That may be a sound moral lesson to teach children; unfortunately it has nothing to do with reality. Our actions have consequences. Most of the time there will a price to pay for unacceptable behavior but there are no guaranteed that good behavior will in any way protect us against misery and heartaches.

This is in no way an indictment against a good moral lesson but it is a wakeup call to reality. If being good and nice is not a reward in itself, there are absolutely no guarantees that it will be rewarded otherwise.

Bad things can be avoided by being smart and wise and not by being good and nice. If truth were told, there is some truth to the adage that says that nice guys finish last. Now, that does need some explanation.

There is a huge difference between having and following a strong moral code and being good. A strong moral code is a trait of character whereas being good implies having a good disposition.

In a professional life, having a strong moral code is always an asset however the tendency to be overly nice and good can be a serious liability. The business world is not ruled by sentiments. It is ruled by good judgment and a sense of fairness.

With good judgment and fairness, equity rules. When sentiments rule, chaos and disruptions are bound to happen. Again, this may sound harsh but it’s the reality that we have to live with.

That being said, it must be added that, if being good is done for the sake of being good, and it does not interfere with good judgment and a sense of fairness, it can bring a tremendous sense of satisfaction and personal happiness.

It is said that no good deed will go unrewarded. That may be true and it probably is. But being good to prevent bad things from happening to us simply is not sound and mature judgment.

When bad things happen to us, and they will, it’s not a sign that we’re being punished for something bad that we did. It is just the Universe unfolding as it should. We are all part of the grand scheme of things, most of which we cannot understand. So it is not for us to pass judgment on the value of life’s vagaries and caprices.

In many cases, what seemed to be major catastrophes at the time, turnout to be blessings in disguise. We can only view events with limited lenses. It is only with hindsight that the true nature of those seemingly bad events can be disclosed.

We have limited control over our ultimate faith. Nothing that we can say or do will protect us completely from bad experiences. However, when so called “bad luck” happens, we should certainly not see that as being a form of punishment for past bad deeds. It probably has nothing to do with faults of our own.

What we can do though, is to try to learn from those regretful incidents and do whatever that we can to grow as a result the hindsight that it has given us.

Being a good and caring person has its own inherent reward. It may not prevent the bad but it will enhance the good. So, let’s live by the golden rule and hope for the best.

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There is no doubt that this essence of dignity could be a tremendous asset in a personal and professional life. Some people were lucky enough to have that characteristic inbred through upbringing or education. Others had to acquire it through personal effort and dedication. It is not something that we are born with. It is acquired and it can be acquire by anyone who is willing to put in the time and efforts to do it.

Granted there are different levels that can be reached while pursuing actively or instinctively the essence of dignity. Be it as it may, it is always possible to improve our personal condition and there are specific ways that it can be done.

First, there is self-respect. A person who has little respect for himself cannot have much respect for others. Self-respect or the absence of it is contagious. We can only give what we own. Anyone who thinks otherwise is being mislead. Self-respect and respect for others is rooted in the belief of the sanctity of man. It is either universal or non-existent.

Self-respect is self-acceptance. With self-acceptance we may see that we are not perfect but we understand that we are perfect as we are. We are who we were meant to be and as such we are worthy of respect and consideration from self and from others.

Second is culture. There are various ways that this can be acquired. Formal schooling might be the ideal way of acquiring it but it is certainly not the only way. Sammy David Jr. never attended one day of formal schooling yet he was remarkably refined, educated and cultivated.

With today’s opportunities and technologies, anyone can improve his education and his intellectual baggage. The places and people that we frequent can also be extremely enlightening. The simple act of reading a meaningful article a day can, over the years, dramatically improve the quality of our intellect.

Next is the image that we present to the world. Before we’ve had the chance of saying a single word, our appearance has already said volumes about us. Our appearance makes the first and one of the strongest statement. Consciously or not, this his where people start to judge and catalog us. What they see is what they believe that we are.

There might little that we can do to change the body that we were given but we have every control over the way that we dress that body and over the expression that the face will wear. The ultimate test to see if we are at our best is the mirror. Look in the mirror and ask a simple question, “Would I trust that person with my life?” If the answer is yes, you’re doing good. If it’s no, you know that you have to do something if you ever hope to be all that you can be.

The essence of dignity is a great enabling tool. It opens doors, creates confidence and trust. It has been called the stairway to greatness. It should not be dismissed as something trivial. It’s one of the component of success and we were all given the basic tools to improve and perfect it. All that is required to do so is a little patience and a fair amount of work.

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There are two major elements that shape us and direct our behavior. These are, the way we see the world and our belief system. Our view of the world is the terrain on which we navigate by using our beliefs system which is the map that we use to reach our target or intended destination.

Each of us has a very definite view or understanding of the world that we live in. Einstein has said, “Man tries to make for himself in the fashion that suits him best a simplified and intelligible picture of the world.” Everyone of us has a personal understanding of the world that we live in and that is the world that we feel that we must deal with.

Whether our view of the world is accurate or not does not alter the fact that it is the world that we are traveling through and that we must deal with. Our view of the world is our reality. It is what we feel that we must contend with. It shapes and direct our decisions, if affects the way we think, act and react.

The map that will guide us through our view of the world is our belief system. Each of us has fundamental beliefs about almost everything. What life is, who we are, what our role on Planet Earth is. We have fundamental beliefs about every subjects that has any influence on us and on society as a whole.

Again, those beliefs may be accurate or not but they are still the map that will be used to navigate through our conception of the world. That is the map that we use to get to our target and that target is to fill our primary needs.

As humans, we have six primaries needs that have to be filled. They are:

1. Certainty. We need to feel relatively secure.
2. Uncertainty. If we could predict everything, life would be so boring as to be unlivable.
3. Significance. We need to feel that we count, that we matter.
4. Connection and love. We need to feel that we belong.
5. Growth. Personal growth is a basic instinct that we all share.
6. Contribution. A normal person has a primal need to contribute in some way to society.

One of these needs is always more important for us than the others and will constitute our primary target or intended destination port.

As an example, let’s take the case of someone who’s dominant need would be significance. That person has a major need to feel the he is special, that he matters, that he really counts as an individual. The way that he fills that need will be the prime director of his behavior.

That person has and understanding of the world, that’s the terrain that he must navigate to reach his target which is significance. That person also has a map that will direct him in that journey and that’s his fundamental beliefs. And it is the interaction of the world view, the beliefs and the intended target that will determine his behavior.

This may not be an easy concept to grasp. It does take time and reflection before we can fully understand it. For those who are interested in pursuing some research on the subject, the following video of a TED conference by Anthony Robbins will provide invaluable help.

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That is true in physic and its also true in life. Before attempting to fill. or occupy, a larger place in life, first, we must completely fill the one that we are presently holding. It’s a fundamental axiom but one that is almost universally ignored.

Ambitious people want to move ahead. They want to be promoted or occupy a larger and more important role. So they dream, hope and make plans and nothing happens. Nothing happens because they did not know or forgot that before they can fill a larger place, first, the one presently being occupied must be filled.

Contrary to popular beliefs, there is plenty of room at the top. It is the bottom wrung that is crowded and overfilled. Small and large corporations and institutions have to pay head hunters to fill top executive positions. Leaders are needed in every sphere of our economic world. There is a vacuum at that level that is begging to be filled.

The opportunities are there but the viable candidates are few. Why is that? It is due to the fact that a fundamental lesson has not been learned yet. That lesson is the fact that before aspiring to a larger place in life, the one that is being occupied must be completely be filled.

There is a saying that says that you can’t keep a good man down. When someone exceed the level of competence necessary to fill a position, the one at the next level will automatically open up. It’s a law of life. Water seeks it own level so does man.

What you do and how you do it cannot be separated from who you are. The power that be knows that. Outstanding performances leave clues. . Exceptional workers shine. They are noticed and promoted.

No matter what your occupation is, it provides you with the opportunity to express yourself. It’s the best way to broadcast what you are all about and to tell the world what you are made of. So, if you want to climb the corporate ladder, first you must totally fill your present position and thus show that you have the potential to fill a larger role.

In today’s competitive world, being good at what you do simply means that you can easily be replaced. Being excellent will not get you a promotion. You were already expected to be excellent. If you want to climb, if you want to be singled out to be promoted, you must be outstanding. That’s were the money is.

If you read biographies you will find out that most of the top positions in the corporate world and in the entrepreneurial world are filled with people who started at the bottom of the ladder. They gave great performances, they were noticed and gravitated to their level – that is, to the top echelons.

Being good at what a person does is dime a dozen and will not get you anywhere. Being excellent is only what is expected and will attract no attention. But being outstanding is what opens doors. It’s the way to success, it’s the way to the top. So, if you are ambitious and want to succeed, go all out, play hard and totally fill the place that you are presently holding, be outstanding and soon, the world will by your oyster.

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Unless a fundamental change is made in our way of thinking, no lasting change is possible. To affect changes, first we must raise our standards. We must decide what will no longer be acceptable in our life. Fundamental beliefs must be changed. The way we perceive ourselves must be changed.

So long as a person sees himself as being powerless in front of a situation, that situation will persist. A timid person who sees himself as being timid will remain timid so as long as that belief is held. Same for overeating, smoking, alcohol or drug addiction etc…

In order to be able to change a belief, first we must understand what a belief is. A belief is noting but a notion supported by evidences. A timid person has had occurrences in his past where he acted and reacted in a timid way. Today, those occurrences serve as evidences that he is a timid person.

However, if that person puts his mind to it, he can find many instances when he reacted with exemplar self-assuredness. It could have been while playing sport, while he was angry or with friends. But in anyone’s life there were ample instances where timidity was out of the picture that a solid bank of references can be accumulated to create the belief that, indeed, that person is not fundamentally timid but only reacted this way in certain occasions.

With some modest efforts, new beliefs can be created to replace old and disempowering ones. That is what raising personal standards is all about. It’s changing the way that a person sees himself.

We always react as we perceive ourselves to be. There is no more powerful mechanism to control the behavior than identity. Acting contrary to what we perceive ourselves to be is extremely difficult and painful. We always seek to maintain our identity at all cost.

So, to affect a lasting change, we must change our identity or how we perceive ourselves to be. At first it could be seen as an impossible task but, if we look around us we see evidences that it is being done all the time.

It usually happens when someone has had enough and really decide to change. We see it when someone decides to end a bad relationship. At one point that person decided he or she was no longer the type of person who would stand the abuses. That person raised its standard, changed beliefs and identity and finally left.

Same process with the person who quit a dead end job, goes back to school and gets a new beginning or the person who decided that he would no longer be bullied, starts to assert himself and wins the respect of others.

It is very possible to affect major changes in our life is we are ready to raise our standards, change our beliefs and adopt a new self-image.

Is it easy? It is as hard or as easy as we want to make it out to be. It depends on our level of determination. If changes is something that we “should” do, chances are that it will not happen. But, if it’s something that we “must” do, change is inevitable and best of all, it will be easier than we ever thought possible.

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One thing that a good seminar will do is to get you boosted and fired up. You come back with the feeling that you could take on the world. You’ve taken notes, you’ve set up goals, you’ve made plans, you have that list of things to do, what you’re going to change and what steps you’re going to take to reach the next plateau in your professional life.

There are things that you will change and chances are that you will see a dramatic increase in business for a few weeks and maybe a month or two. But as time passes there is a tendency to get back to the level that you were before taking the seminar.

Easy come, easy go says the old proverb. And that is very true as far as seminars are concerned. Your state of mind has been changed for a period of time but the effect of the seminar has not been wired in your brain. So is bound to partially disappear with time.

Something else that those seminars will do is that you will meet some very successful people. If you play your cards right, you may bond with these exceptional people and friendships may develop. Those friendships will become tremendous assets.

It is a well known fact that you eventually gravitate to become like the people that you hang around with. Hang around with winners and you’ll become a winner, hang around with losers and down the drain you go. So, if you are smart, you will nurture the relation with those that you would like to model and emulate.

Seminars will also force you to expand your horizon and open new vistas for you. You will see and hear what others have done and you probably will realize that you have been setting your goals and objectives too low. After all, if the guys sitting next to you at the seminar could do it, why could you not also do it yourself? That old testosterone will kick in and chances are that it will be a wakeup call for you.

There is no question that seminars are great and if you are serious about succeeding you certainly should take some. There is money involved but it is well worth it if you follow these rules.

1. A good seminar will open the doors for you and will get you all fired up but that feeling has to be actively sustained through daily motivational sessions. Those sessions can be done by reading motivational material, listening to tapes, CDs or videos or even reading the notes that you took at the seminar. Enthusiasm is like a fire it will soon die unless it is regularly fed.

2. Keep in touch with the new friends or contacts that you’ve made at the seminar through networking at least once a week. Share you goals and objectives with these people. It will heighten your commitments It will make sure that you keep your eyes on the ball and go through with your plans.

3. Don’t try to teach what you’ve learned at the seminar to anyone. This may sound strange but it is a very important element that must be respected if you want to really benefit from your seminar.

The reason for that is the fact that you probably will be so impressed with what you got out of that seminar that you’ll feel that the whole world should know about it. So, instead of applying that technology yourself, you will waste your time and energy trying to teach it to other. Remember that you really “got” that information because you were in the seminar’s atmosphere and that is something that cannot be replicated in the settings of everyday life.

So, keep that technology and knowledge to yourself until you have achieved your goals and objectives… and then, go out and transform the world if you still want to do it.

Some seminar experiences are elementary and essential to pave the path to success. Whatever money you invest in yourself will never be lost and will pay great dividend, if, and only if, you follow the above rules.

It is said that what you don’t know cannot hurt you. That is false. Success is a science and not a fluke. The “how” to succeed has to be learned and a motivational seminar is a great place to start. It may only be the first step to success… but you know what they say about a journey of a thousand miles, it starts with the first step.

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The word intimidation is used here because it conveys a more dynamic image than the word impress but both words could be used to define the process advocated in this page. The object of the process is to magnify the personal image to empower and give more credence to the person using it.

Knowledge and competence are great assets but in order to be fully exploited they must be presented with a striking or at least an exceptional personal image. William Sidis was probably the world smartest man with an IQ estimated to be between 250 and 300 yet he never amounted to anything. The man died at age 56, broke and alone. Why? For two reasons, he could not connect with his peers and had zero charisma or well packaged personal image.

Every society is composed of overlapping social hierarchies. Those who stand at the top of a particular hierarchy will dominate and those at the bottom will be dominated. Some hierarchy are important others are of secondary nature. Sidis was at the top of the academic hierarchy but he was at the bottom on the social hierarchy. His exceptional intelligence propelled him at the top of the academic world but his lack of a positive personal image kept him from ever achieving business professional or even artistic success.

To succeed, a person needs content (knowledge and abilities) and a positive and compelling personal image. Some have succeeded with out one of these two elements but they are the rare exceptions. That is especially true in the cases where people were lacking the proper personal image. The world is full of obscure genius who never made it because the could not “sell” to the world what they had to offer.

Life is perception and perception is mostly determined by images. It is not surprising that most successful people will be somewhat preoccupied with the image that they project. They understand its importance and its value.

In the animal world, the alpha male will always be the most impressive of the pack. Thanks to the level of his intelligence, man has been able to transcend that situation. The alpha male or female are not always the most impressive physically but they do project the superior image. And, whether you like it or not, that is the art of winning through intimidation.

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The process is completely automatic but will color all the subsequent encounters that we’ll be having with that person. Our first impression will be a lasting one. That is why it is said that it’s impossible to make a second good first impression when meeting someone.

The question almost never arises as to whether that first impression was accurate or not. Invariably we will trust the initial impression and that can lead to faulty evaluations and great learning experiences missed.

No one will argue the value of having an open mind which would also mean that an inquisitive doubt is vastly superior to an indolent assurance. Whenever we are certain about anything, we no longer question it. Not a very wise thing to do if we consider that everything changes all the time. What was true yesterday might not still be true today.

A true scientist will never assert that anything is the truth. A true scientist will always allow for the possibility that some unknown factor might not have been taken in an equation and that what we see a the truth might not be so. Absolutes are not accepted by scientists and they should not be accepted by the rational mind.

Robert Pirsig said in effect that, some scientific truths seem to last for centuries, others for less than a year. Scientific truth is not dogma, good for eternity, but a temporal quantitative entity that can be studied like anything else.

So if scientific truths are temporary, it would stand to reason that opinions, notions and beliefs could certainly stand some questioning from time to time.

Knowing that we might not know is vastly superior and more accurate than holding an obstinate assurance. Certainty might bring assurance but it can also lead to a close mind and the inability to learn, expand and grow.

It is said that the only things that will not change are death and taxes. It may have been said in jest but there is certainly a lot of truth in there. At least… I think so…

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Basically we are not pragmatic creatures of logic. Dale Carnegie said, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” Whether we like it or not, Carnegie was basically right. We start out primarily as emotional being but it does not mean that we don’t have the capacity to evolve and grow.

Growth is essential if we have any hope of influencing others into our way of thinking. A statement inspired by anger has no chance of being taken constructively. The anger comes through but the rhetoric falls flat. The message becomes overshadowed by the spirit that formulated it.

Effective communication is difficult enough that it does not need to be clouded any further by emotional knee jerk reactions.

People will be further swayed into holding previously held beliefs by emotional appeals but that technique will be counterproductive if a change of perspective is sought.

Anger is such a powerful emotion that the message that it sends completely obliterate the effectiveness of the words that accompanies it. Anger represents the possibility of danger and warding off that danger becomes the priority.

When trying to convince, the mature mind will reach beyond the world of negative emotions to get its message across. The mature mind understand that anger implies a sense of inadequacy and insecurity. Anger is the last resource when everything else has failed and danger is eminent. Not the hallmark of a strong and resourceful person.

Cerebral and not emotional. Reason before passion. The keywords in debating, the keywords when seeking to advance an agenda, implementing a point of view or changing someone’s mind. That is what great leaders do and they do it because they know that it works.

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Life truly is a gift. It’s by far the most important gift of all. Sadly, it is not always seen that way. Many of us have a scenario depicting exactly what life should be and if the scenario does not unfold according to plans, depression, sadness, resentment and a sense of failure ensues.

Does that mean that we should not have goals and objective or that we should not strive to improve our condition? Certainly not. One of the most fundamental tenet of life says that we either expand and grow or we wither and perish. There is no standing still or status quo in nature.

The gift of life comes with a price and that is the responsibility of striving to make the most of what has been given us by doing everything possible to become all that we can be so that we can contribute as much as we can.

There is nothing new under the sun. No matter what it is that we want to achieve, someone has already done it before. If we seek personal happiness, all that we have to do is to look at the people who already have achieved that objective, observe how they did it and emulate them.

I have known many very happy people and I have read the biographies of many more. All these people had one trait in common, they saw life as a game. You win some and you lose some but the ratio of wins and loses is proportional to the efforts that the players put into the game.

Happy people also know that you learn more from your loses than you do in the cases where you have won. They take the view that there is no such thing as failure, only logical outcomes. Either we come out with the prize or with new and accrued experience.
Losing a battle does not mean losing the war.

Happiness is the result of the correct application of specific rules. We should start out with an attitude of gratitude for all that has been given us. Accept the fact that life is an unpredictable adventure that will not always go according to plans and that when it does not, the best recourse is to adapt, change strategy and keep forging ahead.

Biologically, the purpose of life is to sustain life. That’s the fundamental reason that evolution has been successful. We are part of that evolutional process. Our role in it is to become all that we can be so that we can contribute as much as we can. If, we understand that process and live accordingly, personal happiness and personal satisfaction is the ultimate reward.

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