We are pretty well the result of past failures. Almost everything that we’ve learned is the result of failures. It started as toddlers. We learned to walk by falling down, we learned to talk my making bizarre sounds and we learned to eat by ourselves by smearing food all over our face.

We learn by failing yet we see failures as a dreaded enemy. However that’s how it should be. Without pain, failures would be useless. It is the pain attached to failure that is the real teacher. That pain is the motivator that forces us to improve and become able to succeed where we failed before.

If we desire to learn, expand and grow, we have to change the way that we see failure. Failure is a teacher and a motivator that must be seen as such. Every new experiment is an exercise in failure. That’s how we learn and improve. That’s what we’ve been doing all our life without knowing it.

Everyone who enjoys greater success than we do has failed more times than we have. Winners have a love-hate relationship with failure. That is, they love the lessons that failures teach but they hate failures enough that they’ll do whatever it takes not to fall prey to its grip.

That love-hate relationship has to be calibrated so that the hate does not turn into such fear of failure as to lead to over cautiousness and paralysis. A great many beautiful projects never left the ground because of that exaggerated fear of failure. Some failures are part of the game of life and cannot be escaped but it cannot be allowed to rule our life.

It is also very important to note that failures should not be viewed as personal defeats or as character flaws. There may have been some lack of information or maybe some overly optimistic judgments but if a sincere effort was made and the project failed, there should be no self-blame and certainly no sense of guilt.

It is said of Donald Trump that before embarking on a new venture, he will consider the downside and if he knows that he can handle that, he will go ahead with the project. In other words, Mr. Trump will evaluate the worst possible scenario and if it proves to be something from which he can financially recover, he will go ahead with the project.

That’s a pretty levelheaded way of appraising the situations. There is a possible downside to any worthwhile project. There is always a distinct possibility of failure. But if the project is worthy enough and the possible failure is not of catastrophic proportion, the anchor should be lifted and the project set on its way.

Failures are a part of life. They should be respected but not overly feared. They should be avoided if at all possible but not taken personally if they do occur. Even with the greatest stretch of the imagination they could never be considered to be pleasant, but they are our best teachers. So, if we ever aspire to any meaningful level of success, we must learn to cohabitate with failures.

Finally, it must be understood that, overall, the fear of failure causes more harm than the consequences of failure. When an exaggerated fear of failure prevents us from even trying to do something worthwhile with our life, failure has won. And that is the ultimate failure.

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On May 25, 1961, President John F. Kennedy announced before a special joint session of Congress the dramatic and ambitious goal of sending an American safely to the Moon before the end of the decade. Only the construction of the Panama Canal in modern peacetime and the Manhattan Project in war were comparable in scope.

Going to the Moon had been a dream for centuries. It remained not much more than a dream until a man, John F. Kennedy, then President of the United States, made the commitment that it would be done during the next decade.

The decision to make this commitment publicly demanded an extraordinary level of courage. The honor of an entire nation was at stake. Kennedy’s legacy’s was at stake. The entire world was watching. Especially Russia.

At the time, the cold war was on. Russia and the US were competing for supremacy in the world’s opinion and in technology. Russia had already beaten the US in space travel by successfully sending Sputnik 1 in orbit. Kennedy could not afford to fail in his promise to put the first man on the Moon.

One can only guess what courage it took for JFK to make that announcement. Going to the Moon had never been done before. No one knew for certain if it was feasible or not. The technology was not yet available. There was more unknown than known. Lives were at stake. A nation’s pride was at stake. The legacy of the most prominent family in the USA was at stake. There was no room for failure.

Today, four decades later, as we ponder on those events, we cannot fail to be inspired by those lessons in courage and faith in human’s ingenuity. It also brings to mind Napoleon Hill’s famous maxim, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” Beautiful words and very lofty sentiments that may have been lost in the turmoil of everyday life.

As Tony Robbins so poignantly said in his famous book, Awaken the Giant Within, “At one time in our lives, we all had a vision for the quality of life that we desire and deserve. Yet, for many of us, those dreams have become so shrouded in the frustration and routines of daily life that we no longer even make an effort to accomplish them. For far too many, the dream has dissipated – and with it, so has the will to shape our destinies. Many have lost that sense of certainty that creates the winner’s edge.”

With every new day that is given us comes a choice. We can let ourselves be challenged by life or we can choose to challenge life. As we travel on our little journey on Planet Earth, we can choose to react to life’s circumstances or we can choose to set our own agenda. We can dream or we can take action. The choice is ours.

We can simply sit and admire the courage and integrity of the great men and women that came before us or we can step into the arena and make our dreams come true. We can stand up and be counted or join the mass that lead a life of quiet desperation.

With faith and courage, anything is possible. Those two resources are already within us waiting to be activated and used. Life is calling. Will we have the courage to respond? The quality of our life depends on the response to that question.

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There are two major elements that shape us and direct our behavior. These are, the way we see the world and our belief system. Our view of the world is the terrain on which we navigate by using our beliefs system which is the map that we use to reach our target or intended destination.

Each of us has a very definite view or understanding of the world that we live in. Einstein has said, “Man tries to make for himself in the fashion that suits him best a simplified and intelligible picture of the world.” Everyone of us has a personal understanding of the world that we live in and that is the world that we feel that we must deal with.

Whether our view of the world is accurate or not does not alter the fact that it is the world that we are traveling through and that we must deal with. Our view of the world is our reality. It is what we feel that we must contend with. It shapes and direct our decisions, if affects the way we think, act and react.

The map that will guide us through our view of the world is our belief system. Each of us has fundamental beliefs about almost everything. What life is, who we are, what our role on Planet Earth is. We have fundamental beliefs about every subjects that has any influence on us and on society as a whole.

Again, those beliefs may be accurate or not but they are still the map that will be used to navigate through our conception of the world. That is the map that we use to get to our target and that target is to fill our primary needs.

As humans, we have six primaries needs that have to be filled. They are:

1. Certainty. We need to feel relatively secure.
2. Uncertainty. If we could predict everything, life would be so boring as to be unlivable.
3. Significance. We need to feel that we count, that we matter.
4. Connection and love. We need to feel that we belong.
5. Growth. Personal growth is a basic instinct that we all share.
6. Contribution. A normal person has a primal need to contribute in some way to society.

One of these needs is always more important for us than the others and will constitute our primary target or intended destination port.

As an example, let’s take the case of someone who’s dominant need would be significance. That person has a major need to feel the he is special, that he matters, that he really counts as an individual. The way that he fills that need will be the prime director of his behavior.

That person has and understanding of the world, that’s the terrain that he must navigate to reach his target which is significance. That person also has a map that will direct him in that journey and that’s his fundamental beliefs. And it is the interaction of the world view, the beliefs and the intended target that will determine his behavior.

This may not be an easy concept to grasp. It does take time and reflection before we can fully understand it. For those who are interested in pursuing some research on the subject, the following video of a TED conference by Anthony Robbins will provide invaluable help.

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Unless a fundamental change is made in our way of thinking, no lasting change is possible. To affect changes, first we must raise our standards. We must decide what will no longer be acceptable in our life. Fundamental beliefs must be changed. The way we perceive ourselves must be changed.

So long as a person sees himself as being powerless in front of a situation, that situation will persist. A timid person who sees himself as being timid will remain timid so as long as that belief is held. Same for overeating, smoking, alcohol or drug addiction etc…

In order to be able to change a belief, first we must understand what a belief is. A belief is noting but a notion supported by evidences. A timid person has had occurrences in his past where he acted and reacted in a timid way. Today, those occurrences serve as evidences that he is a timid person.

However, if that person puts his mind to it, he can find many instances when he reacted with exemplar self-assuredness. It could have been while playing sport, while he was angry or with friends. But in anyone’s life there were ample instances where timidity was out of the picture that a solid bank of references can be accumulated to create the belief that, indeed, that person is not fundamentally timid but only reacted this way in certain occasions.

With some modest efforts, new beliefs can be created to replace old and disempowering ones. That is what raising personal standards is all about. It’s changing the way that a person sees himself.

We always react as we perceive ourselves to be. There is no more powerful mechanism to control the behavior than identity. Acting contrary to what we perceive ourselves to be is extremely difficult and painful. We always seek to maintain our identity at all cost.

So, to affect a lasting change, we must change our identity or how we perceive ourselves to be. At first it could be seen as an impossible task but, if we look around us we see evidences that it is being done all the time.

It usually happens when someone has had enough and really decide to change. We see it when someone decides to end a bad relationship. At one point that person decided he or she was no longer the type of person who would stand the abuses. That person raised its standard, changed beliefs and identity and finally left.

Same process with the person who quit a dead end job, goes back to school and gets a new beginning or the person who decided that he would no longer be bullied, starts to assert himself and wins the respect of others.

It is very possible to affect major changes in our life is we are ready to raise our standards, change our beliefs and adopt a new self-image.

Is it easy? It is as hard or as easy as we want to make it out to be. It depends on our level of determination. If changes is something that we “should” do, chances are that it will not happen. But, if it’s something that we “must” do, change is inevitable and best of all, it will be easier than we ever thought possible.

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One thing that a good seminar will do is to get you boosted and fired up. You come back with the feeling that you could take on the world. You’ve taken notes, you’ve set up goals, you’ve made plans, you have that list of things to do, what you’re going to change and what steps you’re going to take to reach the next plateau in your professional life.

There are things that you will change and chances are that you will see a dramatic increase in business for a few weeks and maybe a month or two. But as time passes there is a tendency to get back to the level that you were before taking the seminar.

Easy come, easy go says the old proverb. And that is very true as far as seminars are concerned. Your state of mind has been changed for a period of time but the effect of the seminar has not been wired in your brain. So is bound to partially disappear with time.

Something else that those seminars will do is that you will meet some very successful people. If you play your cards right, you may bond with these exceptional people and friendships may develop. Those friendships will become tremendous assets.

It is a well known fact that you eventually gravitate to become like the people that you hang around with. Hang around with winners and you’ll become a winner, hang around with losers and down the drain you go. So, if you are smart, you will nurture the relation with those that you would like to model and emulate.

Seminars will also force you to expand your horizon and open new vistas for you. You will see and hear what others have done and you probably will realize that you have been setting your goals and objectives too low. After all, if the guys sitting next to you at the seminar could do it, why could you not also do it yourself? That old testosterone will kick in and chances are that it will be a wakeup call for you.

There is no question that seminars are great and if you are serious about succeeding you certainly should take some. There is money involved but it is well worth it if you follow these rules.

1. A good seminar will open the doors for you and will get you all fired up but that feeling has to be actively sustained through daily motivational sessions. Those sessions can be done by reading motivational material, listening to tapes, CDs or videos or even reading the notes that you took at the seminar. Enthusiasm is like a fire it will soon die unless it is regularly fed.

2. Keep in touch with the new friends or contacts that you’ve made at the seminar through networking at least once a week. Share you goals and objectives with these people. It will heighten your commitments It will make sure that you keep your eyes on the ball and go through with your plans.

3. Don’t try to teach what you’ve learned at the seminar to anyone. This may sound strange but it is a very important element that must be respected if you want to really benefit from your seminar.

The reason for that is the fact that you probably will be so impressed with what you got out of that seminar that you’ll feel that the whole world should know about it. So, instead of applying that technology yourself, you will waste your time and energy trying to teach it to other. Remember that you really “got” that information because you were in the seminar’s atmosphere and that is something that cannot be replicated in the settings of everyday life.

So, keep that technology and knowledge to yourself until you have achieved your goals and objectives… and then, go out and transform the world if you still want to do it.

Some seminar experiences are elementary and essential to pave the path to success. Whatever money you invest in yourself will never be lost and will pay great dividend, if, and only if, you follow the above rules.

It is said that what you don’t know cannot hurt you. That is false. Success is a science and not a fluke. The “how” to succeed has to be learned and a motivational seminar is a great place to start. It may only be the first step to success… but you know what they say about a journey of a thousand miles, it starts with the first step.

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The word intimidation is used here because it conveys a more dynamic image than the word impress but both words could be used to define the process advocated in this page. The object of the process is to magnify the personal image to empower and give more credence to the person using it.

Knowledge and competence are great assets but in order to be fully exploited they must be presented with a striking or at least an exceptional personal image. William Sidis was probably the world smartest man with an IQ estimated to be between 250 and 300 yet he never amounted to anything. The man died at age 56, broke and alone. Why? For two reasons, he could not connect with his peers and had zero charisma or well packaged personal image.

Every society is composed of overlapping social hierarchies. Those who stand at the top of a particular hierarchy will dominate and those at the bottom will be dominated. Some hierarchy are important others are of secondary nature. Sidis was at the top of the academic hierarchy but he was at the bottom on the social hierarchy. His exceptional intelligence propelled him at the top of the academic world but his lack of a positive personal image kept him from ever achieving business professional or even artistic success.

To succeed, a person needs content (knowledge and abilities) and a positive and compelling personal image. Some have succeeded with out one of these two elements but they are the rare exceptions. That is especially true in the cases where people were lacking the proper personal image. The world is full of obscure genius who never made it because the could not “sell” to the world what they had to offer.

Life is perception and perception is mostly determined by images. It is not surprising that most successful people will be somewhat preoccupied with the image that they project. They understand its importance and its value.

In the animal world, the alpha male will always be the most impressive of the pack. Thanks to the level of his intelligence, man has been able to transcend that situation. The alpha male or female are not always the most impressive physically but they do project the superior image. And, whether you like it or not, that is the art of winning through intimidation.

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The process is completely automatic but will color all the subsequent encounters that we’ll be having with that person. Our first impression will be a lasting one. That is why it is said that it’s impossible to make a second good first impression when meeting someone.

The question almost never arises as to whether that first impression was accurate or not. Invariably we will trust the initial impression and that can lead to faulty evaluations and great learning experiences missed.

No one will argue the value of having an open mind which would also mean that an inquisitive doubt is vastly superior to an indolent assurance. Whenever we are certain about anything, we no longer question it. Not a very wise thing to do if we consider that everything changes all the time. What was true yesterday might not still be true today.

A true scientist will never assert that anything is the truth. A true scientist will always allow for the possibility that some unknown factor might not have been taken in an equation and that what we see a the truth might not be so. Absolutes are not accepted by scientists and they should not be accepted by the rational mind.

Robert Pirsig said in effect that, some scientific truths seem to last for centuries, others for less than a year. Scientific truth is not dogma, good for eternity, but a temporal quantitative entity that can be studied like anything else.

So if scientific truths are temporary, it would stand to reason that opinions, notions and beliefs could certainly stand some questioning from time to time.

Knowing that we might not know is vastly superior and more accurate than holding an obstinate assurance. Certainty might bring assurance but it can also lead to a close mind and the inability to learn, expand and grow.

It is said that the only things that will not change are death and taxes. It may have been said in jest but there is certainly a lot of truth in there. At least… I think so…

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However in order to be able to emulate someone, we have to get to the core of that person’s being. We have to know what makes him tick. The central element, around which everything else revolve has to be uncovered and understood.

In the cases of people like Trump and Schwarzenegger it would be pride. They have to be the biggest and own the most. As far as they are concerned, life is a contest and a contest that they must win. That would be the pivot around which their life is built and from which everything else eradiate.

The need to win in their central motivating force. That’s where their energy and their drive comes from. Everything else is subordinated to that need.

In Obama’s case, it is different. He does not seem to be motivated by the desire for acquisition but much more by a desire and a need for self-expression. But that need does not seem to be motivated by megalomania which is usually the case when the need is manifested to such an extent.

So whatever factor is at the roots of Obama’s motivation and demeanor has to be deeper than the desire to acquire and win. The man is not primarily after honor or recognition. In other words, he is not motivated by a central need. So, the question then becomes, why would he work so hard if it is not to satisfy a need?

After pondering that question for a long time, I have come to the conclusion that Obama can be completely dedicated to a cause that will not serve to fulfill a need because he has found peace of mind. That’s the secret of Obama’s mystique and sucess. Peace of mind and nothing else.

With peace of mind you are totally free from fears and demands. With peace of mind you are free, there is no work, only play. There is no desire other than that of following the inner voice that will guide and inspire you.

I may be right and I may be wrong in my assumption. It does not matter. That’s what my reality is and that is all that matters as long as I’m concerned. How to emulate Obama is now clear for me. It can and it will be used to further my personal growth.

The saying, “No drama Obama.” now has a new meaning for me. All that I have to do now is to let it sink in through osmosis and, gradually, it will be wired in the neurons of my brain. Peace of mind will gradually supplant other less important considerations and will become a central source of power and energy.

Personal Development is a long and slow process. Luckily, if you have peace of mind, there is no rush. You are already happy exactly where you are right now. That’s the power of “peace of mind.” It’s a gift that was given me in embryonic form by my latest mentor, Barack Obama.

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Each and everyone of us gets to decide what things and events mean for us. We decide what’s good, what’s bad, what relevant and what is not. We decide what we like and what we don’t like. In other words, we take what we see and hear and create our own personal world out of that.

It is a well known fact that when ten person are asked to describe an incident that they all witnessed together, each will come up with a different version of what has just happened.

This phenomena is due to a mechanism in our brain that determine how we interpret reality. When a stimulus (a sight, sound or message) reaches the brain it is immediately sent to our bank of references, where all previous experiences are stored, and an association is made between the present and past experiences and, out of that association, a decision is made as to what this new stimulus means for us.

A common experience would illustrate the way that this mechanism works. Let us take the example of someone who comes in the vicinity of a dog. The previous experience with dogs will determine the reaction felt.

If the person has had pleasant experiences with dogs, the reaction will be pleasant. On the other hand, if the person had been once bitten by a dog, the reaction will bring a sentiment of fear. Same experience, different conclusion. Same world, different reality. The same dog, at the same instant will mean joy for one person and fear for another.

The world that we experience is one of our own fabrication. The process is automatic and beyond the level of our awareness but it is real just the same. We determine and create the world that we live in by taking the outside influences and coloring it with our past experiences. The outside influences are merely the pawns that we will use to create our reality.

There is a profound lesson to be learned out of that. If we get to create our reality we can also influence the outcome of that creation. That can be done by deciding what we will focus on and consciously deciding what the focus of that attention means for us.

Ten soldiers will go to war, be surrounded by the same elements and live a completely different experience. Where one soldier will be on the field of honor and seeking glory, another one will feel that he has been unjustly sent to a needless and almost certain death. Same situation but an entirely different world.

We get to chose, we get to decide what type of world that we live in. Why not make it a great one?

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Basically we are not pragmatic creatures of logic. Dale Carnegie said, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” Whether we like it or not, Carnegie was basically right. We start out primarily as emotional being but it does not mean that we don’t have the capacity to evolve and grow.

Growth is essential if we have any hope of influencing others into our way of thinking. A statement inspired by anger has no chance of being taken constructively. The anger comes through but the rhetoric falls flat. The message becomes overshadowed by the spirit that formulated it.

Effective communication is difficult enough that it does not need to be clouded any further by emotional knee jerk reactions.

People will be further swayed into holding previously held beliefs by emotional appeals but that technique will be counterproductive if a change of perspective is sought.

Anger is such a powerful emotion that the message that it sends completely obliterate the effectiveness of the words that accompanies it. Anger represents the possibility of danger and warding off that danger becomes the priority.

When trying to convince, the mature mind will reach beyond the world of negative emotions to get its message across. The mature mind understand that anger implies a sense of inadequacy and insecurity. Anger is the last resource when everything else has failed and danger is eminent. Not the hallmark of a strong and resourceful person.

Cerebral and not emotional. Reason before passion. The keywords in debating, the keywords when seeking to advance an agenda, implementing a point of view or changing someone’s mind. That is what great leaders do and they do it because they know that it works.

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