Negative self-talk has to be the number one destroyer of self-confidence. You know the type of self-talk that goes on in the incessant chattering of the mind. The type of talk that says, “I’m so stupid. I always mess up. I can’t do anything right.”

That kind of self-talk is an ego pleaser. It gets us off the hook for something that we are not proud off and it reassures our little ego that he was not at fault. After all, what could we expect? We’re a number one goof off so, what we do is goof.

It may very well be an ego pleaser and a way of forgiving ourselves but what it does to our self-worth and self-confidence is criminal. The mind, like any good computer, will give us what it has been programmed to give us. It’s the Gi-Go principle. Garbage In – Garbage Out.

Self-deprecating thoughts serve absolutely no worthwhile purpose and should be shunned like the plague. It’s a bad habit and it’s totally useless therefore should have no place in our life.

There will be times when we don’t make the right choices, times when we say things that we may regret or act in a way that is not totally appropriate. When that happens the proper dialogue that we should have with ourselves should go along the way of, “What I’ve just said (or done) is not like me. I’m better than that and it won’t happen again.”

Those words should be said with conviction and repeated over and over again until the message has truly set in. We cannot change the past and what has been said (or done) cannot be changed either. However, that is not a reason to compound a bad situation by making it even worse through attacks on the self-image.

Vladimir Lenin said, “A lie told often enough becomes truth.” By expressing self-deprecating sentiments often enough, they will eventually be accepted as self-evident in our own mind. What possible valid reason could there be for doing something like that? Absolutely none.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are priceless. They bring the best out of us, they sustain us in hard times and they are the best friends that we could ever have. If we are lucky enough to have a good dose of these two wonderful attributes, we should do everything possible to protect them. If not, we should do everything possible to acquire those precious qualities.

Self-acceptance and self-love are the results of what has been called the ultimate seduction. In most cases, it’s a lifelong process. Something that is never finished and should be fostered every day for the rest of our life.

With self-acceptance and self-love, a person is loving, giving and has a propensity for forgiveness and tolerance. Without it, the urge to drag others down has a tendency to show it’s ugly head. It is a sad truth that misery loves company.

The level of self-confidence depends on the quality of the self-image. A good self-image will foster a high degree of self-confidence and a poor self-image will reflect negatively on the self-confidence. That being said, it becomes evident that to increase self-confidence, the first thing that has to be done it to work on the self-image.

That self-image is the result of beliefs that were formed by personal observations that we made and suggestions that were accepted as being legitimate. Some of those suggestions came from peers but many were self-induced and more appropriately called autosuggestions.

We cannot always control the suggestions that are given from others but we can certainly control those that are self-made through autosuggestions. These are the ideal tools to build up the self-image and the self-confidence. So, let use them wisely and judiciously by focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative.

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Tags: Money, Personal Development