Most people live their life as they would play a game. In a game, if you do this, that and the other successfully; you win. Life won’t work like that. You can be the nicest of the nicest guys in town, do all the right things; yet some flying cow will crap on your head. I’m not being negative; I’m being factual. Each and every one of us was at one point on the receiving end of some real nasty crap that we did not “deserve.”
When it happens, we are devastated. Woe is me; why did this happen to me? I did nothing to deserve this. I’ve been a good boy; brushed my teeth and all. Life is so unfair! Let’s have a pity party. And we mope and grope while feeling sorry for ourselves. What a waste of time and energy; let alone all the useless sadness and feeling of depression. Why do we do this to ourselves?
The reason we do this to ourselves is because we have not accepted the fact that life is what it is and not what we hoped or wanted it to be. Life, like nature, is not right or wrong; it simply is the way it is. The concepts of justice, fairness and equality are man-made concepts. They exist in our mind only; they may be part of our culture but that fact does not make them real.
Part of our problem is that we let others define our truths for us. We have been told that if we were good, good things would happen to us; and we believed it. We were told that if we did our best; life would reward us; and we believe it. We were told that good people would succeed and that bad ones would not; and we believed it. Now, each and every one of us has seen hundreds of examples where these teachings proved to be wrong; and still, we believe them to be true.
We go through life like puppets being pulled by the strings of teachings that were false to begin with. Here I’m not saying that it’s not correct and very much preferable to be good, just; and treat others right. What I’m saying is that we should do those things for their own sakes and not as a manipulating ploy to be rewarded in one fashion or another. Life does not work that way; it won’t succumb to any attempt of manipulation.
By saying that life will not respond to manipulation, I’m saying that it will not respond to elements that not related to the objective that we have in mind. Life will not respond to the simple fact that you’re a good person; but it will be influenced by the fact that you did the right thing. Life and Nature are guided by logical sequences of events. If you walk in the rain, you will get wet; no matter what a “good person” you are.
The perfection of it all
If we can accept the fact that life, and Nature, are already perfect just as they are, we will never be disappointed, never feel like victims; and be able to live a serene and fulfilling life. On the other hand, if we have already decided what is right and what is wrong in life; we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, pain and resentment. As Shakespeare so apply said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
To be truly empowered to change things; first we must accept them as they truly are and accept that they are already perfect as they are. By doing so, we get resentment, disappointment and anger out of the way and can respond (and possibly change things) in the most effective way possible. By giving situations and events the space to be as they are, we are no longer at the effect of those things and can respond in an effective way. Instead of being “controlled” we become empowered to control.
A big problem for most of us is that we would rather be right than be factual. We have this notion of what life should be like and insist that this is the way it should be. This need to be right all the time robs us of the ability to experience and enjoy life as it is and sets us up for a life of disappointment and resentment. What we resist persists and what we allow to be ceases to have an effect on us. A force can only be destructive when it meets resistance. What we don’t oppose has no effect on us.
Beliefs are lies
Whatever it is that we accept a belief is actually a lie because it is bound to eventually change in one way or another. You lost your job, the wife has left you and you’re facing skid row – you believe that this is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you, right? A year later, you have a better job, a more suitable spouse and you’re sitting on top of the world. What did that scenario of doom and gloom do for you? It made you feel miserable, awful and nothing else. Why did you do that to yourself?
You did it because that’s how society told you that it’s how you should have reacted; and you believed it. When will you wake up to the fact that the only viable truth (or belief) is the one that works for you? Anything else is just a game that we play in an effort to manipulate life. And it won’t work. You’re just hurting yourself with you constant desire to be right. Let it go, live and enjoy it.
What has been said in this article is my truth – and it works for me. If you think it might work for you, try it. If not, ditch it and go on your merry way. Live your life, accept only the truths that work for you and don’t play games to influence life. That, if nothing else, should work for you!
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