking duo that generates enough energy, enthusiasm and motivation to break down the barriers of procrastination. With procrastination out of the way, Personal Power, or the ability to take action, is finally loose and success is just a breath away.

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That may be a sound moral lesson to teach children; unfortunately it has nothing to do with reality. Our actions have consequences. Most of the time there will a price to pay for unacceptable behavior but there are no guaranteed that good behavior will in any way protect us against misery and heartaches.

This is in no way an indictment against a good moral lesson but it is a wakeup call to reality. If being good and nice is not a reward in itself, there are absolutely no guarantees that it will be rewarded otherwise.

Bad things can be avoided by being smart and wise and not by being good and nice. If truth were told, there is some truth to the adage that says that nice guys finish last. Now, that does need some explanation.

There is a huge difference between having and following a strong moral code and being good. A strong moral code is a trait of character whereas being good implies having a good disposition.

In a professional life, having a strong moral code is always an asset however the tendency to be overly nice and good can be a serious liability. The business world is not ruled by sentiments. It is ruled by good judgment and a sense of fairness.

With good judgment and fairness, equity rules. When sentiments rule, chaos and disruptions are bound to happen. Again, this may sound harsh but it’s the reality that we have to live with.

That being said, it must be added that, if being good is done for the sake of being good, and it does not interfere with good judgment and a sense of fairness, it can bring a tremendous sense of satisfaction and personal happiness.

It is said that no good deed will go unrewarded. That may be true and it probably is. But being good to prevent bad things from happening to us simply is not sound and mature judgment.

When bad things happen to us, and they will, it’s not a sign that we’re being punished for something bad that we did. It is just the Universe unfolding as it should. We are all part of the grand scheme of things, most of which we cannot understand. So it is not for us to pass judgment on the value of life’s vagaries and caprices.

In many cases, what seemed to be major catastrophes at the time, turnout to be blessings in disguise. We can only view events with limited lenses. It is only with hindsight that the true nature of those seemingly bad events can be disclosed.

We have limited control over our ultimate faith. Nothing that we can say or do will protect us completely from bad experiences. However, when so called “bad luck” happens, we should certainly not see that as being a form of punishment for past bad deeds. It probably has nothing to do with faults of our own.

What we can do though, is to try to learn from those regretful incidents and do whatever that we can to grow as a result the hindsight that it has given us.

Being a good and caring person has its own inherent reward. It may not prevent the bad but it will enhance the good. So, let’s live by the golden rule and hope for the best.

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We are never too old to expand and grow. What nature has taken away in terms of physical integrity, it has given back on the levels of experience and maturity. The playing field may have changed but the opportunities and possibilities for growth have in no way diminished.

As we grow older, our bag of tool is better equipped, our bank of references is richer and the lights of experiences have replaced the shadows of doubts and incertitude. With maturity come opportunities.

Personal growth is above all a state of mind. The inquisitive mind will find the learning and growing lessons that reside in the petal of a flower, on the snowy peak of mountaintops or in the chips of computers. With the right state of mind, everything is a learning and growing lesson.

If knowledge is a function of growth and self-actualization, achievement is its expression. Knowledge without outward manifestation is moot. Knowing without using has no effect on the growing process. Wisdom without outlet and expression is like a song that no one can hear. Useless.

Personal growth also requires the domination of faith over fear. Faith fosters the necessary expression of life; fear promotes its archenemy, paralysis. Faith gives life the oxygen essential to its survival and expansion. Fear is the cold wind that freezes and paralyses the spark necessary for growth and expansion.

Faith in the future inspires and motivates. It clears doubts and shouts for action. It sustains in rough times and gives wings when the sailing is smooth. Faith is the fuel of achievements and the motor of self-expression. With faith, anything is possible, without it, life is nothing but a struggle for survival. That’s a fight that can only ends in eventual failure.

Life and growth also require the stimulating effects of the winds of changes. They need to experience the diversity of the unknown and the input of new conditions and situations. Growth and wisdom are the fruits of experience. Nothing can grow in the void. Once the juice has been sapped out of an experience, another one is needed to supply a new source of energy and inspiration.

Self-actualization requires succeeding and different challenges. Some of those challenges are graciously offered by life itself. Others are self-created. Both kinds serve a purpose but the latter are the best sources of input and wisdom.

To grow, we need to slay dragons, climb mountains and sail uncharted seas. That is where our resources are taxed to the limits; where true growth is spurred on and new and unsuspected insight flourishes. Those self-imposed challenges are the ultimate fertilizers needed to reach our full potential.

We are work in progress and so long as we remain as such, we are in life-growing mode. The moment that we decide to stop striving and start coasting, we are in deep trouble. The status quo is not an option. Either we grow or we go.

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With a single image, a metaphor can represent an entire concept. Perfect examples of that would be the cross, the flag or even the logo of any corporation. Logos or metaphors are very powerful communication agents. A simple image can inspire anything from pride to shame as it can elevate the heart or crush the spirit. It can say more than a thousand words could yet it can be fully grasped in the flash of the eye.

The metaphoric logo is actually a power tool. A tool that can accomplish much more and say much more in an instant than would otherwise be possible by taking hours while using other means of communication. Not only does it have the capacity to work faster but it can also leave a profound and indelible mark on the psyche that would not be possible through other means.

In the art and science of self-improvement, the metaphoric logo is particularly effective in what could be called self-branding. That is where a specific image is used to represent who we are. The practice is often used on forum sites where members use an avatar, instead of an actual photo, to represent themselves.

Usually the avatar represents some characteristics by which the member may be identified much the same way that an organization or a corporation will chose a logo to represent itself.

The avatar or logo will stimulate the imagination and create an entire concept around a single image. A good example of that is the ways that Americans utilize the Bald Eagle as a national symbol. Without using a single word, that Eagle represents strength, power, freedom and most of that Nation’s values.

By choosing and identifying with an image that represents certain qualities that we would like to acquire a symbiosis occurs and a transformation takes place at the subliminal level. It’s a well-known and proven fact that we tend to gravitate toward whatever we identify with.

The phenomena of transformation through association is often seen in people who join new groups or association. In a matter of months the transformation, for better or for worse, can be staggering. The internal mechanism works the same for an imaginary association as it does for a genuine or real one.

To a large extent, we are the product of what we perceive ourselves to be. Our perceived identity determines our behavior. By changing that identity through image association we also change our behavior and the course of our lives.

The transformational process through identification with an image is a simple one. First an image that represents our ideal-self must be found. In some cases it might be an animal, an object or any symbol that is representative. Then that image must be place where it can be easily seen many times throughout the day. Soon, as if per magic, an association will build up. The representative image starts a subliminal transformation of the way that the person sees himself and the change in self-perception operates automatically.

Metaphors, logos, avatars and self-branding are power tools at our disposal. They are just waiting for us to use them in a constructive and self-improving way. Find yours and see miracles at happen.

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Selling is an art who got a bad rap. The popular image that conjures up the word “salesman” is that of a fast talking and slick individual who will try to take advantage of us at all cost or that of someone who was trained to provide us with answers we may have about a product and fill in the purchase order if we decide to buy.

Salesmanship is much more than that. Basically, it is the ability to convince but ideally it is ability to win other’s approval and acceptance and do it on a consistent and long term basis. That cannot be achieved through shady and deceitful practices. It has to be done with integrity and high moral standards.

Books have been written about the art of selling however these books cover a subject that can be reduced to these three words. Don’t sell, serve.

Don’t sell, serve, means provide value. It means, when trying to convince someone, don’t try to take advantage but seek to provide value. It means putting other’s interest above your own. Basically it means, seek to contribute in helpful way.

When viewed in this light, the art of selling or convincing becomes something noble. Something that is being done by the greatest among us. It is a very small yet very meaningful distinction. One that empowers and boost the self-image and self-confidence. It adds a dimension of personal worthiness that cannot be denied.

However, in order to be effective, the admonition, don’t sell serve, has to be attached to a trait of character and not seen as an effective gimmick. It has to be genuine and sincere. It has to be an attitude and not a process. It has to spring from the heart and not from the mind.

The desire to serve has to be genuine because the motive and the fundamental intent always dominate the communication. When trying to communicate, the words chosen weigh little compared to the underlying motive. We cannot fake honesty and sincerity. The true intent always come across. Bottom line is, it’s not what we say but who we are that will determine the overall effect of our communication.

That being said, it becomes evident that the art of selling or influencing people boils down to personal values. It has to do with personal character. So, if we want to master the art of influencing people we must begin by working on who we are and not on how we should act or behave.

The greats of this world have understood this. They will not try to cut corners or used shortcuts. Rather, they will seek to do what is basically right. That way, goodwill will be fostered, personal bonds will be created and the overall results will be positive and lasting.

We go through life selling. We have no choice in the matter but we do have a choice in the way that we do it. It can be done with the desire to serve and it can be done in a self-serving way. It’s a question of character and intent. We may serve and grow or manipulate and struggle. The choice is ours and so are the results.

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The story of evolution is a tale of struggle. That’s how the first living cell that existed some four billion years ago eventually became man as we know him today. Struggle is how we came to be and struggle is how we expand and grow. A lesson that we tend to forget.

Years ago, we had no choice. Man had to fight for his very survival. Things have changed. In today’s world it’s relatively easy to find a secure niche and vegetate in a seemingly secure environment. However vegetating is not the reason that we placed on Planet Earth. As part of the Grand Scheme of Things, we were placed here to expand and to grow in order to contribute to the continuum of life.

The ultimate purpose of life is to extend life and that can only be done through growth because, in nature, nothing stands still. There is either growth or stagnation and decay. It’s a law of physic and it’s a law of nature. There is no escaping it. Yet, even though we are aware of that fact, the temptation to try circumvent it and maintain the status quo is prevalent.

The reason that the status quo seems attractive is that it mirrors the promise of security. It is a common belief that the evil that we know is not as bad as the evil that we don’t know. There are at least two things wrong with that beliefs. First it’s a false assumption and second it’s a very limiting belief.

Life is sustained and expanded by experiencing life. Efforts are required to keep the physical body fit and challenges are required to keep the mind fit, sharp and expanding. Nothing grows in a vacuum. Opposing forces have to be met, challenged and overcome for growth to happen and that cannot be found in the comfort zone.

Wise men have understood this fundamental truth. That is the reason that most of them are still active and still meeting challenges way past retirement age. The human body does not wear out, it rust out. The human mind is not weakened through activity, it feeds and expand on it.

Helen Keller said, “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

She is right. Nothing is certain and security does not really exist but there is a way of maximizing our chances of being secure and that is by maximizing our personal resources. That is done by meeting challenges, overcoming obstacles and slaying dragons. It’s done by meeting life heads on, pushing our faculties to the limits and in the process, expanding and growing.

We come this way only once and every effort should be made to experience all the flavors that life has to offer. That can only be done by traveling the high roads of human endeavors. By becoming all that we can be and by achieving all that we are capable off. That’s the secret of a fulfilling life. It’s the only way that, when the final curtain falls, no regrets will be there to haunt us. That precious life that was given us will have been lived to its fullest.

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